Little London
by caatje01
Summary: AU Story. 24 year old virgin, Buffy, never had a boyfriend and is shy around men. Not knowing how to act around them or to get their attention. Spike’s your typical ‘bad boy’ though soft on the inside. He owns a bar where Buffy has been going.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: 'First Impressions'

It was another Thursday night when they walked into 'Little London'. The new bar had opened two weeks before and it had been popular from the beginning. Of course, due to the lack of good bars in Sunnydale, its success was almost a given. Cordelia, Willow and Buffy sat down at a free table and looked around to see if Xander and Tara were already there.

"Should we wait before we order?" asked Buffy when she didn't see her other friends. "Maybe they got stuck in traffic? I heard there was a pretty big traffic jam."

"I'm going to get something to drink," Cordelia said.

Cordelia walked off towards the bar with Buffy and Willow staring behind her. They noticed how she flirted with the bartender to get his attention.

"Looks like Cordelia is on the hunt again," Buffy said. Willow looked at the bartender. "Oh, that's Spike, he owns the place. Works as bartender too, I guess. I hear he's a real player."

Xander and Tara came into the pub and walked over to their table.

"Hey guys. What's up? And where's Cordelia?" Xander asked. Willow pointed at the bar where Cordy was still flirting shamelessly. Xander rolled his eyes. "She never stops, does she?"

"Hey Buffy, how was your day?" Tara asked.

"Normal," Buffy replied, staring at the blond bartender herself.

"Just normal, Seriously Buffster, you need to get out more," replied Xander in a teasing tone.

Willow and Tara both frowned and gave Buffy an apologetic look. But Buffy didn't hear Xander; she was lost in blue eyes and felt a pang of jealousy when Cordelia placed both of her elbows on the bar to give Spike a better look of her ample chest.

"If only," Buffy thought. Even over the noise of the patrons, Buffy could hear Cordelia talking to Spike and she was obviously having a good time.

XXXXX

"So, what does California have that England doesn't?" Cordelia asked Spike.

Spike tilted his head and curved his lips before answering. "Pretty young California girls like yourself."

Cordelia grinned at the answer. 'So, he is the player they say he is,' she thought to herself.

Spike placed the drink in front of her, giving her lower neck a final view he turned around. Cordelia smiled even wider, grabbed her drink and brought them back to the table.

"So, Cordelia, how'd the flirting go? Maybe you should wear something that reveals more of your cleavage; they're not rolling out yet." Xander commented.

"You're just jealous, Xander. Just because you can't find yourself someone doesn't mean I can't…"

"Knock it off you guys. We came here to have a good time, not to rip each other's throats out," Willow interjected. She looked up at Buffy who was still staring at the bar, and saw the dreamy look in her eyes.

"Earth to Buffy" said Willow, her lips curled in a sweet smile. "He is a hottie, isn't he?" They watched Spike serve a beer to the local librarian, Rupert Giles.

Buffy turned her face to Willow, her cheeks red with embarrassment. "Who's a hottie?"

Willow laughed. "Buffy, no need to pretend. Best friend here. Remember? I noticed you entered the staring competition that's been going on ever since the bar opened." The redhead grabbed her soda and added, "It's okay, you'd have to be blind to not notice him."

With that, Buffy's face was covered in an alarming red-purple color. She was ashamed to have been so obvious. "Well, I was watching just in case Cordy needed help with the drinks," she offered as an explanation, grateful when she heard Cordelia's whining to Xander, taking the focus off of herself, if only for the moment.

"Look Xander, I'm single and available and obviously I'm a good catch. Why is it that you're having a problem with the idea of me getting a man?" Her voice was a little bit cold.

"I don't have a problem with you getting a boyfriend," Xander said, but his voice had a small degree of bitterness. "I'm just saying that you're probably not giving a good impression with your body language like that."

"Well duh!" she said trying to sound like it was obvious. Turning around to face Tara she said, "Tara, tell me if you think that Spike is hot".

Tara gave Spike a quick look and said, "Not my type, but he is good looking." Her eyes moved quickly back to her drink, in obvious discomfort.

"See, Xander - nothing wrong with flirting with a nice guy." Cordy smiled widely.

XXXXX

On the other side of the room, Spike was having a nice conversation with Rupert Giles, who also happened to be British and was currently living in Sunnydale. He and Spike had become good friends in a short period of time. Mother England was their common link and Spike was sad to admit he missed the normal English language.  
"Bloody Americans," was a frequent phrase for Spike.

Giles on the other hand was happy to take the newcomer under his wing. "I noticed that you are quite a success among the women, William. I couldn't help but notice the pretty brunette that was talking to you earlier," Giles said.

Spike's eyes located Cordelia's table and saw the beautiful woman chatting with a dorky-looking guy and then a red haired girl who was sitting next to a pretty blonde girl. Spike smiled, he was a master of body language and it wasn't difficult to figure out they were a couple.

It only took a moment, when he noticed a petite blond who was smiling at the couple. Spike was taken aback. He had seen many beautiful women in his life - hell, he'd had them - but not one of them compared to the one he was looking at now. She was unique, he just knew it. His mind forgot instantly about the brunette who was again staring at him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: There's more than meets the eye 

Buffy walked into her apartment, arms full with bags of groceries. She threw her keys on the kitchen table and sat her bags down. She had gone straight to the supermarket after work since she hadn't had time earlier. It had been one hell of a week. Lilah, her boss, had been constantly on her case with things that still needed to be done.

Buffy worked at a large law firm and was an assistant to Lilah Morgan, the Vice President of Marketing Strategy. It wasn't a difficult job, but it brought long hours and heavy headaches. When Buffy was still in high school, her mother had been diagnosed with brain cancer. To help pay off all the medical bills, Buffy had decided to get a job after she had graduated from high school. She didn't really care about university - she never had ambitions to do anything special in this world. Besides, she wouldn't have known what to study anyway. Buffy had worked at a small diner in town for a few years and once her mother was declared 'cancer free', she had decided to look for something else. That's how she'd gotten the job as assistant. Buffy had been working at her mother's gallery while in high school, so she had some knowledge of administration.

After putting everything away, Buffy pressed the play button on her answering machine. As she sat on the couch, she heard Willow's voice fill her apartment.

"Hi Buffy! I just wanted to remind you of this weekend's party. Maybe we could go shopping beforehand? I still need a new outfit. Let me know, ok? Talk to you later!"

Beep

"Hi, sweetie, it's mom. Are you going to help me with the exihibition opening in two weeks? I remember you said you'd help me and I need the help! Call me, honey, I miss you."

Beep

Buffy looked up when she heard her mothers voice. Joyce Summers lived in Los Angeles, where she owned a small art gallery. Buffy's parents had gotten divorced when she was only two years old and Buffy had never seen her father again. She didn't really mind, Joyce was an excellent mom and she never felt like she missed a father figure.

She called her mom back to confirm that she would help with the gallery exhibition. After she hung up, Buffy called Willow to tell her she'd go shopping with her before the party. She also told Willow about the gallery exhibition, as both she and Tara loved Joyce and never missed any of the gallery events.

Buffy rummaged in her handbag to look for the number of Dominos Pizza to order her dinner when she suddenly saw a pack of matches that had "Little London" printed on top. Blue eyes were the first thing that came to mind. Buffy sighed loudly. There was no point in dreaming about someone who wouldn't give her the time of day.

XXXXX

"This was exactly what I needed," Buffy sighed over her hot cup of coffee. Willow nodded in agreement.

"I feel like my feet have walked over hot coals and we still have to go to the party tonight." She said and took a sip of her coffee.

Buffy and Willow had spent the entire Saturday afternoon in the mall looking for a new outfit for Willow, and costumes for the party that night. It turned out to be more difficult then they'd expected it to be. Finding a Halloween costume in May wasn't the easiest thing to do. But after hours of looking, they found a little boutique that sold fairytale costumes. Willow had gone for a sexy fairy godmother outfit and Buffy had opted for a somewhat more 'covered' little Red Riding Hood outfit.

"So, are you going to swoon all over the British hottie tonight?" Willow teased with a smile on her face.

"I do not swoon! And what does it matter, it's not like he would ever notice me." Buffy sighed. "I just don't know how to be around a guy, Will. And I know guys like girls that are confident and not some wallflower who doesn't even know what a guy likes."

"You know that's not true, Buffy. You're a sweet and caring girl, not to mention that you look great. Guys have been knocking on your door, but you keep brushing them off. Either you have too high standards or there is something blocking you. Try not to think too much. It's really not that scary, Buffy. You'll have to take risks to see where things can take you," Willow explained, looking at Buffy intently. Knowing it was enough to deal with at the moment, she got up from her chair.

"We'd better go now and get ready. The party starts in three hours," Willow said, checking her watch. They gathered all their bags and walked to the parking lot where Willow had parked her car.

XXXXX

Spike was arranging the bar for tonight's party. It promised to be a success. The whole town had been talking about it. Everywhere he went, he heard people talking about the party –

which made him smile. He couldn't have hoped for a better start of a new life in this foreign country.

After a bad break up in London, England, he'd left the country to start afresh across the big pond.

Spike walked back to the stage where the band was setting up their gear and doing sound checks.

"Everything going ok down here?" he asked to no one in particular.

"Yeah, everything's set up. We were just going to head out to get some dinner and we'll be back here at 7:00 o'clock," one of the guys replied.

"Right, see you fellas in an hour. If you need anything, just give a shout," Spike replied.

He went over to the bar and checked the lights. Everything was in place.

"Hey Spikey, how's my little blondie bear?"

Spike looked up from the bar to see his current 'nightmare' walking over to him. After he'd slept with her one night when he'd gotten pissed drunk, which had happened a lot right after his arrival, she hadn't stopped following him. Spike never had any intention of having a relationship with the girl, and he'd tried to make that clear to her. But somehow it wouldn't get through her thick head.

"Harmony, how did you get in here? I told you before not to come to the club like this." Spike looked around and saw the backdoor open. The guys must have left it unlocked.

"But Spikey, aren't you happy to see me? We could go out to dinner and have some fun later?" Harmony said, seductively pushing herself up against his chest.

Spike looked annoyed and pushed her away from him. "Stop it, Harm, I told you I'm not interested. Why don't you just go and hit on some other guy? I'm through with it".

He knew he sounded harsh, but there was no other way to get through to her.

Harmony looked offended. "Well, next time you have an itch to scratch, don't come crawling back to me for something, because you won't be getting it from me!" she said and stormed off.

Spike sighed and turned off the lights. It was going to be a long and busy night. He turned around and walked out of the club to get ready.

XXXXX

Willow and Buffy arrived at the club at 9:00 o'clock that evening dressed in their costumes. They saw their friends sitting at a table near the stage, waving them over. Willow grabbed Buffy's hand and pulled her along with her.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Xander spoke up first. "We saved you two seats. It's crazy busy tonight, so we're lucky to have any at all!"

Buffy gave him a grateful smile. "That was sweet of you Xander. I don't know if I could survive standing on these heels all night." She indicated the very pointy high heels that she was wearing.

She sat down next to Tara and Willow with a good view of the stage as well as the rest of the bar. She looked at the bar and saw Spike filling drinks. He was dressed up as a bad ass biker. Buffy drooled at the sight.

Willow gave her a soft kick under the table to get her attention back from the bleached blond.

"You're staring," she mouthed Buffy so that the others didn't notice, except for Tara.

During their coffee break earlier that day, Buffy and Willow had talked about Spike and Buffy's attraction towards him. But Buffy had made it clear that she didn't want anyone else to know about it. Too afraid of people's reactions and what they would do to make her go up to him. She just wanted to watch him from a distance, not believing she had a shot with him anyway.

Buffy smiled at Willow and turned back to the table.

"So, who wants a drink?" Buffy asked her friends. Cordelia pointed at the still-filled glasses at the table indicating that they were still good.

"Willow, you want a beer?" Buffy asked, already knowing the answer. Willow nodded and Buffy grabbed her purse to go to the bar.

Buffy took a deep breath. i You can do this, nothing to be afraid of, it's just a guy you are attracted to. He doesn't even know you're there, or would give you the time of day. /i While giving herself the pep talk, she didn't notice she was already at the bar. She looked up straight into a pair of bright blue eyes that left her immobile for a moment.

"What can I get you, love?" Spike asked her as he bent over the bar so he could hear her reply.

Buffy was completely shocked. Up close he was even more gorgeous. She heard him ask what she wanted to drink.

"Two beers, please," was all she could muster.

Spike smiled and went over to the tap to pour her drinks. He handed her the beers, for which Buffy paid, and turned to put the money away. When he turned back, Buffy had already left the bar with her beers.

She got back to the her friends' table and put one beer in front of Willow and the other one in front of herself.

"Buffy, are you ok? Your face is beet red. Nothing happened, did it?" Willow asked worriedly.

Buffy shook her head quickly, hoping no one else had noticed. Luckily for her, Xander and Cordelia were deep in conversation about something that was not even worth discussing. The only one who had noticed Buffy's return was Tara. But since she and Willow were a package deal, Tara knew of Buffy's interest in the blond hottie that owned the bar.

She looked over and saw Spike looking at Buffy. She smiled to herself. Buffy may have thought Spike had no interest in her, but Tara knew better.

XXXXX

Spike had been busy pouring everybody drinks at the bar when he saw the beautiful little blonde coming over to the bar. She was obviously deep in thought and looked surprised to be at the bar the moment she looked him in the eye.

She was wearing the cutest little red cap outfit. It stood out from all the other costumes the other girls in the club were wearing due to the lack of skin revealed. She had everything nicely covered up, only a small amount of her cleavage visible. She looked nervous, and it made her look absolutely adorable.

When she'd turned around to walk back to her table he couldn't help continue staring after her. It wasn't until he saw the other blonde at her table looking at him with a knowing smile, that he went back to his waiting customers.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Bad Endings of a Party**

The band was coming onto the stage, the lights were dimmed and the crowd got ready for the performance.

Buffy looked around the club and noticed that it was completely packed. All the tables were occupied and people were standing in the back to see the show. She looked over at the bar to see Spike busying himself to get everybody drinks. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. The graceful way he moved, the smiles and smirks he gave his customers to entertain them. When Spike suddenly looked up and met her gaze, she blushed furiously and quickly looked back at the stage.

XXXXX

Spike felt someone was watching him and as he looked up and stared straight at the pretty little blond that had him mesmerized ever since he had looked into those beautiful green eyes. He noticed how she reddened and quickly looked away when he met her gaze. He smirked to himself and thought how adorably cute she looked with a blush on her cheeks.

Shaking himself out of his stare he looked up at the band playing on stage. Everything was going as planned. The night had gone on without any trouble and Spike was very happy with his success.

XXXXX

The band had been playing for almost and hour and announced their break and a DJ took over for the next half hour. Bouncy music filled the bar and more people started dancing.

Buffy and her friends were sitting at their table enjoying their drinks when the DJ's music started. It was pop/rock sort of music that was excellent for dancing. Willow and Tara got up from their seats to head up to the dance floor.

"Come on Buffy, let's dance, you know you want to!" Willow winked at her.

Buffy smile at her, got up from her chair, and walked over to the couple. She tentatively started to sway her hips to the music, and soon got a good rhythm, forgetting the world around her. Strangely enough, Buffy had always loved to dance, even though she was never really secure about herself. But when she was on the dance floor, she felt wonderful, as long as no one came near her and made a pass at her.

Cordelia and Xander soon followed. Buffy was completely oblivious to the stares she was getting from the men - one in particular, who was standing behind the bar, admiring her graceful moves.

Completely unaware of her surroundings, Buffy suddenly felt an arm wrap around her waist. She was being pulled backwards towards a hard chest. That's when the world came crashing down and she immediately froze up. She could feel someone grinding his hips into her back and felt his breathing near her ear.

"Come on baby, you know you want to dance, don't stop now," he whispered into her ear.

Buffy had no idea what to do and struggled to get away from the man. He wouldn't have any of it though, and tightened his grip on her. Buffy frantically looked around her with a pleading look in her eyes. 

"Please let me go," Buffy whimpered and struggled harder. Her friends were too occupied with their own dancing and didn't see her trouble.

"Oh now baby, don't be such a tease, you got me all hot and bothered with that little dance you just did there," the stranger hissed in her ear while grinding his obvious erection against her bottom.

Tears threatened to spill over. She was too panicked to even think of screaming to get someone's attention, and she didn't want to make a scene either.

Just then she saw Cordelia looking her way who recognized the situation and

stalked over to where Buffy was being held, seeing the fear in the girls face.

"Hey, why don't you just let her go, isn't it obvious she doesn't want to dance with you? Just get your hands off of her and go harass someone else," Cordelia said, attempting to take Buffy's arm to lead her away.

The guy had other thoughts and turned his back to Cordelia, taking Buffy with him.

In the meantime the rest of Buffy's friends realized something was wrong. Xander was just about to take action when he saw the bartender walk up to the stranger who had Buffy in his clenches.

XXXXX

Spike was having a wonderful time. The audience was obviously enjoying themselves and the bar was as busy as ever. His eyes wandered around and he saw people dancing and chatting. His eyes came to a halt when he saw his little blonde fantasy being grabbed by some guy. She had been dancing the night away, swaying her hips to the music and seemed oblivious to her surroundings. He saw her eyes shoot open when she was pulled against the guy's chest. She was trying to get away, but failed and he could read the fear on her face. Her dark-haired friend was trying to pry her away, but her efforts seemed fruitless. Without thinking twice, Spike walked up to them and tapped the guy on the shoulder.

"I believe the lady made it clear she doesn't want to dance with you, so why don't you be a good lad and leave her alone?" The assaulter looked Spike up and down and unconsciously loosened his hold on Buffy.

Buffy disentangled herself from the stranger's arms and ran over to her friends. Willow enveloped her in a tight hug.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" the assaulter asked walking towards Spike.

"The name's Spike, I own this place and therefore am asking you to leave now before I call the police and have you removed from the property." The guy was

already backing up, not wanting to get into trouble.

"Fine, she's not even worth it anyway."

Watching the guy walk out of the bar, Spike turned around and walked over to Buffy and her friends.

"I'm really sorry about that, are you ok?" he asked Buffy.

Not really aware of what was happening and only half-comprehending what Spike was saying, she merely nodded. Willow led her back to the table where she sat down and was handed a glass of water that Spike had gotten for her.

"I think it is best we go home" Willow announced and got their stuff together.

Buffy again just nodded and mutely followed Willow's lead.

Spike watched them go, not in the position to do anything than just stand there. He sighed and walked back to the bar. This was not how this night was supposed to end. A thorn in an otherwise wonderful evening. 

XXXXX

The last two weeks had gone by in a blur. Buffy had been swamped with work and had visited her mom a few times to set things up for the exhibition at the gallery on the following night. Invitations had been sent out to all the major buyers and friends of the Summers' household.

The events of the costume party had been on her mind and she wasn't sure how to deal with it all. Why had she reacted the way she did? Why hadn't she been able to tell him off, or stomp on his foot to get loose? And then there was Spike. What must he have thought of her? He'd probably thought she was a sad damsel in distress, who couldn't even stand up for herself. That had been the main reason why she hadn't gone back to the bar since, even though Willow tried to persuade her to go, telling her that no one would remember what had happened. Buffy was as stubborn as always, and simply refused to go. Willow had soon given up, knowing that there was no reasoning with her when she was in one of those moods.

Now, Buffy was putting some clothes in her weekend bag, since she was staying the weekend at her mother's house. The gallery exhibition was going to take up most of the weekend, setting up the last bits and pieces, and of course, cleaning everything when the opening was over.

With a sigh she closed her weekend bag and hauled it down the stairs. She checked the windows and backdoor, grabbed her keys and locked the door behind her.

XXXXX

Rupert Giles walked into Spike's office. He'd been coming here every day around noon to have lunch with the new young Brit. They'd hit it off right away, even though they had a completely different style of living, what with Giles being the somewhat stuffy librarian of Sunnydale State's library and Spike being the owner of the bar with his 'Big Bad' image.

"Hello, Spike. Fancy a bite to eat?" Giles asked Spike as he sat down in one of the chairs in Spike's office.

It wasn't a large office - it only had one desk in it that stood right in the middle. At the back were two closets that held all the paperwork that was needed to run the place. There was a small sofa on the side and a chair, which Giles currently occupied.

Spike ran his hands through his hair.

"Yes, I think that's a good idea. I could use a nice big lunch. This paperwork is giving me a headache. I should really get someone to help me out here. It's getting too much to do this all on my own," he wondered out loud.

Giles snickered at that.

"That's what you get when you have so many things planned for this place. Why not take it easy first? Why expand it right away?"

Spike raised his eyebrow at that.

"Oy, I never said I was going to make changes right away! It just takes a lot of time planning and figuring things out before I can do that. But maybe you're right, maybe I should take things a bit slower before I dig my own grave with things that I can't accomplish anyway."

Spike stood up from his chair and grabbed his coat. "Let's go mate, lunch is waiting for us."

They crossed the street to a small bistro where they served excellent lunches.

"Spike, I wanted to invite you to a small gallery exhibition that is being held this weekend. A dear friend of mine owns the gallery and I've got two free tickets. And since I know you love art, I was wondering if you were interested?" Giles asked after giving the waitress his order.

"A gallery exhibition? I'd love to go. I miss being able to just walk into the national museum back home to take my mind off things."

"Great, that's settled then," Giles replied with a smile. He knew Spike had let his eyes fall on Joyce's daughter. He'd noticed the way he would glance at her when she was around. He and Spike had talked about the incident a few times and the tone in Spike's voice said enough to know he was worried and curious about the girl.

He would be good for Buffy. His bad boy image was just a safety blanket. Giles had seen the real 'William' to know he was a warm and worthy man.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Meetings at the gallery

It was 8:00 o'clock and the gallery was now open for the exhibition. Willow and Tara were at the doors checking tickets and Joyce was standing just behind them to welcome everyone to the gallery. Buffy had taken up the task of serving the drinks and was filling the glasses.

The room was slowly filling with people, so Buffy made her way to the backroom to arrange the food trays and get more wine. She just walked out of the room when Spike and Giles walked into the building, just missing them.

Joyce gave them a warm welcome. "Rupert! It's so nice that you could make it!" she said, smiling widely at him. Giles shook her hand and smiled back at her. "It's good to be here, Joyce, you know I always come to your exhibitions when I get the chance. I'd like you to meet a new friend of mine. This is Spike Devine." Giles motioned to Spike who was standing next to him.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Devine," Joyce said, while shaking his hand.

Spike took it and placed a soft kiss the back. "The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Summers, but please call me Spike. Mr Devine makes me think of my father."

Joyce blushed at Spike's gesture and replied, "And you may call me Joyce, Spike. And you're very welcome to the exhibition. Are you a fan of art?" she questioned.

"Art is one of my passions, drawing as well as writing. It speaks to me in a certain way, and I'm glad I have now found a place where I can go to admire new art." Spike smiled at her.

Joyce motioned the two men further into the gallery while she welcomed the other guests.

Spike and Giles walked to the table where the drinks were waiting for them and each took a glass. Just then Buffy came out from the backroom with new bottles of wine. Giles was the first to see her and called out to her.

"Hi there, Buffy. How are you feeling today? Still enjoying your work at the company?" Giles asked gently.

Buffy sighed and shook her head. She was just about to reply when she noticed a man standing behind Giles with his back to them. He had platinum blond hair and she only knew one person who had such particular hair colour. Giles noticed the direction her gaze shifted to and smiled to himself.

"Oh dear, how rude of me. Buffy I'd like you to meet Spike Devine, Spike, this is Buffy Summers, daughter of Joyce Summers whom you just met."

Spike had turned around to them and gazed into the lovely face of the woman he'd been worried about the last two weeks. She looked as beautiful as ever. He extended his hand to her and she took it tentatively.

"Hello love, nice to see you again. I haven't seen you at the pub since the party."

Buffy blushed when she thought back of what had happened at the party.

"I've been busy," she mumbled uncomfortably while avoiding his gaze.

Spike frowned at this, thinking that was not the main reason he hadn't seen her lately.

"If you'll excuse me, I have to fill more glasses and get the food out," Buffy said.

"Of course, dear, I will speak to you later," Giles replied with a smile and watched the girl retreat.

"She's a sweet girl, although very shy around people she doesn't know. Once you get to know her, you'll see that she's a very lively girl," Giles said to Spike who was still watching Buffy's retreating back. Giles knew Spike was determined to find that out for himself.

Spike nodded and promised himself that he would talk to her later that evening to try and lure her out of her shell. He was too intrigued by her to let her passive attitude towards him prevent him from getting to know her.

XXXXX

Spike was walking around the gallery and watching the paintings when he was tapped on his shoulder. He turned around and saw Joyce smiling at him.

"Hello Spike, enjoying the exhibition so far?" she asked while handing him a glass of wine.

"It's wonderful, really. It's been a while since I went to a nice art gathering, and this one is just perfect. You've got a lovely gallery here, Joyce. I will visit it often, I can assure you," Spike replied.

He looked around and noticed Buffy standing with Willow and Tara, having an animated conversation. It was wonderful to see her so relaxed, and he could see the liveliness in her gestures that Giles had mentioned earlier that night.

Joyce following his gaze and noticed it was focused on Buffy. She smiled to herself. Knowing that Buffy wasn't an easy woman when it came to relationships, she hoped things would go differently this time. She liked Spike, even with his big bad image she'd heard about from Giles, amongst other things. She could see he had a kind heart. He would be good for her daughter.

Smiling she took Spike's arm and said "Come on, Spike. Let's meet my daughter and her friends. I know you're dying to get to know them a little better."

She laughed at the expression he gave her, knowing he'd been caught staring at her daughter.

Joyce walked up to the group with Spike.

"Hi girls, I'd like you to meet Spike. Spike, this is Willow, Tara and my daughter Buffy."

Spike shook hands and took Buffy's and gave a little kiss at the back of hers. Willow smiled and looked over at Joyce to see her reaction to the antics of Spike charming her daughter right in front of her. Knowing that Joyce had been urging Buffy to go out more and meet new people, Willow watched as the smile on Joyce's face grew, which only meant she had faith in what was to come.

"It's great to meet you again, love. You walked away so quickly before, I was hoping to get a chance to talk to you."

Buffy blushed, and had no idea how to act. Noticing this, Spike smiled reassuringly at her, not wanting to frighten her off. He turned to Willow and Tara to give Buffy some time to regain her composure.

"How are you ladies finding the exhibition so far? A big success as hoped?" he asked Willow and Tara.

Willow was the first to respond.

"It's great. The guests have been very positive and it looks like they're enjoying themselves, which is always a good sign." She laughed.

"We usually help Joyce out when she has a new exhibition opening. Buffy and I met in high school when she and her mom moved here. Even back then she'd help Joyce with the gallery, and that's how I got into it," Willow explained.

Spike looked back at Buffy to see her reaction to the conversation. "So love, are you as much into art as your mother?" he asked her.

Buffy had calmed down a bit while Willow and Spike were having their conversation.

"I like it, but I'm mostly working here to help out my mom," she replied feeling more at ease with Willow standing next to her.

XXXXX

The conversation went on gradually and Buffy felt more and more at ease. Spike was very nice and gentle, and didn't make her feel bad or intimidated. He talked about his trip to the U.S.A. and how he started his pub.

It was almost time to close the exhibition, and most guests had already left.

Buffy excused herself from the party to clean up the dishes. When she was about to pick up a tray with dirty glasses, she felt a hand on her arm. She turned around and saw Spike standing there, and to her surprise he seemed somewhat nervous.

"Buffy, I don't know how to ask this delicately without scaring you away, but I'd really like to get to know you better. I was wondering if you would like to go out for a drink with me tomorrow night?" he asked her.

A little taken aback by this request, Buffy bit her bottom lip contemplating her answer. After the conversation she's had with him and her friends, she'd felt at ease with his presence. She was surprised by his persona. He'd shown them that he was a very soft and caring person. And she really wanted to get to know him better too. She was intrigued by him.

Turning on her automatic defence mechanism, she answered him.

"I don't know Spike… I don't know what your intentions are." She blushed at her own insecurity.

"Buffy, I'm not asking you for anything. I just want to get to know you better. I'm not going to force you into anything you don't want. You do what you feel is right. We'll do this on your terms, ok?"

Sensing her insecurities, and remembering what happened back at the club, he felt this was the best way to approach her without scaring her away too much.

"Ok… I'll meet you at 8:00 o'clock at Little London." she replied.

Spike smiled and nodded. "8:00 o'clock it is then, love"

Giving her a last reassuring smile, Spike walked back to the group so Buffy could continue her cleaning and rethink what had just happened.

XXXXX

Later that night, Buffy was on the phone with Willow, reliving the events of that evening. She still couldn't believe that Spike had showed up and that the evening ended with him asking Buffy out for drinks. When Willow had heard the news, she'd been so happy for Buffy. All the signs of mutual attraction were there, and she knew this could be a wonderful opportunity for Buffy to get over her fears of men. Spike had shown that evening what a gentlemen he was, and that he certainly wasn't the player type that only thought of getting into her pants.

"Just relax, Buffy. Everything is going to be just fine. You know he's not going to push you into anything. It's what he said himself. He just wants to get to know you. And you want to get to know him too. You can't deny that, missy," Willow teased her.

Buffy giggled at this.

"You're right Wills, I do like him."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Just Drinks, Nothing More

Buffy looked out of the window of her apartment. It was a bright sunny day, as if to say she had nothing to worry about. Tonight she had a 'date' with Spike. It wasn't really a date, she made sure of that. She was too afraid to call it a date. She didn't even know him, and she was still embarrassed by her display at the party, even though he told her there was nothing to worry about, and that she had done nothing anyone else wouldn't have done.

She rummaged through her drawers looking for something to wear. You would think with the amount of clothes she had, she'd be able to find something that she liked.

She heaved a sigh and decided on a pair of tight, low riding jeans with a black tank top that wouldn't reveal too much, but still showed some of her chest. Laying the clothes on her bed, she walked over to the bathroom to take a fresh shower and wash her hair.

Half an hour later, she'd done her hair and make-up and was putting on her clothes. She still had another hour before she was to meet him. She felt her belly fill with butterflies. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all, she thought to herself while pacing her apartment.

Not wanting to kill herself with the pressure, she decided she might as well leave, even though it wasn't time yet to meet up. She took her purse and keys and walked out of her apartment. 'This is it Buffy, you're actually going out and having drinks with a guy you like.'

XXXXX

Once she got to the club, Buffy looked around to see if Spike was there. She noticed him standing at the bar talking to someone, who she recognized as one of the bartenders, probably giving instructions for the times he wasn't going to be there.

Buffy walked over to a table in the back of the bar and sat down. She studied the bar more intently since she had nothing else to do, as well as from pure curiosity at what Spike had created here. Earlier visits had been for fun, and she hadn't really had a good look around to see all the details of the place.

The bar itself was positioned on the right side of the club. There was a large space in front of it that at this time was filled with tables and chairs for people to sit at, but it could be cleared and used as a dance floor. On the back end was a podium for musicians to perform their music.

On the right side of the club, there was an entrance to a hallway. The hallway led to the restrooms. At the front of the club where the entrance was, there was a flight of stairs that led to a balcony and Spike's office. You could see the windows of his office, so that he could keep a look on the bar when he was working there during operating hours.

The overall appearance of the club was a warm reddish glow with dark walls. The walls were decorated with lamps and paintings, and the ceiling had several mirrors.

Buffy looked up at the bar to see that Spike had finished talking to his bartender and was now walking towards the entrance, obviously with the intention of going up to his office. Somehow feeling that he was being watched, he looked her way and got a surprised look on his face when he saw her. Checking his watch, Buffy giggled to herself, thinking he might have thought he was late.

He walked up to her and gave her a charming smile.

"You're early, love, I didn't know you were already here. I have a few things to finish up upstairs. You can come along if you wish. I want to show you the entire place anyway."

Buffy fidgeted nervously at the idea of being completely alone with Spike in a room, but shook it off and agreed to his invitation.

Walking into his office he sat down at his desk and motioned to Buffy that she could take a seat on the sofa. Sitting down, Buffy didn't really know what to do, so she just sat there.

"So, love, how was your day?" Spike inquired while organizing his papers.

"It was your regular Monday. Work has been piling up all weekend, which goes along with the constant hammering of my boss. She causes daily headaches. But other then that, it was just super," she replied with a bit too much sarcasm.

Spike looked up in surprise, not expecting that kind of answer, and saw her turn crimson when she realized what she'd said.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to let it come out like that. It's just been a bit stressful at work lately," she stammered quickly, not being able to look into Spike's eyes.

Spike smiled at that.

"It's ok, love, it's an honest answer to my question. And I'd like to you to be open with me. Rant all you want, if it makes you feel better," he said smiling at her.

"So, I'm guessing you're not really enjoying your work then?" he inquired.

"Not really," Buffy sighed. "It started out nice when I got the job. Lilah, my boss, was really friendly and easy going, but as time went on she got more demanding and right now it's so busy and stressful that she won't even speak to me anymore if it's not work related." Buffy sighed again.

"I know it's a hard job she's doing, but it's just not something for me. But at least I have something to pay the rent and my bills. I shouldn't complain, there are people much worse off than me," she finally said.

Spike tilted his head, having studied her during her rant. She was absolutely gorgeous when she was ranting.

"You can always look for something else, pet. You're still so young, and there's lots of opportunities that will come your way," Spike replied.

Buffy smiled up at him, and started to feel more relaxed. There was no use to be sitting there like a stiff and frigid virgin.

"So what have you been up to? You look really busy. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have this drink?" Buffy asked.

Spike looked up at her and gave her another warm smile.

"You're not getting out of it that easy. I have bigger plans for this place and that's what all these papers are for."

This got Buffy's interest.

"What kind of plans? You've only just opened and you're already thinking of changing things?" she asked in awe.

"I'm just writing down some ideas for expanding. Maybe have some themes, or a VIP section? I'm not sure yet. There are all sorts of ideas flowing around in my head." Spike grinned. "But let's not talk about that now. We got together to learn more about each other, not to discuss business."

"It is part of who you are, you know," Buffy replied teasingly. She was feeling a lot more at ease. Spike did not pressure her into anything and something about him was drawing her in, and making her feel very relaxed.

Spike smirked. "You're right about that, but I want to know more about Buffy Summers, so I can figure out what it is that has me so intrigued," Spike replied.

Buffy blushed at that.

"There's not much to know really. I grew up in L.A. where I lived with my mom until we moved to Sunnydale when I was fifteen. I went to high school here, met Willow who you met at the gallery, and we became instant friends. In high school my mom was diagnosed with brain cancer and I tried to help her out as much as I could. As soon as I graduated high school I found a job to help her pay for all the medical bills. I never really was that ambitious, so I didn't mind not being able to go to college. I missed not being around my friends anymore and hated having to work 40 hours a week in a stinky diner, but I didn't have that much of a choice at that time. After my mom got declared cancer free, I went to look for a new job, and that's how I got the job I'm doing now, which I already told you about, and I'm talking too much, aren't I?" Buffy said feeling embarrassed that she just told her life story to a complete stranger without thinking twice.

Spike smiled softly at her.

"No, you're not. I like it that you feel comfortable enough to tell me all this. Means you like me." He winked at her, which earned him a bright blush.

"So, what about you, mister? You make me tell my life story, but what about you? What is the mystery that is Spike, and don't tell me that's your real name!" Buffy said teasingly.

Spike snickered at that.

"As if Buffy is such a good name," he replied

"Hey! My mother gave me that name," Buffy replied mockingly.

"Alright, pet, my real name is William Devine, born and raised in London, England. I studied English literature there. I love Shakespeare and poetry, and don't ever dare tell people I told you that! I have to think of my image," he said while moving his hand over his upper body which made Buffy swallow hard.

"My mother passed away when I was seven and my father is an English teacher at Oxford University. I have a sister, Drusilla. I moved to America only a few months ago after a bad break up with my ex. And that's it, really," Spike ended.

Buffy smiled at him. Hearing him talk about his losing his mother made her think of how close she had been to losing her own mother. She was thankful that she was still alive. She had no idea what she would do without her mother.

"Sounds like mister big bad has a soft side in him," she said while sticking her tongue out at him, but sobered up quickly when she said, "I'm sorry to hear about your mom."

"It's ok, love, I was only seven. It was hard, but it's a long time ago, and I've moved on. I know she'll always be with me in my heart. Now let's go downstairs for that drink, shall we?"

Spike walked over to the door while Buffy stood up from her chair. He guided her down the stairs and rested his hand lightly on her lower back. Strangely enough, Buffy didn't feel uncomfortable with this gesture, but rather savoured the feeling.

They walked up to the bar to get their drinks, and walked over to the back of the bar to get a table with a little bit more privacy. They both sat down and were silent for a moment, both not really knowing how to pick up the conversation, but enjoying the comfortable silence they were in.

"Do you have any siblings?" Spike broke the silence.

Buffy looked up at him, and gave him a small smile.

"Mom wasn't able to have any more children after I was born. The doctors said it was too dangerous and that she might not survive another birth. So I've been an only child. I always wanted a brother or sister though," she answered while staring into space.

Spike felt there was more to this subject, but pressuring her into telling him wasn't going to work.

They chatted some more about their lives and the things that they loved, neither one noticing that half the bar was already empty. They'd been talking for hours and neither had noticed. They felt so comfortable together.

"I better get going, another tough day tomorrow," Buffy said with a soft smile.

Spike regretted that she had to go; he felt so comfortable talking to her, something he hadn't had before with a woman. He knew she was special.

"Let me get your coat and see you out," Spike replied softly.

When they were standing outside, there was an awkward silence. "Well, I'll call you and will see you at the bar on Thursday?" Spike asked to which Buffy nodded.

He slowly walked over to her, and Buffy felt her heart speed up. She wasn't sure what he was going to do, or if she was ready for this step. But before she could do anything she felt his soft lips brush lightly on the corner of her mouth.

Spike straightened up to note Buffy's reaction to the kiss, and noticed she had a faraway look in her eye and he smirked to himself.

"I'll see you on Thursday, pet," Spike said which brought Buffy back to the present.

She smiled and walked off to her car, still not believing that she just got kissed, and didn't mind it at all. She actually liked it quite a lot. She could still feel his lips on the side of her mouth as she drove away.

Ok, that's it, the first physical contact as well. What do you guys think. Good?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: First Times

It had been three days since their first 'it's not quite a date' and tonight Buffy was going to 'Little London' with Willow. Spike had called her on Tuesday, one day after their meeting, to ask her how things were going. There was no pressure and the call had been pleasant and casual. They'd talked about work and normal everyday life.

Buffy was still amazed at how at ease she felt talking to Spike. He made sure to let her know there was no pressure from his side. And even though they hadn't truly talked about the feelings they had towards each other yet, she knew they both thought it was more than just a friendship. Buffy just didn't know how deep and true Spike's feelings were towards her. Was she just a fling? A nice girl for a few dates? Or was he interested in a more serious relationship? Buffy had heard stories about him. She'd heard girls talk about his latest conquests and how he would woo a girl, and then after a few weeks, ditch her.

Part of her told her not to believe those stories. She couldn't believe Spike would do those things, especially after the time she had spent with him. The way he'd acted at the gallery exhibition was only another example of how those rumours couldn't be true. But another part, the more insecure part, was telling her that he might not be completely interested in her that way.

The doorbell shook her out of her thoughts.

"Hey, Buffy, ready to go meet that gorgeous guy of yours again?" Willow said in a cheery voice.

Buffy blushed and said, "He's not my guy, Will. We've only gone out for drinks once. And besides, I don't even know how he feels about me or if he's interested in a relationship. We could be just friends."

Willow looked at her as if she'd lost her mind.

"Buffy, you must have noticed the way he looks at you. Now come on, it'll be closed if we don't get our butts in gear!" Willow said, dragging Buffy out of her apartment.

XXXXX

As they entered 'Little London' Buffy's eyes immediately went to the bar to see if Spike was there. At first, she didn't see him and felt a rush of disappointment go through her. He said he'd be there tonight so they could have another drink.

She followed Willow to a table near the bar and sat down.

"What do you want to drink?" she asked while getting out her wallet.

"A beer would be fine," Buffy replied. As Willow turned, Buffy looked back at the bar wondering where Spike might be.

"Where did your mind wonder off too, love"? A familiar voice said behind her.

She whirled around and saw Spike standing there with two beers in his hand. She looked at the bar to see Willow watching them while chatting with someone Buffy didn't know. Willow gave Buffy a wink and went back to talking to the stranger.

Buffy laughed to herself. 'So much for subtlety, that's Will.'

"Mind if I sit with you, pet?" Spike asked when she looked back at him.

"Please do, I was actually wondering where you were. I didn't see you when we came in."

"So, keeping track of me already, huh? Before I know it, I'll have a bell on my neck so you know where I am at all times," Spike joked.

Buffy looked down at the table feeling slightly embarrassed by the situation.

"I'm only kidding, Buffy. How are you today? You look good," Spike said, while taking a sip of his beer.

Buffy smiled back at him. "I've been good. Today wasn't so bad. Lilah wasn't as hard as she usually is, so I can say, I've had a good day." She laughed.

"How about your day?" she asked.

"My day was ok. I had some people inspecting the place, but everything turned out fine. These people are always trying to find something that they can use against you," he said while rubbing his eyes.

Buffy noticed how tired Spike looked and put her hand over the one lying on the table. He looked up at her, surprised by her initiative.

"Are you getting enough sleep? You look absolutely exhausted," Buffy asked.

"Well, thanks pet. Tell a bloke he looks like shit, why don't ya?" he said with a grin on his face. "I've just been really busy lately with new plans, investigations, and a girl that I've been trying to seduce," he said looking straight into Buffy's eyes.

Buffy blushed at that and averted her eyes from his intense gaze.

Spike put his finger under her chin to look into her eyes.

"I mean it, Buffy. I don't want to scare you off, and I told you we'd take this at your pace. But I want you to know that I do have feelings for you, and want to explore them further."

Buffy didn't know what to say. She was a bit shocked by his admission and she felt her automatic defence mechanism slide gently back into place, but she was determined to take a risk and not back away and hide her feelings. Buffy said softly, "I have feelings for you, too." Buffy looked into Spike's azure blue eyes and saw the awe written in them, which made her smile. She let out a giggle and Spike looked at her amused.

"We're quite the couple aren't we?" he said grinning. "Talking about our feelings like two high school kids. But love, I have to go up and finish some work before the night is over. I will come down later for a proper goodbye, alright?" He winked at her, and Buffy could only smile softly while she felt a blush creep up to her cheeks.

Spike leaned over and kissed her on the forehead, and then walked away.

Buffy looked around to see if she could see Willow and noticed her chatting with Cordelia and Xander, who were sitting at the bar. She took her beer and walked over to them.

"Hey guys. I didn't know you were going to be here. I though you had a dinner with your parents?" Buffy addressed Cordelia.

"Yeah, I was supposed to go there, but they cancelled it at the last minute due to some renovation on the house that obviously needed to be done first." She rolled her eyes.

Cordelia's parents were from the richer part of town and were always trying to look the best they could. They drove in the most expensive cars, wore top-notch clothing and had a mansion the size of a small football field.

At high school, Cordelia had been a number one upper class bitch who thought she was so much better than everyone else. But in their last year something had changed. She'd fallen for Xander Harris, the poorest guy in town whose parents were usually drunk. Ever since then, Cordelia had been taken into their small group of friends, and she'd dropped her rich girl act and started to realise there was much more to life than money.

"So, Buffy, I noticed you talking to Mr. Bartender there. Anything we need to know about?" Cordelia asked, a knowing smile on her face.

Buffy knew Cordelia would see right through her if she lied, so she did the only thing she could do, and tell the truth. "We've only been out once, so don't get any ideas in your head, Cordy. We like each other, but we're taking things slow," Buffy said.

Cordelia's only response was an arched eyebrow.

As the end of the evening approached, Buffy looked at her watch and then glanced around to see if she could find Spike somewhere. He'd said he was going to say goodnight to her before she went home. Deciding to go look for him, she excused herself from her friends and walked around. Not seeing him anywhere, she decided to have a look upstairs in his office. 'It would be rude to leave without saying anything, right?'

She walked up the stairs and knocked softly on his door. Not hearing anything she slowly opened the door and entered the small office. What she saw there made her face go into a soft, tender smile. Spike was lying with his head on his hands, facing the desk, obviously asleep. Papers were scattered everywhere around him.

Buffy cautiously walked over to his desk, contemplating what she was going to do. His hair was a mess of curls where he had run his hands through his hair repeatedly. Buffy slowly reached out to run her hand through his curls. They felt very soft as she slipped her fingers through them.

The sensation of her hand must have woken Spike up as he stirred from his slumber.

Buffy noticed his reaction and drew back her hand as Spike tilted his head to look at who was intruding his sleep.

"Hey, I wanted to say goodbye before I went home. But I couldn't find you downstairs. So, I came up here to see if you were working and I found you asleep. I'm sorry if I intruded. I had no idea you'd be sleeping and…" she saw Spike's face go into a wide smile which confused her a bit.

"What?" she asked.

"You're rambling, love. And it's ok. I'm glad you woke me up. I wanted to say goodnight to you before you went home. So thank you for coming up here."

Spike slowly rose up from his chair and walked over to Buffy who was biting her lower lip nervously.

"Well, I guess it's time to say goodbye then," she stated.

Spike smiled at her and put his arms around her waist, drawing her closer to him.

"Yes, this is the time for goodbyes" he said softly, angling his face to the side to have a good look at her.

Before Buffy could react, Spike was ghosting his lips over hers in a gentle caress. When she didn't pull away he dared to press his lips with a little more force onto hers, opening his mouth and running his tongue over her bottom lip.

Buffy didn't know what was happening, but it felt too good to let it go. She opened her mouth to welcome his tongue with her own.

The moment her tongue touched his, Spike moaned into her mouth and lost part of his control. He plundered her mouth and held her tight against his body. When oxygen became an issue they separated, their foreheads touching.

"Wow…" Buffy said breathing hard.

Spike chuckled at that. "Definitely wow, pet," Spike said, nuzzling her nose with his own.

Buffy slowly pulled back, looking into Spike's sparkling blue eyes. They were mesmerizing. She slowly lifted up and planted a soft kiss on his lips, surprising him and herself by the gesture. She stepped back again and gave him a shy smile.

"I better go… see you soon," Buffy said and turned around, leaving a stunned Spike behind.

So that's it. Their first kiss! Was it ok? Am I building thos story up well enough? Let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Act of Jealousy**

"Thanks Wills, I'll see you tomorrow evening at the club," Buffy spoke into the phone.

Her and Willow had made plans to go to Little London the next evening. Buffy hadn't seen Spike since the kiss. They'd spoken on the phone once since, and that had been a short conversation because Spike had been very busy with work. He'd sounded tired as well and Buffy wondered if he got enough sleep.

She could hardly wait to see him again. Buffy was still amazed at how at ease she felt with him. She'd never been able to feel so comfortable and relaxed around men, and she loved it.

Buffy was just about to run a batch when she heard a soft knock on her front door. Running to it, and opening it, she was surprised that all she found was a huge bouquet of flowers. She didn't need to wonder long to see who had sent it. She found a small red card that said: 'I'm sorry for not giving you the attention that you deserve. Please forgive me. Spike'

Buffy had to smile at this. She put the card aside and smelled the flowers. 'He sure knows how to get to a girl's heart' she thought to herself.

Deciding she wanted to surprise him as well, she went up to run her bath for a nice soak. She would go to the club tonight for a short visit to say thanks for the bouquet.

Two hours later Buffy was ready to go. She checked her make up for the last time in the hall way mirror and headed out of the door.

'Little London' was relatively busy, it being a Friday night, and most people that were there had gone straight from work for a few drinks.

Buffy looked at the bar to see if Spike was tending today, but she didn't see him there. Not wanting to barge into his office right away she decided on having a drink first and wait a little while. Maybe he would show himself in a little while. Buffy ordered her drink and sat at a table near the back of the pub, so she had a nice view of everything.

After about fifteen minutes went by there was still no sign of Spike. Just when Buffy decided it might be a good idea to check upstairs she saw a flash of bleached hair in the corner of her eye. She turned her head to see Spike in the arms of another woman. It was clear that it was a willing embrace from both sides and the huge smile on Spike's face indicated his happiness of the situation. Buffy watched with a dazed look in her eyes how he flung the other woman in his arms which made the woman go in a mad fit of giggles.

Buffy had no idea how to respond to this situation. She really thought Spike had been different. He's been so honest with her; giving her all the time she needed by letting her set the pace. She had truly believed his intentions were true and that he had feelings for her. But seeing the display in front of her, she realised she'd been played.

How could she have been so naïve? Buffy felt hot tears developing in her eyes. Not wanting to draw attention to herself she quickly got up from her chair, grabbed her coat and headed for the exit. When she was outside she let the cool evening air calm her features. Drawing up the collar of her coat Buffy made her way through the parking lot and got into her car and drove off towards her home.

When Buffy entered her home, the tears that she had held at bay came to the surface, and there was nothing she could do to stop them. She slumped down on the couch and curled up holding a pillow to her chest. The tears came down like a river.

Buffy woke up the next morning still lying on the couch. She hadn't bothered getting up last night, and her crying had tired her out. Buffy had fallen asleep on the couch with her cheeks still wet from her tears.

The ringing of her phone made Buffy get up from where she was. She checked the caller ID and when she saw it was Spike she walked away from the telephone, to let the machine answer it. She went up to the bathroom to get a shower, convinced that it would make her feel better.

When she returned she saw Spike had called her 3 more times and left a voice message. Not wanting to hear what he had to say, she ignored the message and grabbed her bag to go out. She needed to talk to Willow, her trusted friend that always knew how to make her feel better.

"Buffy?! What are you doing here?" Willow asked bewildered when she found her best friend standing on her doorstep.

"Can I come in Will? I need to talk to you" Buffy said softly. And only then Willow saw that her eyes were still somewhat red eyes from crying.

"Of course Buffy, come in, tell me what's wrong." She gestured for Buffy to come in and walked to the kitchen to get something to drink. "Do you want some tea?" she asked Buffy.

Buffy nodded and sat down on the couch.

Willow came back with two cups of hot tea and sat down next to Buffy.

"Now tell me what has got you so sad. You were so happy when I spoke to you on the phone yesterday."

Buffy look at Willow with new tears in her eyes.

"I went to see Spike yesterday, as a surprise," she whispered. "And when I got there, I saw him with another woman." A single tear fell down her cheek.

Willow looked at her with a disbelieving face. This was not what she had expected from Spike.

"He was with another woman?" she asked with a frown. "Are you sure he was there with her, maybe she was a good friend?" Willow said trying to make it better.

"It looked more than a friend Will. He was smiling and giving her big hugs. That's not just friendly behaviour." Buffy sniffed. "Why does this always happen to me, what's wrong with me?"

"Oh Buffy darling, nothing is wrong with you. You're the sweetest person I know. Come on, let's rent a movie and have some Ben & Jerry's. We'll worry about men another night, ok?"

Buffy gave Willow a weak smile and agreed to an all girls movie night.

Neither heard Buffy's mobile going off several times that night.

XXXXX

Spike had no idea why Buffy hadn't been answering his calls. It had been two days since he'd spoken to her, and she hadn't made any attempt to get back to him. It was getting on his nerves and he wondered what could be wrong.

He was sitting at his desk in his small office staring at the phone. First, she hadn't answered any of his calls the day before and then Buffy hadn't shown up for her usual Thursday visit to the club, which showed all the signs that something was obviously not right.

Spike got up from his desk, grabbed his jacket from the chair and walked out of the door. Getting into his car, he drove off to Buffy's apartment.

Knowing that she couldn't be home from work yet he sat down on her doorstep waiting for her to arrive.

XXXXX

Buffy had had the worst day ever. After her movie night with Willow, she'd gone home and straight to bed. She'd seen the messages Spike had left on her mobile again but never bothered to check them. Every time she thought of him she felt tears come to her eyes. She'd honestly thought he was interested in her. 'Guess I was wrong,' she thought to herself bitterly.

When she pulled up to her house she saw Spike sitting on her front porch. Great, just what she needed. She had no idea how she was going to face him. Pulling herself together she got out of her car, and walked up to her front door.

"Spike", she said, walking past him to open her front door.

"Buffy, I've been trying to call you for two days now. Why didn't you get back to me? Are you ok? Did something happen?" Spike asked, taking a hold of her arm before she could open the door.

Buffy turned around with fire in her eyes. "Yes, actually, something did happen. You know Spike; I really don't think this is going to work. Maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore. I'm sure you won't have any problem finding someone else." Buffy amazed herself by successfully stunning Spike. She pulled her arm out of his grasp, walked into her apartment and shut the door in his face.

Buffy walked to her bedroom still dazed from her own outburst. But as soon as she deposited her bag and looked into the mirror, seeing her face aflame and her watery eyes, she crumbled to the floor, letting the tears fall once again.

XXXXX

Spike had no idea what had just happened. He stared blankly at the closed door. Buffy had sounded so cold. Distant. So unlike her. Shaking himself out of his daze he knocked on the door, determined to find out what was wrong.

"Buffy, open the door. Obviously something's happened that has got you upset," Spike shouted through the door. He waited a few seconds before he knocked again. "Buffy, pet. Please let me in." Spike knew he was starting to sound desperate at this point, but he didn't care. Just when he'd found the one girl he thought he could have a long term relationship with, something happened to screw it all up. And he had no idea what it was.

Having stood in front of the closed door for over ten minutes without getting any answer from Buffy, Spike walked back to his car, and with one last backward glance, he drove off.

XXXXX

"Rupert, I need your help."

Spike stepped into the small office in the library as Giles looked up from his book. "William, how can I help you? Is something the matter? You seem upset." Giles got up from his chair.

"It's Buffy", Spike said, dropping down into another chair.

Spike had kept Giles in the loop of his progressive relationship with Buffy, knowing how much Spike cared about the girl and also knowing that if he would do anything to hurt her, Giles would hunt him down and give him a slow and painful death. At least, those were the words Giles had spoken to him when he'd told him he was seeing Buffy.

"What did you do?

"I didn't do anything, as far as I'm aware of. I send her a bouquet of flowers and after that I didn't see or hear from her. When I went over to her apartment just now, she gave me the brush off and told me we shouldn't be together anymore." Spike informed Giles.

"Something's not right, Rupert. What can I do?"

"There is someone you could ask," Giles said.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Things to talk about**

Spike walked up and down the hallway of the Summers' home. When Giles had gotten off the phone with Mrs. Summers, it became clear what was bothering Buffy. Knowing that he had to tell Buffy the truth, he'd arranged with Mrs. Summers for a 'surprise' meeting at her home.

He heard a car pull up on the driveway and knew it was Buffy. He went into the sitting room and sat down on the couch. The front door opened and closed.

"Mom?" Buffy called from the doorway. Walking into the living room, she froze when she saw Spike. "What are you doing here" she demanded.

"Hello, Buffy," Spike said with a soft smile.

"What do you want, Spike" Buffy asked in a cold tone, but she could hear her voice slightly quiver, and she was sure Spike could hear it too.

"I think we need to talk, luv. About us and what's been bothering you. You closed the door in my face without even giving me an explanation of what was going on. I had to go through quite a few people to find out what the hell was going on."

Spike noticed the alarmed look on her face.

"Yes, Buffy. I know what you've been thinking. That you think I've been cheating on you with someone else. I just wonder, do you, or did you, ever feel threatened in any way that I would cheat on you with another woman? Have I not made it clear to you that I'm very much interested in you, and that I would let you set the pace. Believe me, Buffy. I wouldn't have bothered with that if I wasn't convinced you could be the one for me. When I make a commitment to someone, I take it to heart. I've been cheated on and I know what it's like, so to think you would believe me capable or that…" Spike's voice wavered as he looked her square in the face.

Buffy had tears streaming down her cheeks. "Spike, I went to see you the day you sent me the flowers. I saw you with another woman. What did you expect me to think when you were all over her?" Buffy asked softly.

Spike walked over to Buffy and grabbed her hands.

"Buffy, I need to know if this is worth it. I've been through a lot with my last relationship, and I'm not sure if I can go through something like that again. I believe I have strong feelings for you, the loving kind. I need to know if you feel the same way too."

Buffy grabbed his neck and pushed her lips against his in a fierce kiss.

Spike could only grab hold of her and kiss her back just as passionately. This was a new step, for both of them. And he knew Buffy had never been in this position, but he was glad she took the jump.

Pulling away from him she buried her face in his chest. "I'm so sorry," she said.

"Shh, luv. It's ok. We need to work out a few bumps in the road, but we'll make it, right?" Spike said, gently stroking her tear stained cheek.

"But first, I'd like you to meet someone." Turning her around, Buffy was faced with the woman she'd seen Spike with in the club.

"Buffy, I'd like you to meet my sister, Drusilla."

Buffy looked at the woman who she'd seen Spike with in his pub. The woman she thought Spike was cheating on her with. Who turns out to be his own sister? Buffy was stunned to say the least, and it was clearly written on her face.

Spike gave her a reassuring squeeze in her shoulder.

"So you're the woman who's stolen my brother's heart," Drusilla said smiling at Buffy.

Buffy blushed to this comment and looked shyly at Spike, who gave her a soft smile.

"I trust you to take good care of him. He may look like the big bad on the outside, but he wears his heart on his sleeve. And he really is a big softy on the inside" Dru teased Spike, which earned her a scowl.

Buffy felt more guilt wash over her. She'd drawn her own conclusions and had not trusted Spike. She felt miserable and just wanted to run up to her room and cry her eyes out.

Spike saw the different emotions playing on her face and drew her closer to him.

"We'll talk some more later ok? Right now there's some food waiting for us in the dining room." Spike spoke softly in her ear.

Buffy looked at him with a watery smile.

Taking her hand he let her to the dining room where they all sat down for some dinner. Drusilla was happily chatting with her mom and trying to involve Buffy in the conversation. But Buffy was still lost in her thoughts and wasn't really paying attention to what was going on around her.

When dinner was over, Joyce and Drusilla offered to clear the table and do the dishes, so Buffy and Spike could get a chance to talk.

Steering her into the living room, Spike sat down on the couch and pulled Buffy down with him.

"I guess we have to talk some more about what happened." Spike started the conversation.

Buffy fumbled with the hem of her shirt and kept her eyes downward. She was feeling very conscious of the situation and still felt extremely guilty for not trusting Spike.

"I'm really sorry Spike, for not trusting you. It's just that, the moment I saw you in your sister's arms… I just didn't know what to think." She whispered.

Spike tried to give Buffy a comforting smile. She looked so small and fragile, with her head down like she wanted to vanish from the living room, which she probably did in this uncomfortable situation.

"Tell me what happened Buffy. What made you think I was cheating on you? Something must have caused you to think ill of me when you saw me hugging another woman." Spike said calmly.

Buffy looked up at him and saw the love in his eyes. She wasn't sure what had caused her to react the way she had. Apart from the fact that every time she'd been interested in a boy in high school they'd laughed in her face. It had crushed her when Angel, her high school crush had asked her to the prom and made a complete fool of her at the dance, leaving deep scars in Buffy's heart.

Buffy took a deep breath and started talking.

"When I saw you with Drusilla, I thought you didn't want me anymore, like any man doesn't want me." Buffy turned towards him. "Is there something wrong with me? Am I really that repulsive?" Buffy had tears streaming down her face again.

"Buffy pet, what ever makes you think that? If that were true, do you really think I would be with you right now?" Spike asked with a frown.

"Is just that, every man I've ever loved always left me…"

And there it was, the reason why she didn't trust him, or men in general. All the bad experiences in her life had caused her to believe that men didn't find her interesting enough to stick around.

Spike knew her father had left when she'd been a little girl, he didn't know about her other experiences with men though which made him slightly jealous.

"Buffy, you have to listen to me carefully." Spike started slowly. "I promise you, I'm not leaving and am certainly not letting you go. I'm here for the long run."

Spike gave her a gentle smile and before he knew it, he had his arms full of Buffy.

Buffy buried her face in his neck and let the tears fall. When she had calmed down Spike pulled back and wiped the tears of her face.

"You're an amazing woman, Buffy" Spike said before he lowered his head and pressed his lips to Buffy's.

When Drusilla and Joyce walked into the living room they found Spike and Buffy kissing each other rather passionately. When Joyce cleared her throat, they quickly broke apart and Buffy looked down at her feet rather embarrassed to have her mother find her like this.

Spike smiled at Joyce and gave Buffy a quick peck on the lips before he stood up from the couch and made his way over to Drusilla.

"Thanks Joyce, for having us" Spike turned to Joyce who gave him a hug in return.

Spike turned to Buffy and gave her a wink, knowing he'd see her again tomorrow.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Someone To Talk To**

When the door had closed behind Spike and Drusilla, Buffy looked up at her mother to see her smiling at her.

"What?" Buffy asked becoming a little bit uncomfortable by her mother's gaze.

"You really like him, don't you?" Joyce asked, walking into the living room. She sat down next to Buffy.

"I do," Buffy whispered softly.

Joyce got more comfortable on the couch, which Buffy knew was a sign they were going to have a serious chat.

"So tell me, baby. What happened? When Spike called me, I was surprised to hear from him. You never mentioned the seriousness of your relationship before. All I knew was that he was interested in you."

Buffy knew she had to tell her what was bothering her.

"Spike and I have been seeing each other for the last week. It's all going so fast, it's scaring me," Buffy said in a quiet voice.

"So you are afraid things are going too quickly and you have no time to adjust to this new adventure?" her mother asked.

Buffy nodded. "I've never felt this way about anyone mom, and it scares me. I feel so vulnerable," she said as a lone tear slowly made its way down her cheek.

Joyce took her hands and squeezed them lightly. "Buffy," she said and then sighed. "Not all men are like your father. Don't let his leaving us affect your judgement in men. I believe Spike is a good man, and it's obvious he cares a lot about you. Maybe you should talk to Tara about this?"

Buffy looked at her mother with wide eyes. "You think I need a shrink?" she asked incredulously.

"Buffy, Tara's not a shrink and you know it. She's a counsellor and I'm convinced she can help you. You feel comfortable talking to her, don't you? I think this is a good way of sharing your emotions and dealing with your insecurities." Her mother told her gently, still holding Buffy's hand.

Her eyes left her mother's face, slightly in a daze, but knowing her mother was right. She needed to deal with her insecurities. They were getting in the way if she wanted to start a serious relationship with Spike.

Taking a deep breath she answered her mom. "If you really think it will help me, I will give her a call tomorrow."

Joyce stood up from the couch, giving her hand one last squeeze.

"I think you're doing the right thing. And don't be afraid to take risks, honey. It will be worth it."

XXXXX

When Buffy arrived home, she picked up the phone and dialled Spike's number.

"'ello?"

"Hi," Buffy whispered softly, still feeling shy and silly for what had happened.

"Buffy love. Is that you?"

"I just wanted to call you and say hi."

"Oh baby, you can call me any time you want."

"Did Dru have a nice time? I'm sorry if I spoilt your plans with her. I feel so stupid." She sighed into the phone.

"No Buffy, you didn't spoil any plans. I wanted you two to meet, even if this was in a little different setting than I first had anticipated. She loved meeting you, and your mom. She had a wonderful time, believe me," Spike said in a soothing tone.

"I'm going to make an appointment with Tara. I told you about her right? She's a counsellor. Mom says it will help me with my insecurities."

Spike was quiet for a few seconds. "I think that might be a good idea. Talking to someone you trust can be very liberating. But you know you can talk to me about anything right?"

"I know… but some things are easier to discuss with an outsider, since some of these talks will revolve around you," she said.

He chuckled at that. "I guess you're right, pet. What do you say we go out on a date next Sunday? Something simple, I know we should take things easy, get to know each other, and not jump into anything we're not ready for."

Buffy smiled. "Yes, I would like that, Spike".

"Good. I will pick you up at noon. We'll make a day out of it," he said.

After saying goodbye she hung up the phone, knowing she already felt a lot better.

XXXXX

Spike hung up the phone, smiling to himself. He knew Buffy needed time to think about things, but he also knew she was most definitely interested in him. It was true that they would have to take things easy. They'd really only known each other for a week, even though it felt like it was an eternity, and they were acting around each other like they'd been together for months.

When he turned, he saw Drusilla sitting on the coach with a knowing smile on her face. She knew her brother like no other, and he knew that about her. She knew that when he fell for a girl, he fell hard, and fast. And that was obviously what had happened with Buffy. And knowing him, he would pursue her till she wouldn't be able to say no.

Sitting down he turned to Dru, already knowing she wanted inside scoop. He smirked at her.

"Stop smirking at me, Spike. Tell me more about you and Buffy. You drag me up to her house, telling me nothing but that you have to go there, and you want me with you. So tell me everything before I go crazy, huh." She teased him.

"Alright Dru, you know me well enough to have figured out that Buffy means something to me. I will tell you the whole story now, but I will do that over a nice glass of wine."

He got up and walked to his liquor cabinet. Grabbing some glasses and a bottle of wine, he mentally prepared himself for a long night full of stories about Buffy and interrogations from Drusilla.

XXXXX

When Buffy woke up the next morning she was feeling better than she had in a long time. Thinking back to the day before, and the events of that evening, she couldn't help but get a smile on her face.

Getting up from her bed she walked into the kitchen to make herself some coffee. She had a busy day ahead. Lilah had been on her case as usual about stuff that needed to be done, and it was literally driving her insane. She was seriously thinking of finding another job. Though she knew it would be difficult, since she had no college degree. She would just have to wait and see how things progressed.

She picked up the phone and called Tara. She was ready for a good heart-to-heart. Tara had an open slot later that afternoon because a client had called in sick. It was as if it was meant to happen that way.

She got ready for work and left the house in a cheerful mood

XXXXX

Buffy walked into Tara's practice and sat on the couch, waiting to be called in. Just as she picked up a magazine to read, the door to the office opened and Tara stuck her head out.

"Come in Buffy, I'm just going to get us some tea and we can get started." She smiled at Buffy waving her in.

Buffy made her way into the office and had a good look around. She'd never actually been in Tara's office before on a counselling appointment. Only when Tara had opened her practice 2 years earlier, but the rooms had been filled with balloons and decorations and it looked completely different now.

It had a nice and warm feeling that made her feel at ease. As if the room was having a soothing effect on the people that came in to talk about their problems. The walls were dark red and white, and there were two leather sofas in the room. Tara's desk was on the opposite side of the room, only to be used for administrative uses and first time consults with her clients.

Buffy sat down on one of the leather sofas as Tara came in with their tea.

"So, Buffy, what is it you want to talk about exactly?" she said as she sat down, handing Buffy her tea.

"Well, I should probably tell you about a few things that happened yesterday, when I went to my mom's house."

Tara sat quietly listening and then asked, "So, your mom thinks it's wise for you to talk to me about your insecurities when it comes to men? But what do you think yourself Buffy. It won't work if you're not open to my suggestions," Tara told her.

"Of course, I'm open to whatever you have to say. I realised yesterday that this is not the way I can continue living. If I would like to start a relationship with Spike, I will have to trust him, and be able to open myself up and give myself to him."

Tara smiled at that. "Buffy, have you any idea how wise that just sounded? I think you're going in the right direction with your thoughts. But don't throw yourself in the deep end right away. Dare to take risks yes, but take things slow. You've known Spike only for a short period of time. Get to know him, go have fun with him, and see where it leads you. The most important thing is that you earn each other's trust."

Buffy gave Tara a brilliant smile. "He asked me out on a date this Sunday. I'm really scared, but am looking forward to it at the same time."

"Ok Buffy, this is your assignment for this week. Yes, I'm giving you homework! Go out with Spike, try to let loose a little bit and get to know him. You can tell me how things went when we see each other again for our next appointment." Tara winked at her. "Go get your man, girl!" she said laughing.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: First Date**

When Buffy woke up on Sunday morning her alarm read 7 AM. Way to early to wake up on a Sunday! But there was an obvious reason why she had awoken so early. Today was her date with Spike. Well, her 'first' real date with him anyway. They'd met up at the bar before, but they were going to make day out of it now.

When she'd called him to ask what sort of plan he had, he'd been extremely secretive and told her to wear whatever she felt comfortable in. He'd laughed at her when said she needed to know if she would have to pretty herself up for something special. 'You are a goddess by just being yourself pet, there is no need for you to go out of the way to get all the other guys attention.' She'd had blushed profusely at his comment and hadn't known what to say.

He'd chuckled on the phone, and told her he wished he could have been there to see her blush, since he was sure that's what she had been doing at the time.

Buffy got up from the bed, knowing she couldn't get back to sleep anyway, and walked over to her closet. Spike may have said she didn't have to worry about how she was dressed, she still wanted to look nice!

Opening her drawers, she took out several pieces of clothing and laid them on the bed. After about half an hour it was full of clothes, from skirts, jeans, tank tops and blouses.

"Argh, why couldn't he just tell me what were going to do. Now I'm never going to get ready," she murmured to herself.

Just as she was reaching into her closet again for another piece of clothing her phone rang. Wondering if it would be Spike to fill her in on the day, she picked up the phone.

"Buffy here!" she practically beamed into the phone.

"Hi, Buffy. It's Tara. I just wanted to wish you good luck with your day out. Willow said you might want some support with picking out clothes?" Tara said.

Buffy sighed. "She knows me too well." She pouted.

"Buffy, I actually called you to give you the heads up that Willow is actually on her way over to you now, to help you out. I tried stopping her, but you know how she is. She even gave me her resolve face," she said.

Buffy couldn't help but laugh at that.

"It's ok, Tara. I could actually use some help. I can't decide what to wear and I've almost completely emptied my closet." She listened for a moment. "And I think she's already here, if the constant knocking on my door is any sign. Thanks, Tara, I'll hang up now to let her in. I'll talk to you tomorrow!" Buffy said before hanging up.

Opening the door to let her best friend in, she was almost shoved aside by a energetic Willow who pretty much rushed straight into her bedroom.

"Oh, I knew it!" she twirled around to look at Buffy, who was embarassed but was smiling anyway.

"Are you going to help me?" Buffy asked hesitantly seeing the stern look on her friend's face.

Willow's face melted into a huge smile and started laughing like mad. "You should have seen the look on your face just now, that was priceless" she hiccuped.

Buffy looked at her with her eyebrow raised. "Fine, be that way. If you're going to make fun of me, you can just leave."

Before Buffy could walk out of the room Willow had pulled her into a big hug.

"Don't be silly, of course I'm going to help you. Now, let's get this show on the road before Spike ends up standing on your doorstep with you still dressed in your nightgown. Though I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind seeing you in that little number" she winked at Buffy.

XXXXX

Spike woke up on Sunday morning with a smile on his face. Today was the day he was going to take his girl out. He'd planned a nice day at the beach with a small picnic. He didn't want her to eat too much because he had booked a table for two at a lovely little restaurant at the seaside that he had found when he had been cruising around the area in his car.

Getting out of the shower, and after he gotten ready, he did a final check on the picnic basket and then headed out to pick her up.

Getting in the car he put the key in the ignition, but before he turned it, he took a deep breath. He was actually nervous. He felt like a teenage highschool kid who was picking up a girl he fancied for their first date.

Kicking himself for his stupidity of the situation he was putting himself in, he started the car and drove off. He was going to make it a special day, one they both would never forget.

XXXXX

After Willow had picked out an outfit for Buffy, a nice knee high skirt with a white blouse, Buffy had put on her make up and done her hair. She'd kept it light and natural looking. When the doorbell rang she checked her make up for the last time and went to open the door.

Spike was looking like a gift sent from heaven. He was wearing a pair of 'very' nice fitting blue jeans and a blue shirt that really brought out those gorgeous blue eyes. When her gaze traveled up to his face, she saw him staring at her intently.

"Hi," was all she could manage to say.

"Hi, luv. Can I just say right now how absolutely gorgeous you look?" he said with a gentle smile on his face.

She blushed at his comment and looked away smiling.

"Do you want to come in, or do you want to leave right away?" she asked quickly to get out of the awkward situation.

"I'm ready if you are, pet. I've got everything I need in the car."

"Ok. Let me just go grab my purse and we can go," she said, turning around to do just that.

When she got back to the front door Spike was still standing there, waiting patiently for her.

"Ok. I'm all set," she said, giving him a brilliant smile.

Spike took her hand and escorted her to his car.

"So, are you going to tell me where we are going?" Buffy asked him.

"You'll just have to wait and see," he said in a secretive tone.

Buffy gave him a pout for good measure. She couldn't stand it when people were keeping secrets from her. She wanted to keep control of things herself, and not be dependent upon others.

"You can't stand it, can you?" she heard Spike ask, shaking her from her thoughts.

When she looked at him, he was smirking at her. Without even thinking, she swatted his arm and immediately noticed the muscle she encountered. "It's not funny." She had tried to sound serious, but she failed misearbly and she burst into laughter instead.

XXXXX

Spike was enjoying the ride. She was so adorable sitting there, pouting like a little girl.

When she had opened the door, he had been blown away by her beauty. He couldn't have moved if his life had depended on it. Luckily, he'd noticed she was having the same problem, so he had some time to get himself together.

Oh yeah, this was going to be a great day, he thought grinning to himself.

XXXXX

When they pulled into the parking lot near the beach, Buffy's face beamed like a beacon in the night. She turned around to look at Spike and she found that he was grinning back at her.

"I hope you don't mind sand in between your toes," he said, winking.

She opened her door and walked to the edge of the parking lot watching out over the ocean. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes enjoying the tranquil environment.

She felt movement. Spike was standing next to her with a picnic basket and a blanket.

"You ready pet?" he asked indicating the small trail that lead to the beach.

She nodded to him and they walked off.

After Spike had arranged the blanket and the contents of the basket he pulled her down into his lap and nuzzled her face with his nose.

"I've wanted to do that since the moment you opened the door at you house," he whispered.

Buffy looked into his eyes and gave him a soft kiss on his mouth. When she pulled back she saw the surprise on his face. Looking from his eyes to his mouth and back to his eyes, she slowly leaned in for another kiss.

She softly pressed her lips to his, and opened her mouth slightly to run her tongue over his bottom lip. She heard him groan, and he responded by opening his mouth and meeting her tongue with his own.

Buffy had no idea what was coming over her. She normally wouldn't do something like this, but something about Spike made her act this way. She felt so at ease with him, and not scared at all to kiss him.

When she pulled back she knew her face was flushed.

Spike pressed his forehead to hers as they both tried to get their breathing back to normal.

"I think it's better if you move over to the other side of the blanket now," he whispered. "Before I forget all about my manners and have my wicked way with you. And it would be a waste of all this good food," he said grinning at her.

Buffy giggled at that and moved off of his lap and sat down on the blanket, leaving the food in between them.

They sat in silence for a while, enjoying the food and the gentle sound of the waves hitting the shore.

"So, I guess this is the right time to get to know each other better" Spike said, breaking the silence.

"Hmm, yeah, I suppose you're right about that. We could take turns asking each other questions?" she asked, popping a grape into her mouth.

"Good idea. We can ask anything. Even if it's rather embarrassing," he replied with a wink.

XXXXX

They'de been chatting for almost 3 hours when they decided that taking a walk on the beach would be nice. Spike packed up the gear and they both took off their shoes. He held out his hand for her to take and they strolled off.

They'd gotten to know each other a lot better. How Spike dealt with the loss of his mother. How he was a stuffy geeky student, always with his nose in the books. She'd told him she didn't believe it for one second that he was ever a geek, but he'd been dead serious and told her he didn't always look like he did now. Spike had told her about his transition into the man he is now, and why he kept using pet names for people instead of their real names, which turned out was because, when he was little, he used to have trouble remembering people's names and would disguise that fact with using the pet names, which Buffy thought was quite funnny.

"Are you enjoying yourself so far, pet?" Spike asked, looking at her while they walked hand in hand.

"I am. I've always loved the beach. You did a wonderful job with the picnic too." She squeezed his hand a little.

"Well, it's not over yet. I've booked a table for two at a nice little restaurant not too far from here. We should probably head that way now." He looked at his watch.

Not even waiting for a reply, since she didn't have much of a choice anyway, he guided her back up the trail to the parking lot. He gave her a towel to get rid of all the sand in between her toes that he had put the basket back in the car.

"Let's go, luv. It's time for a romantic dinner for two."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Reflecting**

Buffy and Spike had just finished their main course and they were waiting for their dessert to arrive. The whole day had been perfect in Buffy's eyes. It had been a long time since she'd felt this way. Well, considering she'd never had a boyfriend to experience this with, you could say she'd never felt this way before in her life, ever.

They sat in silence, enjoying the music that was playing, and the fantastic view over the ocean. When they'd come into the restaurant, they were lead to a table for two in the back that overlooked the sea. It was obviously the best table in the restaurant, and Buffy had known Spike had arranged it specially for them.

"This is really wonderful, Spike," she said, sighing contently.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself kitten." He smiled back at her.

The waitress came over with their dessert and placed it in front of them. She had ordered the tiramisu and he had opted for an espresso. Picking up the spoon that came with his espresso, he dipped it in the tiramisu and took a large bite. Her eyes went huge and stared at him accusingly.

"You could have gotten your own you know! You said you didn't want anything!" she replied in mock anger.

He playfully stuck his tongue out at her before replying, "You won't be able to finish that anyway, there's no way that whole thing will fit into that gorgeous little body of yours."

She grinned at him cheekily and started eating. When she had put the last of the tiramisu in her mouth she saw him looking at her with something that resembled awe.

"As you can see, it fit perfectly."

He laughed. "You really know how to amaze me, Buffy. You're one hell of a woman."

She blushed slightly and smiled sweetly at him.

"Shall we ask for the cheque and head out, luv? We still have a bit of a drive to do before we get home."

She nodded and excused herself to go to the ladies room.

When she got back he was already waiting for her with his jacket on and he was holding hers out for her. After helping her put it on, he thanked the host for a lovely dinner.

"So kitten, I hope you had a good day, and that your tummy is satiated." He said in a teasing voice.

She giggled and linked her arm with his as they made their way to the car. When he opened the passenger's door for her, she gave him a quick peck on the lips and then got into the car.

She giggled a little louder when she saw him make his way over to the other side of the car with a goofy grin on his face.

XXXXX

When they arrived at Buffy's house, Spike was ever the gentleman, he opened the door for her and escorted her to her doorstep. Once there he turned her around and looked her straight in the eyes. When she didn't shy away from him, he smiled.

Keeping his eyes focused on her he brought his right hand up to her cheek and slowly caressed it. Letting his eyes travel to her mouth, so she knew what his next step was going to be, he slowly leaned in and kissed her.

His lips met her softer ones as they danced lightly over each other, feeling like whispers in the wind. Clearly not satisfied, he felt her press her lips more fully against his own and he opened his mouth slightly to suck her lower lip into his mouth. He heard her moan at the notion and couldn't help but smile against her lips.

As the kiss deepend, he held her tighter around the waist and let his hands trail over her back. Ever so slowly he lifted her jacket and blouse so he could slip his hand underneath to stroke the soft skin of her back. He could feel her shiver under his touch.

He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. He was still slowly caressing her back with his hand as they stood there for a few moments.

"I better be going luv, as we want to take things easy. And if I continue standing here, with you in my arms... I'm not sure if I can stay the gentleman I would like to be," he said in a soft voice. He pulled fully away and gave her a kiss on her forehead.

"I'll talk to you soon, luv."

He walked back to his car, and turned when he opened his door. He gave a last wave and got into his car. Collecting himself for a minute he put the keys in the ignition. Looking down at himself he sighed. Definitely time for a cold shower.

XXXXX

Buffy picked up her phone and dialed Willow's number. She heard Willow answer the phone using her best secretary voice.

"Hello? This is Willow speaking. How may I help you?"

"Hello. Willow is it? I am looking for my once best friend who lives at the address attached to this phonenumber. Do you know if she's available?" Buffy asked in the same tone of voice.

Willow laughed. "Hey Buffy. I was wondering when you would call. How did things go?"

"Oh Willow," Buffy began and proceeded to fill her best friend in on her date.

"Oh, that sounds great, Buffy. Now skip all that and tell me about the smoochies," she said in a serious but teasing voice.

"Willow! Is that all you care about? Me getting smoochies?" Buffy acted as if hurt deeply.

"Hee, best friend here. I want you to be happy and to get lots of smoochies. Amongst other things..." Willow said suggestively.

Deciding to ignore the last comment Buffy couldn't help but grin from ear-to-ear before replying. "He's the best kisser in the world, Willow. He makes my toes curls, the hair on the back of my neck stand up, and all I can do to stay standing is grab onto to his wonderful arms."

She paused and took a deep breath before continuing.

"I don't know what's happening with me, Willow, but I feel like I've known him for ages, and that I'm drowning in him. He's got this power over me that I can't describe. And honestly, it's scaring me a little."

"Buffy, you know this will take time. But it sounds to me like you're really falling for him. Being scared is only a normal reaction. It would be abnormal if you weren't. So don't worry about it ok? Just enjoy the feeling for now, and you know Spike won't force you into doing anything."

"I better get going now though, Tara is calling for me."

"Alright Willow, tell Tara I'll see her tomorrow afternoon. Have a good night."

XXXXX

Spike was sitting at his desk, once again surrounded by papers when Giles walked in.

"Spike, what are you doing?" he asked his friend looking around the small office.

"Honestly, how can you work like this? This place is a mess!" Giles said gesturing to the piles of paper all over the place.

"Leave me alone if you have nothing nice to say..." Spike grumbled.

Chuckling softly Giles sat down in the chair in front of Spike's desk, which was miraculously not piled with papers. Studying the man in front of him, Giles shook his head, and started reading some of the papers within reach.

They were all plans, and financial figures for expanding the place. New ideas were scribbled down with numbers behind them, and even small drawings of what his ideas would look like.

"Spike, wouldn't it be wise to get someone to help you out with this place? It looks like you're working yourself to death here," he told his seriously.

He looked up from his work and ran his hands through his hair, which was already a mess.

"I suppose…" He sighed. "I just have some great ideas for this place, but it leaves me with too little time to actually do the administration for the actual business. And I really don't have time to interview people."

"Well, I may know someone who could take over the administration for the pub, so you can focus on your new ideas," he said smiling.

"Oh yeah? And who might that be?" Spike asked raising his eyebrow and lifting a bottle of water to his mouth.

"Buffy," Giles said simply.

Spike almost spew out his sip of water as he heard Giles' answer.

"Don't look at me like that. You know she's not happy with her current job, and I know for a fact that she wants to find something else. Now why not take the chance to get her to work here with you. Don't tell me you don't think the idea is tempting," He said, grinning.

"I almost feel like I'm being set up here," Spike grumbled again. "Besides, Buffy and I decided to take things slow. I don't want to pressure her more than necessary."

"Spike, in all fairness, I think this would be a great idea. You're both adults, and very serious when it comes to work. And it's not like you'll see each other every minute of the day looking at what you've got planned here. You'll be out most of the time, or even too busy to get distracted by your girl."

Spike looked at him thoughtfully.

"I don't know what it is about you Rupert Giles. But you're a man to my heart. Now let's go get something to drink. I definitely need it after all this serious talk."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Propositions

**Chapter 12: Propositions**

Walking into Tara's office, Buffy had a huge smile on her face.

"Well, don't you look like you just won the lucky million," Tara said, meeting Buffy's smile with her own.

"I can't help but it, Tara. It's all I've been doing since I got home yesterday."

"It was that good, huh?"

"Oh, it was wonderful. But I'm sure you've talked to Willow about it."

"She did mention something, but we're here to talk about you, so you better start telling it all again." Tara winked.

Buffy sat back on the couch; she wasn't sure where to start so she just started talking. "Have you ever felt so overwhelmed about something because all you can feel is the comfort and safety of a person and you don't understand how that is possible?" she asked Tara frowning a little.

"Yes, it's what happened when I met Willow. Especially since it was my first lesbian relationship, and I hadn't anticipated that it would happen."

"It's scaring me," Buffy said truthfully. "But at the same time all I want to do is be near him. Does that make sense at all?"

Tara laughed. "Oh Buffy, that is perfectly normal. I know you spoke to Willow yesterday as well about this, and she told you it's only normal to be afraid, especially since you're in a situation you've never been in before. Though I think you're doing great. The only advice I can give you is, let it all happen."

Buffy smiled at her and knew she had to do just that.

"There's only one thing I've been wondering about," Tara said quietly which made Buffy look up alarmed.

"How old is Spike?"

Buffy couldn't help but laugh at that. She'd expected a serious and important question, which turned out to be just Tara's curiosity about her boyfriend. Oh, she liked the sound of that. Boyfriend.

"He's 32."

"Wow, definitely looking good for his age."

"I know," said Buffy grinning.

XXXXX

It had been a week since their date. They'd spoken on the phone every day, but had been too busy to see each other. Buffy couldn't wait to go to the pub, and was tapping her foot anxiously and was waiting for Tara and Willow to pick her up since they all had decided to go together.

Hearing a car pull into the driveway, she grabbed her purse from the hallway table and was already halfway down the path to the car when Willow opened the door.

"Someone's eager," Willow said teasingly.

Buffy stuck her tongue out at her friend and got into the car without saying a word.

They walked into the pub 15 minutes later. It didn't take long for them to spot Xander and Cordelia who were meeting them there. They were sitting at a table nurturing their drinks.

"Hey guys! How are you doing tonight?" Buffy asked.

"Hey Buffster, give us a hug. It's been way too long," Xander said, standing up.

Buffy smiled and went over to him, hugging him tightly. After letting him go, she took off her jacket and hung it over a barstool.

"I'll be right back," she said and walked off towards the bar.

"I was wondering when she would tear off. I'm surprised she even stopped to say 'hello' to you guys," Willow said, grinning.

Xander looked at her questioningly.

"What am I missing?"

"Oh, just Buffy and her new boyfriend," Willow said, almost bursting out laughing seeing the incredulous look on Xander's face.

Cordelia didn't look all that surprised. "It's about time that girl got it on." Xander gawked at her as if she'd gone crazy.

XXXXX

Spike's attention had been only partially focused on serving drinks. The majority of it was aimed at the door, willing Buffy to walk through it. He knew she'd come tonight, and he couldn't wait to take her into his arms and kiss her senseless. He'd become addicted to her kisses. They were so sweet and soft. He knew she was there before he saw her and he had to restrain himself not to run up to her and do just that.

He lost her in the crowd as she made her way over to her friends. Berating himself for being such a git he went back to work, knowing she'd come looking for him when she was ready.

And not five minutes later she was standing in front of him.

"Hi," she said, smiling brightly at him.

He did the only thing he could do. He smashed his lips to hers in a searing kiss. When he heard several catcalls aimed in their directions, he pulled back and saw that Buffy was blushing furiously.

"I'm sorry, luv. I couldn't help myself. The moment I saw you walk into the pub, that's all I wanted to do."

"It's ok," she murmured. "You better get back to your customers, they're getting impatient."

"They can wait. You're way more important to me than they are at the moment," he said loud enough for those around them to hear.

A few 'Hey!'s were thrown his way, and he smirked down at her.

Giving her a quick peck on the lips he pulled back and said softly, "I'll talk to you later."

He watched her walk away for as long as he could before, and then turning, he went back to work.

XXXXX

She could tell by the expression on her friends' faces that they had seen the not so secret kiss she and Spike had just shared. Trying to be nonchalant, she walked back to the table and sat down on her chair. Unfortunately, the act wasn't really working. The gazes she got, the one from Xander in particular, started making her feel very self-conscious.

"Is there something we should know Buffy?" he asked in a tone that suggested he was clearly beyond surprised.

"What would there be to know?"

"Well, how about you just kissed a guy in public? A bartender!" He was on the verge of shouting at her.

Buffy noticed that the people around them were beginning to stare. Her face flushed with embarrassment. "Thanks Xander, for being such a great friend and supporting me." She stood up abruptly and ran to the ladies room.

Taking a few deep breaths, and trying to suppress the tears that were threatening to spill she dampened her face with some cold water.

"Buffy, are you ok?"

Buffy turned around and saw Willow standing in front of her.

"I'm sorry about Xander, Buffy. It was unfair of him to react the way he did. And believe me he's getting the riot act from Cordelia right now and you know how that will end," Willow said softly.

Buffy gave her a weak smile. "I just can't believe he said that, Willow. That really hurt. Like he can't be happy that I've finally found someone that I like and want to be with."

"He's just jealous," Willow said.

Buffy gave her a funny look.

"Honestly Buffy, you know how he's always had a crush on you. He just can't stand it that some other guy got through to you."

"But that was years ago. He's been in relationship since then. Why would he still be jealous?"

"I don't think he ever really got over your dismissal. Just ignore him for now. He's obviously being an ass. Now let's go, we came here to have some fun, and that's what we're going to do." She took Buffy's hand and guided her out of the restroom.

When back at their table, they found a sulking and embarrassed looking Xander sitting with his head down. Buffy sat in her chair and took a sip from her drink. When she felt Xander looking at her, she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry for what I said. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt your feelings," he said quietly.

"It's fine, Xander. Just forget it," she told him.

Her gaze went beyond Xander and that's when saw Spike looking at her with a concerned look on his face. She gave him a small smile and he cocked his head in question. Nodding her head slightly that things were ok, she went back to her drink. They would talk later.

XXXXX

The night continued without any other embarrassing events. Buffy and Cordelia had some fun on the dance floor, and the rest had watched from afar.

When it was time to go, Buffy made her way over to Spike to let him know she was leaving. He was talking to some customers and after seeing her, he quickly said his goodbyes to them as he took her hand and led her up the stairs.

"Are you ok? You looked pretty distressed earlier tonight," he asked stroking her arm.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I had a bit of a disagreement with Xander." Seeing the questioning look on his face she sighed and knew she better tell him. "He just made a big scene about our kiss, is all."

"What business is it of his?" he asked angrily. "If he ever does something like this again, I want you to tell me. Because I will have a serious chat with him. I don't want him making you uncomfortable because he can't keep his mouth shut."

"It's ok, Spike. He said he was sorry. It doesn't mean I forgive him for what he said, but we're ok for now so don't worry about it."

Spike sighed and pulled her to him.

"I'm sorry. I won't make it harder on you. And I suppose it's time for you to go home. I will talk to you tomorrow and we can go for a drink ok?" he asked nuzzling her face.

She gave him a smile and pressed her lips softly to his. The kiss started out gentle, but soon turned into a more passionate kiss where tongues glided against each other and soft moans were escaping from both of them.

He pulled back and gave her one last peck on the nose and escorted her out of the club.

Buffy didn't know that it wasn't the kiss Spike was now thinking about. It was the fact that he was going to keep a lookout for Xander. If that boy was trouble, he would take care of it. He didn't want to deal with any kind of competition.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Discover my body

**Chapter 13: Discover my body**

Spike walked around in his house making sure everything looked ok. After having spoken to Buffy earlier, they'd decided to rent a video and have a night in. Well, it had actually been a smooth way to get her into his apartment to so she could have a look around. They'd never been to each other's houses, all their meetings had been on neutral ground.

Taking some wine glasses out of the cabinet, he sat them down on the lounge table and went to get the wine. He was in the kitchen opening the bottle when the doorbell rang. Walking to the door with the bottle in his hand, he opened the door and was greeted by a nervous looking Buffy.

"Hi," she said not quite meeting his eyes.

"Hi luv, come on in. Let me put this bottle away so I can take your coat," he replied with what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

Coming back into the hallway a moment later, he found her standing in the same spot he left her in. The only thing that had changed was her jacket was now draped over her arm. He took it from her and hung it up in the wardrobe.

Once that was taken care of, he took her hand and drew her to him. He could sense her anxiousness. Being in someone's home was a lot different than being in a pub. There was no escape here. Not that there was any reason for her to escape.

Draping his arms around her waist, he held her to him for a moment. "I'm glad you're here, kitten. I've got everything ready for a movie, but I would really like to show you the rest of my apartment."

When she looked into his eyes, he couldn't help but lean forward and brush his lips against hers. Before taking her hand and guiding her further into the apartment, he kissed her sweetly and then ran his nose over hers, giving her one last peck.

He showed her the main rooms in the house starting with the kitchen. He gave her the grand tour. He purposely avoided his bedroom, not wanting to scare her off. He guided her back into the living room and pulled her down beside him on the couch. He filled their glasses with wine and handed one to her.

"To a nice evening for just the two of us," he toasted and she agreed.

He had picked out several movies they could watch, starting off with a romantic comedy he knew she would like. Being as prepared as possible he'd even gotten a box of tissues in case they were needed.

The movie started and he pulled her closer to him, putting his arm around her shoulder. He felt her tense up a little bit at first, but it wasn't long before she relaxed and even put her hand on his leg.

After watching the first movie and drinking two glasses of wine, he went into the kitchen to get more snacks. After putting on the second movie, he sat down again and this time it was Buffy who took the initiative to snuggle closer to him. She was clearly getting more relaxed as the night wore on. He suspected the wine had something to do with it.

"Are you comfortable kitten?" he asked her gently.

"Hmm, very much so. You're a good snuggle bunny," she replied lazily, laying her head on his shoulder.

He smiled and gave her a kiss on her forehead before pressing the play button.

It was halfway through the movie when he noticed she had fallen asleep on him. He couldn't help but feel his heart swell with love. This girl had crept in so quickly; he couldn't imagine? a life without her. He was grateful that she was starting to warm up to him. She wasn't as anxious anymore, she felt comfortable enough to let him touch her, kiss her and hold her like he did now.

Not really enjoying the movie anyway he shut down the TV and manoeuvred them so they were both lying on the couch. Him on his back, and Buffy on her side, one arm sprawled around his chest. She unconsciously snuggled closer to him in her sleep and buried her face in his neck.

With a content sigh, Spike let sleep wash over him, never having felt this kind of peace with a woman before.

XXXXX

She must have fallen asleep during the movie; because when she opened her eyes everything was dark. Confusion washed over her, because she thought Spike would have at least woken her up, or put her in his guestroom.

It wasn't until then that she realized she wasn't sleeping on the couch alone, and felt herself blushing. She was practically lying in top of him, her leg over his and her hand holding on to his t-shirt.

Looking up she saw that he was still sleeping, a content smile on his face. He looked beautiful. Not being able to stop herself she raised her hand and softly stroked his cheek. His eyelids started to flutter and she was greeted with a pair of crystal blue eyes a few moments later.

She saw a look of confusion run over his face, but confusion was quickly replaced with a tender smile. She put her hand on his cheek again, this time guiding his face closer towards her, so she could brush her lips against his soft ones. Giving him open mouth kisses, but not yet letting her tongue come out to play, she toyed with his lips. When she felt the need to feel more of him, she slowly pushed her tongue against his lips, and was granted access when he opened his mouth and met her tongue with his own.

The kiss was gentle, unhurried and relaxed.

When she felt his hand settle on her waist just below her shirt, her heart began to beat faster. Butterflies were swirling around in her stomach. His touch was starting to drive her a little wild.

Her own hand travelled to the back of his neck to play with the curls there. She pulled his mouth a little closer to hers and deepened the kiss.

He was making slow patterns on her back, his fingertips hovering over her soft skin. She felt his fingers travel up and down until his hand made its way towards her stomach which he softly caressed again.

She was getting lost in the sensations that he was creating in her. She grew bolder by his actions as well. Though still hesitant, she put her hand on his chest and started moving it around in little circles, her fingertips putting on a little more pressure.

They were both panting heavily when they drew from the kiss, putting their foreheads together.

His hand travelled further upwards and he slowly caressed the underside of her breast which made her gasp. No one had done that before and she wasn't expecting it.

"Spike…" she whispered softly looking into his eyes.

"Shh kitten, it's ok. Tell me if you want me to stop," he said softly.

"No, it's okay."

He cupped her breast, trailing his thumb over her nipple, which instantly grew hard.

She moaned and opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. He claimed her mouth again as he continued kneading her breast. She was amazed at how hypersensitive her body had become. So much so, she barely noticed that his hand had gone behind her back and had expertly unclasped her bra.

He unbuttoned her blouse and removed her bra strap from one arm which granted him easier access. He began to explore even more which elicited more uncontrollable moans from her.

In the mean time she had undone some of his buttons and was moving her hand over his chest, every now and then, she grazed a nipple with her fingernail. She could hear him moan into her mouth every time she did that and feminine pride washed over her. She was happy she could make him feel good too.

"Oh God, Spike!" she moaned suddenly, finally able to find words. He had taken her breast into his mouth and suckled softly on her nipple. She felt the sensations go straight to her stomach and she had to clasp her legs together.

As he lifted his head again to look into her eyes, she reclaimed his lips with her own.

She was surprised when he suddenly pulled away.

"Let me take you to the guest bedroom ok? We better get some sleep," he said, getting up from the couch.

She gave him a shy smile, knowing her face was flushed. She might have been inexperienced, but she thought she knew why he stopped and part of her was grateful that he had.

She took his outstretched hand and he led her to 'her' room where he left her with a kiss on the lips and told her goodnight.

She laid down on the bed, and was asleep within minutes, a beautiful smile graced her face.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Unintended Surprises

Chapter 14: Unintended Surprises

Buffy walked into the Sunnydale café for a cup of coffee. She was on her break, and even though she could get coffee at work, she needed to get out of that building. Lilah had been going on and on about work, and all the things Buffy still needed to do. She had almost screamed at Lilah to just shove it up her ass, which was indication enough that she needed to get out of there, soon.

Getting her coffee, she looked for a free table, sat down and then sighed. This was getting ridiculous really. One more day like this and she would run out of that building screaming.

So lost in thought, she didn't see the man that sat down in front of her. Not until he spoke to her in his familiar British accent.

"Hello, Buffy. You seem to be lost in thought," Giles asked.

"Hey, Giles. Sorry I didn't see you there. Shouldn't you be at the school? It's the middle of the day." She was glad to see a friendly face.

"I'm on a break. The kids got sent home because the basement got flooded and the fire department had the building evacuated."

She giggled to this.

"It's your lucky day then! In a matter-of-speaking kind of way. That's more than I can say." She sighed.

"What's wrong? Your mom's ok, isn't she?" he asked, concern etched on his face.

"No! Mom's fine. I'm just thinking of changing jobs."

He smiled at her bad news. "Spike asked you then?"

"Spike asked me what?"

"To work for him at the pub?"

"Giles, what are you talking about?" she asked, getting more confused by the moment.

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I thought he asked you, and you just weren't sure it was such a good idea." He sighed heavily. "Spike wants you to work for him at the pub, so he can continue working on his plans for expansion."

Her jaw just about hit the table. She wasn't sure she was hearing correctly. Spike wanted her to work for him? He'd talked about it with other people. Involving her in his plans? Not asking her? Did he just assume she would do it?

"Buffy, maybe you should go talk to him. I didn't mean to tell you, I just assumed you knew since you told me you are thinking of changing jobs."

She picked up her bag and her coffee. "Thanks Giles, I think I will do that right now."

XXXXX

Spike was standing behind the bar, ensuring that everything was in order for tonight, when he heard the backdoor opening.

"Were you even going to ask me yourself?" Buffy asked him straight on.

"Buffy? What are you talking about? Are you ok?" He was confused and a bit concerned by her tone.

"I ran into Giles at the coffee shop and he tells me that you have decided that I should work for you so you can plan out your dreams for your little pub. Were you even going to ask me, or did you just assume I would do it? 'Buffy'll do it, I finally got to let her go a bit, she won't mind'. Well guess what Spike, I do mind. No one tells me what to do."

By the end of her speech she was red in the face from anger and breathing heavily.

Spike walked up to her cautiously, not wanting to upset her more. "Buffy no, I didn't just assume you would do it. It was Giles's idea to ask you if you might want the job. I didn't even want to find someone in the first place because it would take too much time to find the right person. He said he knew someone suitable for the job and gave me your name. I just hadn't figured out yet how to ask you."

He saw Buffy's face change from anger to shame for her outburst.

"Oh…" was all she could come up with.

Spike chuckled at that. "You are one hell of a woman, you know that? It's good to find out that you're as headstrong as me. You don't take it too easily when people decide for you. Come here baby," he said and opened his arms for her.

She walked into his embrace and buried her head in his chest. He held her there for a few moments before pulling back and giving her a soft kiss on her lips.

"So will you?" he asked.

"Will I what? Oh! That. What would the job entail? And won't it be awkward if I came to work for you, when we're in a relationship?" she asked, blushing as she said relationship.

"I don't think it would be a problem, unless you think you can't keep your hands off of my tight hot body." He wiggled his eyebrows which made her giggle.

"And I won't be around too much once I get to work on the plans for expansion. You will be in full charge of the pub, the administration and hiring of new people. I will still be the one to decide on things in the end. For now at least." He explained her. "So will you?" he asked again.

She reached up and planted another kiss on his lips. "When do I start?" she asked laughing.

He swirled her around hearing her answer. "As soon as you can, baby." He told her grinning madly.

"Well, I better get back to work now, before all hell breaks loose. I will see you later," she said.

And with one last kiss she left him standing in the middle of his pub with a huge smile on his face.

XXXXX

"Willow, are you in here?" Buffy was practically shouting through the Magic Shop.

Willow worked in the Sunnydale Magic Shop as a sales person. At least that had been the job title when she'd applied for it. After having worked there for two 2 years, while going to college and studying business management, and two years full time after college, the owner of the shop had decided to move back to his homeland and left Willow in charge.

"Buffy hi, what are you doing here?" Willow asked her friend as she came out of the backroom.

Not giving Willow a chance to say anything more she ran over to her friend and enveloped her in a tight hug.

"Buffy, help, oxygen becoming an issue," Willow squeaked out.

"Oh, I'm sorry Will. I'm just so excited! I've got a new job!" she squealed.

She looked up at her surprised. "When did that happen? I'm so excited for you!"

Buffy told her what had happened, leaving out the part where she and Spike had argued just a little bit.

"Have you told Lilah yet?" Willow asked.

Buffy wrinkled up her nose by the thought alone. "No, I suppose I better do it officially. Write out my resignation and hand it to her." Her eyes grew wide. "Come to think of it, I better do it right now. I just had to tell you before I went back to work. I was too excited to go back to the stressful situation there."

They said their goodbyes, agreeing they'd call each other later that day.

When Buffy got back to her desk, new piles of papers were stacked there to be organised. She heaved a sigh and put the papers on the ground so she'd have some desk space to work on. Deciding it would be better to first write her letter and get it over with; she sat down behind her PC.

Printing her letter 15 minutes later, having re-read it several times, she was about to walk to Lilah's office when she bumped right into said woman.

"Oh Buffy, it's good that I see you, I've got some extra work for you," Lilah started talking right away.

"Lilah, I actually wanted to talk to you." Buffy tried getting in a word or two in but was blatantly unsuccessful because Lilah continued without even noticing Buffy had spoken.

"I put papers on your desk that need immediate attention, as well as some other things that need to be typed out by the end of the week."

"Lilah…" Buffy tried again.

"Ok, that's it, now get to work," Lilah said, turning around to walk away.

"Lilah!" she almost screamed exasperated.

She turned toward Buffy again with a raised eyebrow in question.

Buffy sighed. "I've got my letter of resignation here. I'm quitting."

Lilah took the paper that Buffy presented to her and then looked back up at Buffy with an astounded look on her face.

Buffy felt herself get uncomfortable under Lilah's stare, feeling the need to say something. "It's not that I don't like it here." She lied. "But I've been offered a different job which I couldn't refuse. I'm sorry. I'll leave be leaving within a week if that's possible."

"It's fine Buffy, I didn't expect you to stay here forever. I accept your notice," she said with a slight smile.

Buffy thanked her, and went back to work.

When she'd finished off her paper work she called Spike to tell him Lilah had accepted her leaving. Buffy would come to the pub later that night to have a drink to celebrate her new job.

She couldn't wait to see him again.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Body Talking

**Chapter 15: Body Talking**

Buffy headed up the stairs to Spike's office slowly, she didn't want to alert him of her arrival. She walked into the office without making a sound. He was so focussed on his work that he didn't hear her until she was two steps away from his desk. He looked up with a slightly confused look. When he saw it was her, he smiled and that told her enough to know he was extremely happy to see her.

She closed the rest of the distance between them and Spike pulled her into his lap not wasting any time and gave her a passionate kiss.

"Hello there, kitten. I didn't hear you come in," he said after breaking the kiss.

"I noticed you didn't. You are always too busy with work to notice me," she said with a teasing pout.

He growled at her and pulled her lips into his mouth. "You little minx, I always have time for you."

She looked at the papers on the desk. "Anything I would need to look at?" she asked with a grin.

Spike chuckled at that and gave her a squeeze swirling his chair towards the desk. "You haven't even started and you're already talking business. Now who's the one busy with work huh!" he teased tickling her in the sides.

Buffy squirmed in his lap trying to get away, but Spike held her tight.

She stilled her motions as he stopped tickling her, noticing the change in her demeanour as she blushed slightly. She assumed the bulge she was now feeling had something to do with it.

She couldn't help but shift a little bit to try and get more comfortable in his lap, and felt the bulge grow even bigger, as she heard Spike gasp. She stilled again and didn't know what to do. She was too comfortable sitting on his lap, but she didn't want him to be uncomfortable for her sake. She tried to get up, but he held her tighter to him, stopping her actions.

"Don't, Buffy."

"But..."

"Don't worry about it sweetheart. It happens, automatically really. It's what you do to me. But please don't be afraid."

Spike looked at her, and she could see the slight concern in his eyes. The thing was, she wasn't scared. She was intrigued that she could do this to him. And quite frankly, she was really curious about it too.

"I'm not… afraid," she said looking down, blushing profusely when she saw the full form of his crotch.

She looked back into his eyes and knew he had seen her looking there.

"Does it hurt?" she asked nervously, feeling stupid for asking and looked away again.

"No baby, it feels good," Spike told her gently putting his finger on her chin as he turned her face towards him.

"But isn't it uncomfortable?" she asked curiously.

Spike couldn't help but chuckle. "That is it a bit. But it's not important. We're taking our time, Buffy. Now give us another kiss. You can see that as your payment," he told her grinning.

Buffy giggled at that, feeling herself relax again and complied with his wishes.

XXXXX

Buffy and Cordy were dancing like there was no tomorrow. Tonight was a night to celebrate.

Buffy had called her friends and told them to meet her at the pub because she had something important to tell them. Afterwards, she'd called her mother, with whom she'd been on the phone for over an hour. Joyce had been almost as excited as Buffy when she was told the news.

Going back at their table after a few dances Buffy sat down and grabbed her drink.

"So guys, I have something important to tell you," she said, smiling at her group of friends who were looking at her expectantly. She stayed silent for a few moments and saw the agitation on some of the faces.

"Come on Buffy, spill," Cordelia said at last.

"I got a new job!" she almost squealed.

Everyone was thrilled to hear the news. Hugs were exchanged and congratulations were said.

"So what's the new job?" Xander asked curiously.

"Well, you're standing there, right now, actually," she said with a brilliant smile. "I'll be responsible for 'Little London', doing administrative work and hiring new people. And probably some other stuff once I've got the hang of things. Spike's got plans for expanding and he asked me to work for him so he can focus on further development of this place."

She could tell everyone was excited for her. But when she looked at Xander, she saw the same look on his face he'd had before, when he'd called her off for kissing Spike in front of everybody.

"I hope you can be happy for me, Xander," she said, softly so no one else would hear. She really didn't want another scene. This was her celebration and she would be damned to let Xander's jealousy get in the way. "And if you can't make yourself do so, I will have to ask you to leave now, because really Xander, I want this job. This is something that can make me happy, that is already making me happy. And if you can't get past the fact that Spike and I are together, and that I'll be working for him, I'm really sorry. But I won't let you get in my way to happiness."

She knew she was being harsh. But damn, he could be such an ass sometimes. And she just wanted to make sure that he knew what she thought.

"Now, let's celebrate." she told everyone, avoiding his glare.

XXXXX

Later that evening, Buffy and her friends were once again on the dance floor, Spike watched as Xander made his way over to the bar.

"I hope you can be happy for her," Spike addressed him without a smile.

"Like I have any say in this anyway. She seems to think it's a good decision, even if I think she's making the biggest mistake of her life," he replied evenly.

Spike couldn't believe this guy. He was supposed to be Buffy's friend but all he could do was be negative about her choices.

"You better start acting like a friend and stop this stupid jealousy of yours. She's not going to let you treat her like that. If you want to stay her friend, you better get yourself together and make peace with her," he said getting angrier by the minute. "And if you do anything to hurt her, to even make her rethink her decisions; you'll have me to deal with. And trust me, you don't want that," he threatened and then walked away.

Before he had taken two steps, he heard Xander call his name and turned around.

XXXXX

Buffy heard a loud commotion and looked up to see what it all was about. That's when she saw Spike behind the bar, covered in beer. She saw Xander standing next to him, with an empty beer glass, both looked extremely pissed off.

She stormed towards the bar, fuming because of Xander's behavior. "What the hell do you think you're doing huh?" she shouted.

Xander's face was one of disgust. "I can't believe you, Buffy. How could you lower yourself to this? You have so much more potential than to be with someone like him."

Buffy couldn't believe her ears. "What did you say?" she asked

indigently.

Xander just shrugged.

"What the hell gives you the right to say that? You don't even KNOW him, let alone are you able to judge my decision. I don't know what's wrong with you, but I just found out that I don't know you at all," She said, beyond angry.

"I think you better go now, and don't come near me for a while," she said, turning her back on him and looking at Spike.

His shirt was completely soaked through with beer, and it was sticking to his chest like a second skin. If the situation hadn't been different she'd have thought that he looked damn hot.

"Are you ok?" she asked quietly.

"I'll be fine, luv. I'm just going to dry myself off and get changed," he said, motioning to one of the other bartenders that he would be back soon.

He walked up the stairs to his office with Buffy behind him.

"I'm really sorry, Spike," she whispered, feeling humiliated by her 'former' friend.

"It's ok, luv. This isn't your fault. I should be the one who's saying sorry, you just lost a friend," he replied gently while taking off his shirt.

Buffy looked at his perfectly shaped upper body, slightly glistering from the beer. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. She realized that this was the first time she'd seen him without his shirt and he looked damn good.

"Buffy?"

She looked up at him and saw him smiling at her with a glint in his eye. He'd seen her watching him and he was smirking at her. "Like something you see baby?" he asked her teasingly.

She blushed and swatted him playfully on his arm. "You better clean up before you catch a cold."

As he was cleaning himself up, she thought about the evening. It had started off well, everyone was happy for her, and Xander had kept his mouth shut for awhile. But apparently when he'd gone to the bar and encountered Spike he couldn't help but open it.

Spike must have seen the sad look on her face as she was pulled against his hard body. "It'll be ok baby. Let's go down stairs and have another drink. This was a night to celebrate, right? So let this not spoil the evening." He kissed her on the lips lightly and took her hand in his own, walking her down stairs towards her friends.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Curiosity

**Chapter 16: Curiosity**

"I think I'm ready Tara." Buffy said softly, feeling slightly nervous.

"Ready for what exactly?" Tara asked.

Buffy gave her a pointed look, to say 'don't play dumb with me' but realised it was just a way to goad her into saying it out loud. It was so safe to keep it vague, and talk around it, instead of getting straight to the point.

"I'm ready to take the next step in my relationship."

She saw Tara looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

"You mean, you think you are ready to be physical with Spike? Tara asked her gently.

Buffy blushed as she remembered the night she'd spent at Spike's apartment and nodded her head.

"Buffy, only you can decide if you're ready or not. From what you've told me, Spike has never forced you into anything. Don't feel obligated to do something because you've been seeing each other for a few weeks."

Buffy looked at Tara with thoughtful eyes. She didn't feel pushed in any way, it's something she wanted herself.

"I would like to talk to you about something else." Tara said to get away from the current subject knowing she'd ask more about it later, which made Buffy look up at her with a questioning gaze.

"I would like to talk about your father." Tara said gently.

The moment Tara said it, Buffy's back went rigid. She'd hardly known her father at all, what was there to talk about? He'd left her mom with the weight of raising a child of her own. He wasn't worth spending words on.

"Buffy, it's ok to feel sadness or anger towards him. He may not have been in your life much, but a father is an important part of a girl's life, and you never experienced anything but desertion from your father."

"He's not worth talking about. He left my mom to raise me on her own, not even giving her child support. He's a useless bastard." Buffy said without any emotion in her voice.

Tara nodded her head.

"But I do think this has had an important impact on you, and would be the main reason why you don't trust the men in your life. Think back on the way you reacted towards Xander when he told you what he thought of your relationship. You were furious and reacted quickly." Tara said, and seeing the look on her face quickly continued. "I'm not saying what he did was right Buffy. Xander had no right to judge you, it's none of his business."

Buffy took a big breath. She'd never really thought her father would be the reason why she didn't trust men easily. But it all made sense to her.

"I'm sorry Tara. It's just that when I think of my father I can only think of how he left my mom and me, and never looked back. I think I would like to talk about him some more if that's ok?" Buffy said with a slightly quivering voice.

"Of course Buffy. But we won't talk about him anymore this session. I do want to come back to our subject about Spike though."

Tara saw Buffy's cheeks flush a little and had to smile to herself. Something obviously must have already happened. Buffy wasn't the girl to just jump in bed with someone.

"I have a feeling there's more to it than you're telling me. But that's ok, and you don't have to tell me. All I can say, Buffy, is that only you can feel if you're ready for the next step. So maybe it's a good idea if you invite him to your own home, so you're on familiar grounds."

Buffy looked completely flushed now.

"You must think I'm a loser." She whispered softly.

"What? Buffy no, I admire you for who you are, and that you haven't given yourself to just anybody. And trust me, men are lucky to have you. And I know for certain that Spike feels exactly the same way."

"Now you can tell me all the juicy details during your next appointment." Tara winked at her.

XXXXX

It was the first day of her new job. Her job at 'Little London' to be exact. Spike had told her to come over at 9 so they could start going over the details of the business. She was actually a little nervous about it. She knew Spike wasn't going to be there a lot once she was completely settled with the job, but in the beginning he was going to be around quite a bit.

After her session with Tara a few days before, she'd been thinking a lot about her decision to want to take the relationship a step further. She was scared of course, but her curiosity was getting stronger by the minute. She wanted to know what it was like to be touched, and to touch someone else. She wanted to embrace that feminine power she could have over Spike.

Yeah, she was nervous about going to work alright. But she had to go, and now she was standing in front of her front door with a beating heart, gathering the courage to get on with it and see 'her' man about her job. Taking a deep breath she reached out, opened the door and walked through, over to her car.

Fifteen minutes later she got out of her car and walked over to the back entrance of the pub. Nervously readjusting her coat she opened the door and walked into the pub towards the stairs to go to her new office.

Spike was busy sorting out some papers when she walked in.

"Hi" she said softly to get his attention.

He looked up from his work and gave her a brilliant smile.

"Hi luv, come on in, this is your office now" he said with a wink.

Buffy giggled quietly and put her coat on a vacant chair as she walked further into the room.

"So, where do we start?" she asked walking over to the desk.

"Well, I think it's best we start with the administrative work, and then go over the planning of work schedules for the staff and lastly we'll go over the payments." He said while looking at the desk and the task before him.

"But first, I think it's time for a good morning kiss." He said smirking while pulling her down onto his lap which made Buffy giggle.

Pressing her mouth against his in a soft kiss, she let her lips trail over his, nipping at his soft lips before opening her mouth to deepen the kiss. The kissed for a few moments when they pulled back, panting for air.

"Wow, that was one hell of a good morning kiss." Buffy breathed.

"That it was luv," pressing another kiss to her mouth.

"Maybe we should get started though" she said getting off of his lap. It felt too good to be in his arms, but she knew if she would stay there she wouldn't be able to concentrate on her work. And it would already be hard enough as it was.

"Ok luv, grab another chair and we'll go through all the papers." He said with a sigh.

--

Hours later they'd gone through all the paperwork of the pub and Buffy knew exactly how the place was run, and what she had to do to keep it that way.

Buffy was growing nervous when the work was done.

"Spike?" she asked softly.

"Yeah pet?"

"Do you maybe want to come over to my house tomorrow night?" she asked, her nervousness showing in her voice.

Spike looked up at her, slightly surprised by her request.

"I would love to Buffy."

"Cool" she said with a smile, glad that he accepted.

She saw Spike getting up, ready to leave the office, leaving her to work.

"Will I see you before I go home?" she asked.

"Count on it, pet" he replied giving her a wink, and walking out of 'her' office.

Buffy sat back with a smile on her face. She already loved her new job, and the tasks she had to do. And she'd dared to ask Spike to come over to her house. She felt great and it showed by the smile on her face.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Tonight, the first Night

**Chapter 17: Tonight, the first Night.**

The next day Buffy cleaned her entire apartment. She wanted everything to look perfect for Spike when he came over. Who was she kidding? She was so nervous the only thing she could do to not lose her mind was clean until she dropped.

Now, she was sitting down on the sofa with a glass of wine trying to settle her nerves. She glanced down and shuddered. Her old cleaning clothes full of stains. Spike was supposed to be there in an hour and she still had to get ready.

Putting her glass down, she rushed up the stairs to jump into the shower. Luckily, she knew exactly what she wanted to wear. Willow had taken her out shopping on the previous Saturday and Willow had picked out a pretty blue spaghetti strapped dress that ended just above Buffy's knee.

She let the hot water massage her tense shoulders and she immediately felt part of the tension drain away. She could do this after all. There was nothing to be afraid of. Spike liked her, and he'd always been the perfect gentleman. Nothing to worry bout. Hell, she wanted this for herself.

She felt herself shudder when the thought of how his body felt against her when they kissed. His hard muscles pressed against her breasts, and the feeling of the obvious erection against her butt.

Once she finished her shower and dried off, she put on her matching light blue thong and then her dress. She'd be braless that evening since the style of the dress didn't take wearing one into account, but that was okay, it made her feel sexy and more confident about herself. After applying her make up and styling her hair, she headed back downstairs to finish the last preparations for dinner.

She was cutting the peppers when the doorbell rang. When she opened the door her heart caught in her throat when she saw Spike standing there, with one single red rose in his hand. He looked gorgeous as always, though this time he'd gelled his hair in loose curls on top of his head.

"Hi cutie"

Buffy blushed a soft tint of pink at his seductive tone. "Hi, come in," she said, softly stepping aside to let him in.

She took the rose he offered her and walked back to the kitchen with him trailing behind her. She put the rose in a small vase with some water.

"It's really beautiful," she told him.

"A beautiful rose for a beautiful girl," he whispered in her ear while he took her in his arms and kissed her softly on her lips. As with all their kisses, it started out slow and soft, but soon turned passionate and they were moaning into each other's mouths.

Pulling back to get some oxygen into her system she buried her face into his chest trying to control her hormones. Tonight was the night, she knew, but she first had a dinner planned and she wasn't going to let that get ruined.

She pulled out of his embrace and went to the counter to continue making the dinner.

"I'm glad Paul could take over tonight," She said, trying to make conversation.

"He's a good lad, and knows exactly how to keep things running smoothly when I'm not there. I'm not worried anything will go wrong," he said, sitting down at the kitchen counter.

"That's good to know," she said smiling. She'd met Paul a few times before she'd come to work at the pub, and again on her first day. He'd been very supportive and had offered his help if she'd ever need it. She'd instantly taken a liking to him, and had assured him she'd ask for his help if ever needed.

"So, how have your first two days been so far?" Spike asked while she was chopping the rest of the vegetables. She could feel his eyes fixed on her as if burning her. She knew her dress clung to her body and all her curves. That had been one of the main reasons why she'd bought it. She was sure though by the look in his eyes that he could see he wasn't wearing a bra.

"… so I think it's been going well so far," Buffy replied

"Huh?"

She looked up at him and saw the confused and slightly embarrassed look on his face.

"Spike, did you listen at all to what I was saying?"

"I'm sorry pet, I got a bit distracted. Do you have any idea how sexy you look in that dress?"

Buffy looked at him, face as red as a tomato.

"I'm sorry luv, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. Forget I ever said that."

He got up from his seat and walked out of the kitchen into the living room while running his hands through his hair.

Buffy walked after him and put her hand on his arm.

"Spike, it's ok."

"No Buffy, it wasn't. I know you're not ready for this yet, and I'm bollixing it all up. I'm sorry pet."

Putting her hand on his cheek, she turned his face towards her and softly brushed her lips against his.

"I wanted to tell you something tonight, after dinner…" she started. Even though she had felt the sudden courage to take charge of this situation, she was still nervous as hell.

"What is it pet?" her asked her with a curious look.

"I wanted to tell you that I think I'm ready, for the next step. I wanted tonight to be the first time."

Spike looked at her in awe, speech obviously having abandoned him.

The silence was getting too much and Buffy was already feeling extremely stupid for saying this. "I'm sorry, forget it. I'm stupid, I"

Before she could finish her sentence though, she was being hauled up against Spike's body and felt his lips crush to hers. Taken completely by surprise she felt herself being pushed against a wall. Spike's legs pushed in between hers, and she automatically brought her legs up around his waist.

Buffy gasped for breath while Spike pampered kisses all the way from her jaw line to her neck. Trying to get her brain to function again she softly whispered his name in his ear. She felt one hand knead her bottom while the other one was cupping her breast through her dress. This was not the way she wanted it to go. It was supposed to be soft and exploring, and in a bed for one thing. Not up against a wall.

When he didn't respond to his name she tugged at his hair a bit to get his attention. Breaking away from her, she saw the lust filled look in his eyes, mixed with a look of confusion.

"Spike, we have to stop this. I don't want this to happen against a wall, please," she said quietly, not wanting to give him the idea she was brushing him off.

"I'm sorry, baby," he said, pulling away from her completely. "I just couldn't help it when I heard you say that."

Buffy stood there, clothes in disarray and hair slightly dishevelled. When she looked him in the eye she could still see the awe written in them and a small sign of lust that was still there.

She took his hand and guided him back to the kitchen. "Maybe we should eat something first and then take things slow? Maybe this sounds really stupid and virginal, but I'd like my first time to be in a bed with time to explore."

"It's not stupid luv. And you are right, we should take this slow, and make it memorable. I want to map out your body and know everything single spot that is you."

Buffy blushed at his comment and slowly walked back to the kitchen counter to continue making dinner.

XXXXX

After a nice and quiet dinner they sat back and enjoyed their wine. After the somewhat heated encounter earlier that evening Spike had made sure not to make any comments that would make her feel uncomfortable. The knowledge of what was going to happen was out in the open, and it had made the atmosphere more tense than relaxed.

Spike had reassured her that everything would go the way it was supposed to. She would set the pace and decide how far things would go. She'd smiled gratefully at him.

Right now they'd finished their dinner and had done the dishes. They were sitting on the sofa in a comfortable silence.

Buffy looked his way and saw Spike was already staring at her. She blushed slightly and looked away. Setting her glass down she moved closer to where he was. He immediately wrapped his arms around her and hugged her to him.

Putting her hands on his chest she made slow patterns over his shirt and leant up for a kiss a few moments later. When Spike pulled back, she looked him with a frown marring her face.

"Are you absolutely sure about this Buffy?" he asked in a whisper.

She looked him in his eyes and saw the love and adoration in them.

"Take me to bed Spike"


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: First time for everything

**Chapter 18: First time for everything**

Spike took her hand and guided her toward the bedroom, letting Buffy take the lead, she walked in first.

Spike sat down on the bed and gently pulled her to him. He turned her so she was facing him and he smiled at her. Sensing her nervousness, he drew her close and gave her a soft kiss. She relaxed under his touch. His hand began to slowly make its way from her neck, down her arm, where he began to slowly rub.

She responded to his caresses and she put one hand over his shoulder. He felt her fingers going through the curls on the back of his neck. Her other hand came to rest on his chest where her fingers played with the buttons of his shirt. He welcomed her tongue into his mouth as it played with his own. Exploring each other's depths, he couldn't stop a moan from escaping the back of his throat.

Needing oxygen, they separated. Both of them breathless.

"Teach me what to do," she whispered into his neck.

Spike knew he'd need to guide her through her first real sexual experience. It gave him a good peek into what the night had in store for them both.

"Don't be afraid. If anything makes you uncomfortable, please tell me," he whispered. Once she nodded her agreement, he began to guide his hand along the edge of her dress. His lips once again descended on hers and his hand slipped under her dress. He slowly made his way up her leg, caressing her smooth skin, blazing a path to her stomach. Feeling the slim piece of fabric that made up the thong underwear she wore, made him mentally groan. He reached for the zipper with his other hand.

After unzipping her dress, he let it slip from her shoulders where it pooled around her waist. He took in the vision that awaited him. Firm, small breasts greeted him. Her nipples were already hard little buds asking for attention. He was eager to see the part of her that was still covered up. That's when he noticed her getting uncomfortable. She covered her breasts by folding her arms over it.

"Please, don't hide yourself from me love. You are so beautiful. My beautiful girl," he whispered.

Drawing her arms away from her chest he let his hands trail over her body, cupping her breasts in his hand as if weighing them. He kissed her again then and started a trail down her jaw line towards her neck. He gently pushed her backwards so she was lying down on the bed.

"Lift up for me luv so I can take off your dress."

Complying with his wishes, she did as he asked. Spike removed her dress, leaving her clad in just her lacy thong. Taking her in his arms he gently moved her toward the middle of the bed. He needed to continue his journey of mapping out her body.

It was clear though that she wasn't just going to lie back and let him do his thing, when she started tugging his shirt out of his jeans.

She looked him shyly. "Why should I be the only one naked?"

He gave her a smirk and let her open his shirt and push it down his shoulders. He tugged off his t-shirt he wore underneath it, leaving his chest bare for her view. He let her run her hands up and down his stomach and chest for a few moments and then he pushed her back into the mattress.

His hands roamed over her bare legs as he continued kissing her. He rubbed her upper legs and stomach until he reached her breasts again, cupping them into his hand and kneading them softly.

Spike broke the kiss and started dotting kisses all over her upper chest, making his way to one breast, he sucked the nipple into his mouth until it was a bright red little bud, the other was quick to follow.

"Spike," she moaned, threading her hands through his hair, loosening the curls.

"Cor Buffy, you are so beautiful, my beautiful girl."

He looked up at her then and saw her flushed face and eyes burning with lust. That was new for him. She'd always been careful around him, but this look was full of passion, and it was all because of what he did to her. He felt himself harden further into his already tight jeans and couldn't help but rub himself against her leg. His eyes rolled back into his head when he felt her respond by putting more pressure on his crotch with her leg, and he had to still the motion to get himself under control.

He pulled back from her and sat up straight. Reaching for her thong he started tugging it down, silently asked permission to remove the last piece of clothing that was hiding her center from him. She must have understood his unspoken question, as she lifted her hips so he could relieve her off her thong.

She was now lying in front of him completely bare. Spike couldn't help but sit back and admire her luscious body. When she started to fidget under his heated gaze he gently placed a hand on her stomach and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

"Let me take care of you luv. I promise you I won't do anything you don't want me to." He crawled down her body until his face was level with her neatly shaven pussy. She had her legs closed.

"Open up for me baby, I'm just want to see how beautiful you are down here too." He looked up into her eyes and saw the indecision in them.

"Trust me"

She slowly opened her legs for him so he could settle himself between them. Stroking his hands over her upper thighs in a soothing matter, he started off with trailing small wet kisses. As he inhaled her scent, he could feel her shudder and continued kissing his way up towards her center.

He took in the sight before him. Her womanhood was right there. Pink lips were glistering with her arousal and she gave off a scent that made his head spin. Using both hands to open her outer lips, he slowly ran his tongue from the bottom up towards the little bundle of nerves.

Buffy began to thrash under him, moaning his name. She grabbed a hold of his hair as he sucked her clit. Wanting to give her as much pleasure as could, he gently inserted a long finger into her and brushed it against the very sensitive spot inside her.

"Spike… I'm going to…" she moaned desperately.

"Come for me baby." He felt her body begin to shake and he continued sucking on her clit while she came, fluids were flowing freely from her body and he lapped up every drop.

"Are you ok kitten?" he asked quietly, laying down next to her.

"That was amazing."

He smiled. "It's supposed to be, luv." He kissed her softly. She smiled back at him and kissed him back, running her tongue over his bottom lip.

Her hands glided over the planes of his chest as they kissed, grazing his nipples with her fingernails. When she reached the waistband of his jeans, he felt her hesitate.

"Don't be afraid," he said, tilting her chin toward him so their eyes met.

She smiled and reached down, her hand brushing over the large bulge in his jeans. An uncontrollable moan escaped from his lips.

"I don't know what to do," she said.

"Just touch me, pet. Whatever you want to do."

She unzipped his jeans and reached inside. She played with the curls of his pubic hair and then she popped the last button and began to push the jeans down over his slender hips. He lifted himself up so she could get them all the way off. He wasn't surprised when his cock sprang forward and stood straight from his body.

Her eyes grew wide, and she reached for his glistening member, slowly stroking it with her fingers. He held his breath as she swept her thumb over the wet tip, spreading the precum over her finger. He could've about come right there when she reached out with her tongue and tasted it.

"Oh God, Buffy."

She flushed bright red and cast her eyes downwards.

He tilted her chin up. "You are amazing Buffy. And this may not be the right time to say it, but… I love you." Dipping his head, he sealed his words with a kiss.

Spike saw the tears in her eyes, but relaxed when he heard her say, "I love you too."

He drew her into a hug. His hands rubbing up and down her back, their naked chests pressed together.

"Make love to me Spike."

Spike rolled a condom onto his erect cock and switched positions with her. She was now the one who was lying on the bed. He was hovered over her, slowly dipping his head and kissing her. Running his hands up her body he cupped her breasts.

"This is going to hurt luv, but I promise you it will feel better soon, ok." He guided his cock to her entrance, pushing in only a little bit, he felt her tense and he stopped. "Relax baby"

Pulling out first he slowly pushed back in a little further. He repeated his actions, slowly guiding himself further into her with every thrust until he felt her barrier. Lowering his head to give her a passionate kiss, he buried himself deep within her with a final thrust.

He swallowed the scream that came from her mouth and continued kissing her until he felt her relax under him.

Tears were silently running over her cheeks and he brushed them away with his finger.

"It hurts," she whimpered.

"I'm sorry baby," he whispered hoarsely.

Giving her a few minutes to adjust to him he started moving slightly from left to right. Pulling out of her slowly he pushed back in, repeating his actions ever so gently, until she was writhing under him, moaning his name. She was so wet and warm. Her tight pussy was clamping his cock like no tomorrow and he had to try and hold back not to pound into her like a mad man.

She lifted her legs a bit and he felt her hands stroking his back. "Please Spike," she groaned.

His movements became faster and he guided his hands between their bodies to brush her clit with his thumb.

Buffy was moaning underneath him as he moved within her.

"I love you baby, I love you so much." He gasped as he gave her clit one last pinch which caused her to soar over the edge screaming his name. Spike followed suit as her muscles milked his cock.

When they were coming down from their high he rolled them over, not wanting to crush her. He was still embedded deep inside her and didn't want to leave the warmth of her body. Knowing that he had to get rid of the condom he let his softening member slip from her heat.

"I'll be back baby, I need to get rid of this," he said before giving her a kiss.

When he came back she was waiting for him. He obviously wasn't shy about his nudity as he walked towards her without any hesitation.

He crawled back into the bed with her and took her in his arms, brushing a kiss to her temple.

"Get some sleep luv," he whispered in her ear. Cuddling together they both felt themselves fall into slumber as sleep consumed them.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: What a way to wake

**Chapter 19: What a way to wake**

Buffy woke up wrapped in a pair of muscular arms. She had to blink a few times to recognise the situation and couldn't help but smile when memories from the night before came floating back to her. It had been so amazing.

Spike was still asleep; his beautiful face was graced with a soft smile as if he was thinking exactly the same thing. Her legs were entwined with his and she could feel something hard poke her in her stomach. Curiosity getting the better of her, she reached down and felt his morning erection. She looked up, to see if he was still asleep. The night before she hadn't had a chance to explore more of him after their declarations of love, but now that he was still asleep, she had time to check things out.

Her fingers wrapped around his member and she was surprised by the size of him. He was thick and long, and she wondered how that could have ever fit inside of her. Feeling the soreness of her own sex, she remembered how it had hurt at first. He had stretched her to her limits when he had buried himself deep inside her, but once the pain had lessoned there had been only pleasure.

Stroking his length she was surprised to feel it grown even bigger in her hand. When she looked at his face she saw a frown where his smile had been before. As she swept her thumb over the head of his cock she heard him groan.

"Buffy…" he whispered hoarsely as his eyes started to flutter open.

Feeling rather bold she increased the speed of her strokes and tightened her grip on him.

"Oh god, pet, luv, stop, I'm going to come…" he groaned.

Wanting exactly that to happen she continued her actions and swept over his head a few times until he came. A loud moan filled the room as she felt his cum cover her hands and stomach.

She looked shyly up in his face when he came down.

"I love you so much, he said, and then he covered her mouth in a his. "Let's take a shower luv, to clean ourselves up a bit."

Nodding her approval they climbed out of bed. Buffy was still a bit shy to walk around completely naked, Spike didn't seem to have an issue with it at all. He must have seen her hesitation, because he looked up at her then and reached out his hand.

"Come on luv, no need to feel modest," he said with an encouraging voice.

As she took his hand she was hauled against his body.

"You are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen in my entire life. And I'm pretty sure I'll never see anyone more beautiful than you." He nuzzled her face.

She was led to the bathroom where Spike turned on the facet.

They both stood under the warm stream of water, letting it wash away the first markings of their lovemaking. Buffy reached for the bodywash and squeezed a good amount on her hand, giving the bottle to Spike to do the same.

She put her soap filled hands to his chest, where she began to rub along his pecks and abs. Feeling the muscles ripple under her hands she enjoyed the feeling of his wet skin under her hands.

Spike was giving her the exact same treatment. His hands massaged over her back and front. She felt a wave of arousal go through her body as he massaged her breasts. His hands moved down towards her stomach and her sex.

"Do you have a washcloth, baby?"

She reached behind her and handed him the requested item. She watched as he wetted the cloth and squeezed a large amount of soap on it.

"We have to get you all cleaned up now, don't we?" he smiled at her.

She blushed from his comment, understanding his implications.

As he reached down, she felt him clean her sex thoroughly, removing any coated blood that remained from the night before. When she was clean he removed the washcloth and caressed her with his fingers.

"You're so soft pet. I love feeling your skin under my fingers."

She let her hands travel upwards and wrap around his neck. Pulling him closer to her she pressed her lips to his, goading him into a soft and sensual kiss. Their tongs played their own erotic dance, and both enjoyed the feeling of their naked bodies pressed against each other.

Not wanting this to get out of hand she pulled back and looked into his eyes. "I.. I'm sorry Spike, I'm still a bit sore from last night…" She ducked her head, feeling embarrassed.

"Shh, don't worry about it kitten. We're only getting started. There's plenty of time for more fun later on." He winked at her.

She giggled and turned off the water, handing them both a towel.

"You go get dressed, luv. I'll go make us some breakfast." He kissed her quickly on the lips and disappeared out of the bathroom.

Buffy continued drying herself off and wrapping her hair in a separate towel. Walking into her room she looked over at her bed, and saw the sheets had been taken off by Spike. She felt herself getting warm when she thought of last nights events. She'd finally lost her virginity, and it was to a man she loved.

Getting dressed and doing her hair, she walked into the kitchen 20 minutes later. She stood in the doorway enjoying the view in front of her. Spike stood at the stove with his back to her making what smelled like eggs. His upper body was still bare and she could clearly see the muscles in his back. She couldn't believe that this man was hers, and that he returned her love with equal power.

Walking up behind him she wrapped her arms around him pressing her front against his back, running her hands over the planes of his chest, tickling his nipples. She loved it how they would stand up straight when she let her fingers brush over them.

"Hey you," she whispered pressing a kisses to his back.

She let Spike pull her towards his front and held him tight, now running her hands over his naked back. She couldn't stop touching him!

"Seems like by kitten can't get enough of me. Have I awakened your inner femme fatale my sweet?" He smirked at her.

"Maybe," she answered coyly, squeezing his buttocks. She heard him groan as she did so and laughed when she saw his amazed expression. "But I'm hungry now, for food this time. So what

have you made me, my beautiful slave?"

"I certainly am your slave," he grumbled under his breath which made her giggle and she swatted his backside. "Well it's true. You have yourself a willing slave here."

"That's good to know, now gimme food."

XXXXX

Walking into the espresso pump she searched the different tables for a familiar face. Seeing Willow sitting in the back patiently waiting while nurturing a coffee, she walked over and sat down beside her.

"He Wills, sorry I'm late. Thing's got a bit hectic at the pub. I had to interview some people for waiting jobs and we need an extra bouncer."

"That's ok Buffy. I figured you were busy with your new job," she

said and smiled.

"So, how are things going? As best friend I think I deserve all the

juicy details!"

Buffy grinned at Willow. "The pub is doing great. I love it there and everyone is so helpful. I really feel at home."

"And Spike?"

"What about Spike?" Buffy asked giggling at the facial expression Willow gave her.

"Don't start with me missy. You know what I'm talking about. And since you haven't called me at all I'm thinking things must have gone well for you two."

Buffy sighed and gave Willow a big smile. "It was amazing Willow. Spike is amazing. He was so sweet and caring and he didn't pressure me at all. And…"

"What?"

"He told me he loves me."

Buffy could see Willows eyes grown huge.

"Oh my God, Buffy. That's huge. What did do?"

"Well, I kinda told him I loved him too," Buffy whispered.

Before she knew what was happening she felt herself being pulled into a big hug.

"I'm so happy for you Buffy." Willow whispered in her ear.

"I'm just afraid things might be going too fast. I mean, we've only known each other for a few weeks."

"Well, sometime these things go fast. You can't help how you feel, Buffy. And it's clear to anyone who sees you two together, that there's something special going on. The look in Spike's eyes when he watches you from across the room isn't too hard to read."

"I guess you're right. I shouldn't make such a big deal of things."

"Don't you worry about it too much. Things will work out great." Willow said giving her a reassuring smile. "Trust me."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Get Caught

**Chapter 20: Get Caught**

Buffy was sitting at her desk going through some papers. She'd had a busy day with several more interviews for staff members. They needed more waiting staff and finding a good and trustworthy bouncer had been more difficult than first anticipated.

She sighed and pushed back the papers. A few résumés had been put aside. They belonged to people she wanted to interview later that week, once that was done, she shut off her computer. She knew Spike was around somewhere and went in search for him.

Today the pub was closed, so there were only a few people around. She saw Paul, the head bartender, going through the inventory, which he'd have to report to her later, and a few waitresses were cleaning the tables.

Taking the stairs to the basement she found her man talking into his cell with his back to her. She walked up behind him and took him in her arms, his back still towards her. He must have not heard her before, because she felt him jump slightly at their first contact, but immediately relaxed as she ran her hands over his stomach. He turned around in her embrace and gave her a brilliant smile.

"Alright Orlando, I will get back to you on those last figures. Expect a call from me tomorrow morning so we can continue our discussion," he told the other party on the phone and hung up.

"Hey baby, what are you doing down here?" he asked her.

"My day is thankfully done. I really hope I can find a bouncer soon, because it's taking me longer than expected." She snuggled closer into his embrace. It felt so good to be in his arms.

She looked up into his face and saw him smiling down at her tenderly. She reached up and brushed her lips against his. She could do that all day long. Somehow their night together had fired up her hormones because she couldn't stop thinking about him at all, and what she wanted to do again.

Their kiss turned more passionate and Spike pulled back, clearly trying to take things a bit slower before they got out of hand, Buffy thought, but she didn't want to take things slow. She felt like he'd been pulling back. After their first time, they hadn't had sex anymore, and she was sure he did it to not put pressure on her. She figured he was waiting for her to tell him when she was ready again. But she couldn't take it anymore. She was more than ready and wanted him now.

She pushed him back against a table and plastered herself against him. She devoured his mouth and let her hands run freely over his body.

"Buffy luv, what are you doing?"

She pulled back and looked him, her face flush. "Don't you want me?" she asked timidly.

"Does this feel like I don't want you?" He asked taking her hand and putting it over the bulge in his jeans.

"I just don't want to take advantage of you. And look at where we are? Not the most romantic place to make love, and not to mention the fact we could get caught," he answered gently.

"Trust me Spike, you're not taking advantage of me," she replied rubbing her hand over his crotch. "It's just… ever since our first time you seem to have drawn back a little bit. And I don't know if it's me, not being very experienced. But I just can't stop thinking about it, what you did to me. And…" she blushed furiously, too embarrassed to continue.

"And what love?"

"I feel… aroused all the time when I'm with you," she whispered.

"Oh baby. I know exactly how you feel," he told her and held her tight.

"Then why haven't you tried anything?"

"I didn't want to pressure you. And I didn't know when you were ready again, or if you were still a bit hurt."

"Well, I'm very ready for you Spike." She leaned in for another kiss.

"Buffy, maybe we shouldn't…" but he was cut off by her lips again.

She didn't want to stop, didn't want to think about anything. She wanted her man, and she wanted him now.

She fumbled with his belt and was surprised that she managed to loosen it and open his jeans. He'd turned them around during their kiss and he'd lifted her up on the table. She spread her legs and pulled him in between them by his belt loops. When he was situated in between her legs she reached down into his jeans and felt his very hard cock spring free. It was clear that he was ready for her too.

"Buffy baby, love you so much." He was babbling and she loved it.

His hands were running over her body and she was on fire. As he lifted her skirt (thank god for that decision this morning!) she moved herself up a bit so he could pull it up from under her. She whimpered when he brushed her thong aside and let his fingers travel over her sex and clit.

"God baby, you're so wet. So ready for me."

"I told you I was," she whispered to him and guided his cock to her entrance.

Just as his tip brushed against her sex he pulled back. She looked at him with a confused expression.

"Condom baby. Hold on," he said and reached into his jeans, taking out the small package.

After he put it on he positioned himself at her entrance and pushed in. In one fluid motion he was buried deep within her. They both moaned at the sensation and looked into each other's eyes.

"I love you," she told him without taking her eyes off of him.

He started moving inside with long deep thrusts. She lifted her legs slightly and Spike put his hands under her knees, so he could bury himself deeper within her.

She had her hands behind his neck to keep from falling backwards and leant in for a kiss. As their tongues mated in a sensual kiss Spike's thrust became more powerful. She could feel his balls slap against her bottom as he thrust into her and he was touching a spot inside of her that had her orgasm creep up on her like a whirlwind.

"Spike baby, love you, you feel so good. Love the way you feel inside of me, can't get enough of it."

Neither of them knew where her dirty words came from, but it made them both hot and ready to come.

With one last thrust Spike roared her name and came hard within her. The feel of his cock going off inside of her had Buffy spiralling over the edge.

"Wow… that was amazing." She smiled lazily at him.

Spike smiled at her and pulled out of her, getting rid of the condom. As they organised their clothes he pulled her in for a hug and gave her one last peck on the lips.

"We better get upstairs before people will think we did something naughty down here." He winked at her.

When they arrived upstairs the waitresses had already left, but Paul was still taking some notes at the bar.

"Hey Paul, how are things going over here?" Spike asked.

"Not as good as down there I believe." He said grinning madly at Spike.

Buffy's face turned as red as a tomato.

"Sorry man, I couldn't help but hear that animalistic roar that came out of your mouth." Paul slapped Spike on the back.

"Yeah well, as long as you know the girl's mine, and don't start making her feel uncomfortable all is good with me."

"Don't worry bout it boss. I won't mention it again." He said and gave Buffy a reassuring smile.

"Good, now finish up here so we can all go home." Spike ended the conversation.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Moms know best

**Chapter 21: Moms know best**

Buffy was walking arm in arm with Willow enjoying her free Saturday afternoon. They'd decided to go into town and do some shopping. Due to Buffy's new job and her relationship with Spike, they hadn't been able to do their usual outings which meant they had a lot of catching up to do.

"Have you spoken to Xander lately?" Willow asked her.

"I haven't seen him since the night at the pub when he threw his beer at Spike. Besides, I don't think it's up to me to take the initiative to get in contact."

Willow nodded and was silent for a few moments. "He's really sorry for what happened. I can tell you that Cordelia gave it to him good after he'd left the pub. He's afraid that you don't want to see him."

Buffy sighed. "Look Willow, if he wants to see me, he can come and contact me, he knows where I work. I'm still angry with him, but he's also still my friend. You know I don't appreciate it that he uses you as a messenger. Tell him to come and talk to me if he wants to re-establish our friendship."

"Ok, enough negative talk. What do you say we go for a cup of delicious mocha and hit some more stores before we go home? You said you wanted to go to Victoria's Secret, as a surprise for Spike, huh." Willow winked.

Buffy grumbled under her breath. "I should never have told you that little piece of information."

Willow laughed and steered Buffy towards the 'Espresso Pump'. As they were about to enter they bumped into the person that was just walking out. Buffy lost her balance and disgracefully fell onto her bottom.

"Dear lord, I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there, are you alright?"

Buffy looked up from her spot on the floor and grinned up at the

man.

"Hello there Giles, it's nice to see you too," Buffy said getting up.

"Oh dear, hello Buffy, are you alright?" Giles asked her while taking her hand and helping her get back on her feet.

"I'm fine thanks, a bit overwhelmed by your exit, but fine otherwise. How are you doing?" she answered cheekily.

"Very well. I was just on my way back to the library. How is your mother?"

"Mom's fine. I'm actually going to visit her tomorrow."

"Good good, I heard you work at Little London now?" he inquired.

"Yeah… Spike and I worked some things out about working at the pub so he can work on his other plans."

"I'm very happy for you Buffy. Say hello to your mother now, will you?"

"I will. Bye Giles!"

"Good day Buffy, Willow," he said before walking off.

Both girls went into the coffee shop and found themselves a seat to relax and have a drink. As they sat there nurturing their mochas, they talked more about little things and just enjoyed each other's company.

Just as they finished their drinks and were ready to leave, Buffy saw a familiar man walk up to their table.

"Hey Buffy."

Buffy looked at Willow. Will gave her an encouraging smile and walked away.

"Hi Xander" Buffy replied cautiously.

"Could we sit down for a few minutes?" he asked softly.

Buffy nodded and sat back down. They sat there in silence for a bit.

"Look, if you're not going to say anything then," Buffy said.

"I'm sorry, Buffy," Xander interrupted her.

"I was completely wrong to react the way that I did. I… I just couldn't deal with the fact that some guy came into your life and swept you off your feet, right in front of my face. I got jealous, and reacted like a complete jerk."

Buffy had to smile at that last remark.

"You were a jerk. Xander, you must accept the fact that Spike and I are together, and that things are pretty serious. I would love to keep you as my friend, but if you can't deal with the idea of me having a relationship then I don't know if we can stay friends."

"I would like for us to stay friends," he replied.

"Good"

"I'm not telling you that it will be easy, especially in the beginning. I just need to get used to it."

"There is one thing though that I want you to do before we can go back to our friendship," Buffy said giving Xander a pointed look.

"Anything Buffy."

"I want you to apologize to Spike."

She could see his hesitation and frowned at him.

"Alright, I will apologize to Spike," he mumbled.

"Thank you, Xander."

"Now, I have other shopping to do before I can go home. I hope to see you at the club, and you can drop by any time you like to take me out to lunch, ok?" she said and poked him in the side.

She gave him a hug and waved goodbye as she walked out of the 'Espresso Pump'. Willow was waiting for her on a bench, clearly enjoying the afternoon sun.

"You told him we'd be here, didn't you?" she asked Willow.

Willow gave her a sheepish smile. "I knew he wouldn't have the balls to do it himself. And I want my friends to be happy. I'm sorry if I made the wrong decision."

"All is good, Will. I think we sorted things out. He still has some groveling to do, and I told him to apologize to Spike. You should have seen the look on his face, it was priceless. But it's the only way we can be friends, and I made that pretty clear to him."

"Good, and if he screws up, he will have me and Cordelia to deal with. Now, let's go to Victoria's Secret to find you a dead-sexy number that will have Spike's eyes fall out of their sockets." Willow grinned mischievously.

XXXXX

Buffy turned off the ignition and got out of her car. It was a lovely day and she couldn't wait to spend it with her mom. It had been too long.

"Mom?"

Buffy was standing on the hallway with her weekend bag over her shoulder as she closed the door behind her.

"Oh, hello sweetheart." Joyce enveloped her in a big hug.

"It's good to see you, mom. I've brought my overnight bag. I arranged with Spike to start work a little later so I could stay with you tonight."

"Oh, that is sweet of him. How is he doing, he is such a charming man." Joyce smiled at Buffy. "Let's make ourselves comfortable in the living room, so we can catch up a bit. I made us some hot cocoa like we always used to and I did rent a movie in case you were staying tonight."

"That's great. I'm just going to take my bag upstairs to my room."

"Ok honey."

Two hours later, mother and daughter were still chatting about things that had happened in the last few weeks. The gallery was doing great, the exhibition had brought new customers and of course Buffy's relationship with Spike was discussed.

"I love him," Buffy whispered softly. "I was scared at first, it went all so fast, but he told me he loved me and I know I love him too."

"Buffy baby, when I saw Spike at the exhibition, and the way he looked at you, I knew he was right for you. I could tell that you had him wrapped around your little finger without you even knowing it. He was entranced by you and couldn't keep his eyes off of you the entire evening."

Buffy was silent at that statement.

"I'm not sure yet mom, but he might be the one."

"Just let it happen, honey. Everything will happen just the way it's supposed to…"


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22: What are the consequences

**Chapter 22: What are the consequences?**

Spike walked into the quiet office. It was 8 o'clock and Buffy had already gone home. The last few days had been so hectic that he hadn't seen her at all, and it was starting to get to him. He hustled around the office, looking for the papers he needed for his important meeting tomorrow and once he found them he turned to leave. He stopped suddenly when he saw a figure standing in the doorway.

"What do you want?" he asked coldly. When he didn't get a reply he added, "She's not here."

"I came to see you."

"To what do I owe the pleasure? Are you going to throw another beer at me? Or perhaps get a good swing in this time?" Spike asked, his eyes turning into slits.

"Look, I'm sorry. I came here to apologize." Xander sighed. "I ran into Buffy on Saturday."

Spike was surprised by that. He'd have to find out what happened from Buffy.

Xander put his hands up in a defensive manner. "Hey man, don't worry. We talked some things out. She wanted me to go and talk to you, and for me to apologize to you. I know you don't like me, and I can't really say I like you at the moment, but I'm willing to try to get past my issues, for her."

Spike sighed, turned his back and began to pace the small office. "This is not up to me. I accept your apology, but you need to fix your friendship with Buffy yourself. I know she's been unhappy about your fight, and I have tried my best to make her feel better. So if you want to go back to being friends with her, you better understand that if you hurt her again I won't be so forgiving."

"Right, I understand," Xander said before he turned to walk away.

Spike noticed him falter and he gave Xander a questioning look.

"You really care about her, don't you?" Xander asked

"I love her," Spike replied, the seriousness obvious in his voice. Spike kept his eyes on Xander and saw the small smile that played there, before turning around and leaving the office.

Spike stood there for a few minutes, digesting what had just happened. So Buffy had spoken to Xander. He was a bit worried that she hadn't said anything about it, but then again they hadn't spent a lot of time together lately.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he grabbed a few papers and his jacket and made his way home.

When Spike opened his front door he was greeted with soft music coming from one of the rooms. The house was dimly lit and he could smell scented candles burning. Buffy must have let herself in with the key he'd given her the week before.

He checked several rooms in the apartment and ended up standing in front of his bedroom door. He could hear the music playing on the other side and he slowly opened the door. What he saw then had him rooted to the spot his jaw hanging open slightly. All thoughts of serious talks about a certain person that came to see him were gone from his mind.

Buffy was perched on his bed. She was wearing a black silken camisole that was draped loosely around her form. He could see the top of her creamy breasts where the rope came together. One leg was stretched while the other was bended in a way so he could see she was wearing thigh high stockings.

"Hi," she said.

He looked into her face and saw her cheeks were tinted a beautiful shade of pink. She gave him a soft smile, but stayed still, letting him decide what he wanted to do next.

"Are you going to stand there all night? Or … I don't know, maybe you could come over here?" she asked when he still hadn't moved.

Spike laughed at that and made his way over to the bed. "You have me surprised Miss Summers. I wasn't aware that we were supposed to meet tonight."

"We weren't, but I decided it would be a nice surprise. Don't you like your surprise?" She pouted.

He couldn't resist her pout and he growled in response climbing on the bed hovering over her. "You better believe I like the surprise," he said seductively. He dipped his head and crushed his lips against hers. The kiss was passionate but turned soft and gentle after a short while. He pulled away slowly letting his lips nuzzle her full ones for a few moments and then pulled back completely.

"Can I open my surprise as well?" he asked giving her a seductive smirk.

"That was the idea. Tonight was about you having your way with me…" she whispered.

He groaned at the idea. He wanted her so badly, to just take her right there, in many different ways. "Can I Buffy? Can I do with you what I want? Will you let me take you in different ways? Will you let me take you from behind?" he asked hoarsely. It was one of his wishes, but he'd always been careful to this point. He didn't want to scare her with his passion.

"Yes Spike, you can take me… any…" she kissed him softly on the lips, "…way."

She kissed him fully again as he felt her tongue push past the barrier of his lips. Not wanting to be told twice he ran his hand up her leg and under her camisole.

XXXXX

Buffy woke up the next morning wrapped in the arms of her lover. He was still asleep and she watched him for a few moments, enjoying the sight beside her. His normally neatly slicked back hair was now a mass of curls and he had a contented smile on his face.

Thinking back of the night before she felt herself heat up again. After she'd told him he could do anything he wanted, he'd taken full advantage of that fact. If the glint in his eyes hadn't spoken volumes, his passion had. He'd taken her many different ways, and from behind as he'd wanted to so badly. She'd been nervous about it first but as soon as he'd rubbed his hard cock over her slit she'd been lost to the sensations. It was an experience she'd never forget and she'd realised it was one of her favourite ways to make love to Spike.

She felt herself getting wetter and she let her hands trail over the planes of Spike's chest. He stirred slightly in his sleep and she stopped before he would wake up completely. She didn't want him to wake just yet. Reaching out to him again she pulled the sheet away that covered their bodies and she took in his well sculptured one. He was so beautiful.

She let her hand ghost over his stomach and slowly made her way towards his groin where his cock had come to life again. It was so beautiful. She stroked it and felt it grow even bigger as she did so.

She looked up in his face to see if he had awoken and was glad to see that it wasn't so. His eyes were fluttering though and before she could give him a chance to wake she sat up straight and straddled his body. She positioned him at her entrance and slowly sank down, eliciting a groan from him as his eyes opened as wide as saucers.

"Buffy," he gasped clearly trying to gauge the situation.

"Good morning, baby," she whispered enjoying the feeling of having him inside her. She moved slightly from left to right and felt his hand fly to her hips stopping her motions.

She gave him and evil grin and leaned down running her tongue over his bottom lip asking his to come out and play. She was rewarded when he opened his mouth and let his tongue play with hers. She started moving as they continued their kiss.

She pulled away and sat up straighter moving up and down on his hard cock. "Oh Spike, you feel so good," she moaned.

She kneaded her own breasts as she threw her head back in ecstasy.

"Buffy, god Buffy. Feel so good baby. Can't hold off much longer."

She felt him rub her throbbing clit with his thumb and she flew over the edge, shuddering on top of Spike, her contracting center milked his cock and she felt him go off like a rocket inside her. She fell forward on top of him, catching her breath. She felt something sticky run from in between her thighs and realised then that they hadn't used any protection.

How could she have been so stupid? Spike must have noticed something was up because he slowly ran his hands over her hair and spoke in soothing words.

"What's wrong darling? Did I hurt you?" he asked worriedly.

"No Spike, I'm sorry. You didn't hurt me, I just… I forgot to use anything. We didn't use any protection," she whispered.

Spike was silent at that and she was becoming worried again.

"I'm so sorry Spike. I…"

"Shh, it's alright love. Things will be alright. Don't worry."

Buffy rolled to the side and he slowly slipped from her body. His cum was running out of her and it made her feel very sticky.

"I need to go take a shower," she said softly and got off the bed and made her way to the bathroom. When she walked through the door her mind still processing what had just happened, she heard him call to her.

"Buffy, please don't worry too much ok? If anything happens, we'll deal. But please don't put yourself down or anything. This isn't such a bad thing."

She nodded weakly and closed the bathroom door behind her, with the full intention of having a long soak and forgetting about the consequences.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23: New player in town

**Chapter 23: New player in town**

Buffy was sitting at her desk checking the application form of one of the bouncers she was going to interview today. She still hadn't found one and she was getting worried that she wouldn't at all and they needed one soon. Earlier that week, they'd had one bad customer who wouldn't stop drinking. When Paul had refused to give him more drinks, the guy had resorted to violence. Spike was the one that had managed to escort him outside in the end, but it wasn't something they wanted to happen again.

The knock on the door made her look up. "Hi, can I help you?" she asked the man standing in the door.

"Hi, I'm looking for Buffy Summers?" he asked. "They told me she'd be up here somewhere."

"I'm Buffy," she said, getting up from her desk, she motioned the guy in.

"I'm Riley Finn. I'm here for the position as bouncer. I have an interview with you?" he said.

"Yes, that's right. Come in and take a seat. Do you want anything to drink?"

"No, I'm fine, thanks," he answered as he sat down.

"So Riley, let's cut straight to the chase. I'm sorry to say that we're almost desperate when it comes to finding a bouncer. Could you please tell me your experiences and something about yourself?" she asked as she sat down at her desk.

"Ok, so the name's Riley Finn and I'm from a small town in Iowa. My dad's an officer in the United States army and that's how I got my position in military school. I was in the army for about 5 years until I realised it wasn't for me. I did get all the combat training and it's good for the job as a bouncer."

Buffy nodded her head and wrote down everything he told her. It all sounded good so far. "Do you have any experience as a bouncer?"

"I did have one job before this one, in a club in L.A. Had some nasty clients, but I'm not afraid of them."

"Ok, that's good to hear. Though we always try to avoid physical violence it may be needed at times, and we need to make sure you are able to handle that," Buffy responded seriously.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that ma'am; I will be able to handle myself."

"Good, good. Well, I think I've heard enough so far. When can you start?" she asked with a big grin on her face. "And it's Buffy."

"You're giving me the job? I can start right away," Riley answered happily. "Buffy?"

"Yes I am. You can come back tonight at 6? The pub opens at 7,

and I would like to show you around the place before we open."

"Ok, that's cool. I'll be here at six."

Buffy got up from her desk and walked over Riley to shake his hand in congratulations. What she didn't expect was him taking it and kissing the back of it.

"You won't regret this Buffy," he whispered before turning around and walking out of the office.

Buffy stood stunned for a while. She really hoped she'd made the right decision, because she really didn't want to analyse what just happened.

Shaking her head she walked back the desk to finish up some paperwork before lunch. Spike had told her he'd take her out for a quick bite to eat and she wanted to be ready when he got there.

At one o'clock Buffy was finished with her paperwork and looked around her office. Everything looked neatly organised and she was ready for her lunch. She got up from her desk, grabbed her jacket and made her way downstairs to the bar. Paul was going over the inventory and getting the bar ready for that evening.

"Hey Paul, have you seen Spike?" she asked him.

"I believe he just got in. He should be around somewhere."

Spike showed up as if on queue. "Hello love, are you ready to get something to eat?" he asked as he made his way over to her.

"Yup, ready to get some food. I'm pretty hungry."

"Good. I'll see you later Paul," Spike said waving to his bartender.

"See you Spike, Buffy."

XXXXX

Buffy walked into Tara's office for her appointment and sat down on the sofa. Life had been hectic and she hadn't had time for her usual weekly visit.

"Hey Tara. Sorry I'm late. Spike took me out for lunch and he decided to drive us out of town to a nice little bistro."

"It's ok. I'm sure lunch with your lover is more important than talking to me." Tara smiled.

Buffy giggled and looked Tara in the eyes. "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have neglected our meetings."

"Oh no, Buffy. Don't worry about it. Your life has changed drastically the last few weeks. And that means we have a lot to talk about now."

"I suppose you're right. Things have changed so much. I have a new job, a loving boyfriend with whom things are going great."

"So how's the new job working out for you so far?"

"Oh Tara, I love it so much. Everybody is so nice there, and I feel right at home. And people actually listen to what I have to say! It's so cool. And I finally found a bouncer today…" Buffy said and then frowned.

"Something wrong with that?" Tara asked.

"Something strange happened at the end of the interview. I mean, I'm probably making it into something it's not, but it just felt weird…"

"What happened?"

"Well, the guy that I interviewed, his name's Riley, and he was all gentleman like during the interview, very nice and all. But before her left I went over to congratulate and he took my hand and kissed it and then he whispered that I wouldn't regret it." Buffy was silent for a moment. "It was just really strange. Because at that time I was thinking I may have made the wrong decision."

"Why would it have been a wrong decision?"

Buffy looked up at Tara as if she'd lost her mind. "Why?? I'm in a relationship with someone!" Buffy almost yelled.

"Buffy, do you not think that maybe you're making too much of the situation already? First of all, Riley doesn't know about your relationship with Spike, and so doesn't know you're not available. Secondly, it might not have been anything at all; he may have just been trying to charm you to secure his job."

Buffy wasn't convinced.

"Look, I think you should just let things take their course. Do not encourage Riley, but don't treat him differently. Just act normal towards him, like you do with everyone else."

"Right, ok, I can do that. Just act like I do with everyone else." Buffy said while biting her bottom lip. "Should I tell Spike?"

"Do you want to tell him? Is there anything to tell him?" Tara questioned her.

Buffy didn't know what to say. She was probably being stupid about the whole thing. It wasn't anything to worry Spike about. He had enough going on in his head as it was.

"I guess not. You're right, there's nothing going on. I shouldn't make this into something it's not."

"Good, now that we're talking about Spike, how are things with you two?"

They continued their session, Buffy talking about their relationship and how things had progressed in the mean time. As the end of the hour neared, Buffy said her goodbyes to Tara and made an appointment to come back in two weeks.

As she walked out of Tara's office Buffy felt remotely better. Her sessions really did help her deal with certain aspects of life.

With a smile she stepped into her car and drove off towards her apartment.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24: Going through the changes

**Chapter 24: Going through the changes**

Spike was on his way to his car when his cell phone went off. "Devine speaking."

"Hi."

"Buffy love, it's so bloody good to hear your voice," he sighed into the phone. "Are we still on for tonight?"

"Yeah, that's why I'm calling you. I forgot to tell you that the new bouncer is starting today, and I'm showing Riley around the pub at 6. Give him a tour before he starts, and introduce him to Paul since he'll be taking orders from him as well."

"Sure love. You want us to meet an hour later than planned? I can come by your place at 8 instead of 7. I'm on my way to the pub myself at the moment actually. I need to talk to Paul about closing tonight," he said while getting into his car.

"You don't mind do you? I mean, I thought it would be better if I gave him a tour instead of letting him figure things out himself, especially since we won't be at the pub tonight to help him out."

"Of course not kitten. You do your thing and we'll meet an hour later. As long as I still get my Buffy fix tonight. I think I've developed quite an addiction to your presence and care," he whispered huskily in the phone. He could hear Buffy's intake of breath followed by silence. "Love, you still with me?"

"You know I love you right?" she whispered shakily.

"I know… I love you too. Nothing's wrong is it?" He was starting to get worried by the sudden change of mood in the conversation.

"No, nothing's wrong. I just needed to tell you that."

He laughed into the phone. "Gosh pet, don't scare me like that again. I thought something was wrong. I love you kitten, won't ever let you go." He put the keys in the ignition and started the car. "I will see you tonight. Be ready for me," he said before clicking off his phone and driving off in the direction of the pub.

XXXXX

Buffy was ready for the day and waiting for Riley to show up for a tour around the place. Just as she walked down the stairs towards the bar area she saw him coming into the pub.

"Hi Riley! I'm glad you could make it tonight," she said, welcoming him.

"No worries Buffy. I'm glad to be here." He smiled back at her.

"All right, let's give you a tour around the place then and I'll introduce you to some people you'll be working with along the way."

"Great, I'm ready to go."

"Ok, follow me," Buffy said as she made her way towards Paul.

"Hi Paul, you got a second?" she said.

"Sure Buffy, what's up?"

"I'd like to introduce you to Riley, our new bouncer."

"Hey mate, welcome to Little London." Paul shook his hand.

"You'll be working quite a lot with Paul here when Spike or I aren't around. Paul knows everything there is to know about the pub and is often in charge of closing. If you need anything you can always ask him."

She waved goodbye to Paul and showed Riley the rest of the pub. She introduced him to some of the waiting personnel and showed him the underground part of the pub that Spike was working on.

"So, who is this Spike guy anyway?" Riley asked her with a raised eyebrow.

"Spike's actually the owner of this place. He started Little London a few months ago, and is now working on expanding it into something bigger. He's got lots of plans for this place and is working hard on realising them. That's how I got the job, to relieve him of some of those pub-running-duties. That's all my responsibility now, so he can organise his other plans." Buffy explained. She left out the part where Spike was her boyfriend. She didn't want Riley to think she only got the job because she was seeing him.

"Is he here often? I haven't seen him yet."

"He's around mostly during the day, but he's out a lot talking to investors and other kinds of people like that. Sometimes he still works as a bartender. You'll probably see him tomorrow. He's tending then."

"Sounds like he's a very serious man."

"Oh, he is. Extremely serious, and he has a contagious enthusiasm that affects people around him. When you see him walking around the pub the only thing you can do is smile and listen to what he has to say," she said with a slightly dreamy look on her face.

Riley must have noticed because he frowned at her then before replying. "Are you sure that isn't just you?"

Buffy laughed at him. "Trust me, when you see him you know what I mean. Spike's an amazing man, and everyone here has a great respect for him."

They went to the office and sat down, Buffy needed Riley to sign some papers. When everything was settled, Buffy got up from her chair and grabbed her jacket.

"Again welcome to the Little London, Riley. If you need anything just ask Paul, he'll be glad to help you. See you tomorrow!"

"You're not staying tonight?"

"Nope, tonight's my night off. Well, most of the nights are my night off. I work mainly during the day, but I'll be here tomorrow. See you then! Bye."

"Bye Buffy."

Buffy was in such a hurry to leave, she didn't notice the slightly disappointed look flash across his face.

XXXXX

It was 8 o'clock and Spike walked into Buffy's apartment. She was in the kitchen preparing a late night dinner for the two of them.

"Hey baby," he called out while walking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her. "I've missed you."

"Careful, I'm shopping veggies here," she answered with a giggle to which he growled and took the hand that held the knife. Making her let go he turned her around and held her tight in his embrace. She wrapped her arms around his neck in response and smiled up at him.

"You better have time to say hello to your man, because if not he will have to punish you for that later," he smirked at her.

"Hmm, you can punish me any time," she answered with an evil glint in her eye.

Spike groaned. "God pet, do you have any idea what you do to me?"

"I have an idea," she said, rubbing her right leg against his crotch.

His eyes widened and he heard her giggle at his responsiveness towards her. "What have I done? I've created a monster," he whispered to the heavens.

Having had enough of her little tricks, he tightened his arms around her and crushed his lips to hers. He felt her relax in his arms and softened the kiss and eventually pulled back when oxygen was becoming an issue. "So, what have you got planned for dinner, love?"

"Hmm, I was making us Chicken Tikka Masala. I hope you like that," she murmured into his chest.

"I love everything you make me kitten. You know that," he said while stroking her hair. "And do we have anything for dessert?"

She raised up her head, and had that same evil glint in her eyes again. He let her disentangle herself from his embrace so she could walk to the refrigerator.

"I thought you might enjoy this," she said while holding up a single can of whipped cream.

He looked at her for a second and was completely silent.

"You ok? Did I break you?" she asked with a frown as she sat the cream back in the refrigerator.

Instead of answering he started chuckling which turned into a full belly laugh. Buffy was looking at him as if he'd lost his mind completely.

"Oh love, honestly, how you have changed from a shy little girl into the wickedest sex vixen I could have ever hoped for. You amaze me," he said still chuckling slightly.

Buffy was grinning. "Well, what can I say? You bring it all out of me. It's you I should blame for all of it. But no silly business now, I need to finish making our dinner," she said and walked passed him towards he neatly cut vegetables.

"Ok love. I'm just going to take a quick shower while you finish your lovely cooking," he said with a smile and made his way upstairs.

She was definitely going to be the death of him.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25: Don't worry

**Chapter 25: Don't worry**

Buffy woke around noon and was surprised by breakfast in bed. Spike had gone all the way by making toast, eggs and freshly squeezed orange juice. As a special treat, he had placed a small vase with a single red rose on her tray.

She'd eagerly eaten her breakfast and thanked him with a gentle kiss. After the wonderful surprise, she wanted to so something for him as well. Feigning with the act that she needed to make 'important' phone calls, she told him to go take a shower as she walked out of the bedroom towards the living room. Once she knew the coast was clear, she snuck back towards the bathroom.

She was greeted with a delicious vision of a naked Spike standing with his back towards her. Little drops were cascading down his muscular back onto his nicely shaped ass. She'd silently undressed herself and slowly made her way over to the shower cubicle.

As she entered the shower from behind him, she didn't give him enough time to realise she was there, before she pressed herself against his back. She ran her hands over his fine abs and down to his stomach.

"I thought you had important phone calls to make," he said while standing exactly where he was.

She kissed his back a few times before replying. "Hmm, I couldn't get the vision out of my head of this gorgeous naked man in my shower. I just had to check if things were all right," she whispered as her right hand moved toward his groin.

"It seems that things are more than all right and pretty much up for action." She chuckled against his back.

"Buffy…"

"What's wrong?" she whispered while pumping his erection.

His answer was a growl and before she could react he pulled her around so she was facing him. In mere moments, she was being smothered with kisses. She responded immediately and wrapped her arms around his neck plastering herself further against him.

Buffy rested her forehead against his chest and let her arms hang loosely at his neck. "I love you." She ran her hands over his arms and wrapped them around his waist. "I'm so happy I found you." she said while looking into his eyes. She could see the same emotions reflecting in his eyes.

"I'm never going to leave you Buffy. You're stuck with me forever."

"I can live with forever," she replied smiling.

"I'll see you tomorrow after work, right?" Buffy asked Spike as they got out of the car.

"You better believe it, baby. I'll pick you up at 6." Spike took her into his arms and kissed her before letting her go where they both walked into the pub.

Buffy made her way over to her group of friends as Spike walked off to the bar to start his shift. "Hey guys, how are you doing?"

"Hey Buffster, you made it. We weren't sure if you were going to show," Xander said, which earnt him a kick under the table from Cordelia. "Ouch, what was that for?"

"Sorry Buffy, Xander's being his normal pain in the ass."

"It's ok Cordy. Spike has to tend bar tonight, so we had no choice but to end our passionate love acts early today." The shocked looks on her friends' faces made Buffy burst out laughing.

"Buffy! I can't believe you just said that!" Willow said, a shocked look on her face. Tara just smiled at her knowingly.

"I'm sorry guys, but you had that coming. I know that you've all been wondering about how things are between me and Spike, and that was your well deserved answer. Things are great, they're more than great, we're in love," she said grinning.

"Who's that guy over there staring at you Buffy?" Willow asked after taking another sip of her drink.

Buffy looked in the direction that Willow was discreetly pointing in and saw Riley standing near the doors. He was looking their way. "Oh, that's Riley, he's our new bouncer. I hired him about two weeks ago. He's very nice and very serious about his work too." She waved at Riley. He waved back at them and gave Buffy a warm smile.

"Seems like it's not the only thing he's serious about," Cordelia said.

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.

"The way he looks at you? He's clearly more interested in you than having you as a friend or boss. I'd be careful if I were you."

Buffy looked over at Tara with a worried expression who gave her an encouraging nod. She'd been acting normal towards Riley, as they'd talked about during their session. She hadn't given him any sign that there was more to their relationship than friendship.

"It's ridiculous, and even if it were true, he doesn't have a chance. I'm taken," Buffy said sternly. She glanced back at Riley and saw he was talking to someone who wanted to get in. "I'll go over to him and say hi," she told the group. It was more a way to prove to herself that nothing was going on.

"Hey Riley, how are you doing?" she asked, standing next to him near the entrance.

"Hey Buffy. Things are fine thanks. It's a slow night. Not many drunken or violent people that I have to remove from the club or deny access. How are you? Not working today?"

"I came in late, busy night yesterday. I still have stuff to do later on."

"That's good." Just as Riley finished that sentence a drunken guy bumped into Buffy and pushed her right into Riley. Instinctively she wrapped her arms around him to steady herself. She felt Riley's arm wrap around her as well, and she looked into his eyes. "Sorry about that, kind of a reflex," she apologized.

"That's ok, are you all right? I better check up on that guy, see if he's real trouble."

"I'm fine, thanks. Why don't you go check on him? I'll see you later." She disentangled herself from him and walked back her friends.

"Well, nothing's going on huh?" Cordelia said frowning at her.

"Shut up, Cordy. I'm going upstairs to finish up some work," she said and then walked to the stairs leading to her office. She glanced over to the bar and saw Spike watching her, a frown marring his face. She gently shook her head and walked up the

stairs.

By the end of the evening Buffy had finished most of her work. She rubbed her tired eyes and sighed. She hadn't slept a lot the night before and it was starting to get to her.

"Hey." A voice startled her from her thoughts and when she looked up she saw Riley standing in her doorway.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be downstairs?" she asked questioningly.

"Everyone's left, the pub is empty. I just wanted to make sure you're ok. I'm sorry about that guy; I should have seen it coming."

"Hey, don't worry about it, nothing happened. It's all good. Did you get rid of him?"

"I checked up on him, and he apologized. He left soon after."

Buffy got up from her chair and put on her jacket. "Well, I'm going home. I'm in serious need of some sleep." She smiled at him and walked towards the door.

Riley walked with her down the stairs and they said their farewells at the bottom. Buffy made her way to the bar to say good night to the guys. Spike was waiting for her and didn't look all too pleased.

"What were you doing with Riley upstairs?" he asked.

"He was just checking to see if I was ok. Some drunken guy ran into me earlier today while I was talking to him." He was glaring at her. "What? You don't trust me? Where the hell did that came from?" she asked having no clue why he would act like that all of a sudden.

"It's nothing. I'm sorry Buffy, it's just… some memories came back to me. I'm sorry," Spike told her.

Buffy walked behind the bar and gave him a hug. "I'm not her. I'm not Cecily."

"I know. I love you," Spike whispered into her ear as he hugged her tightly to him.

"And I love you."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26: It's not what you think

**Chapter 26: It's not what you think**

Spike was extremely busy and Buffy hadn't seen a lot of him. She was missing him and it was driving her crazy.

As she walked into the pub, she saw Riley standing by Paul chatting away. She'd kept her distance with Riley, but still talked to him when she needed to. He was so easy to talk to, and he could easily make her laugh. He'd come to her office at the end of his shift and they'd talk about the events of the day. She'd shared a few drinks with him, but nothing more. It was nice to have some company at the club now that Spike was out so often.

"Hey guys, how's it going?" she asked as she walked up to the two. "It's promising to be a good night, with the 'Dingoes Ate My Baby' playing here."

"Yeah, I'm sure I won't be bored tonight!" Riley laughed.

"Paul, have you seen Spike at all? He was supposed to be making arrangements for tonight's gig, but I haven't seen him and I can't reach him on his cell," she asked the head bartender.

"No, sorry Buffy, I haven't seen him yet, but when I do I'll tell him you're looking for him."

"Thanks a million. I have some things to discuss with him," she said while looking around the place to make sure everything else was pretty much ready for the night. "Right guys, I'm heading out for a bit. I'll be back later tonight to watch the show." She walked to her office to get her stuff and exited the pub to go to meet up with Tara and Willow for dinner.

XXXXX

Spike checked his cell phone to see if he had any messages and noticed that the battery was dead.

"Sodding phone," he cursed to himself. He hadn't spoken to Buffy in days and he just wanted to hear her voice. He quickly got into his car and drove off into the direction of 'Little London'.

"Paul?" he called out when he walked into the pub, all the while looking for Buffy.

"Spike, man, where have you been? Buffy's been almost frantic looking for you."

"I'm sorry Paul, the batteries of my mobile are dead so I couldn't be reached. Was she looking for me urgently?" he asked, slightly worried something might be wrong.

"Not urgently, but she wanted to discuss some things with you. Told us to tell you she was looking for you."

"Ok, thanks mate, I'll give her a call then." He walked over to the staircase leading towards 'Buffy's' office. Sitting down in her chair he grabbed the phone and dialled her cell number.

"Hi, Buffy speaking," he heard her answer the call.

"Hey baby, it's me," he answered.

"Spike!" He could hear the delight in her voice and a big smile enveloped his face. "Where have you been? I've been trying to call you all day long, but you never picked up. A girl might get ideas ya know." He knew she was teasing him and he chuckled into the phone.

"Oh baby, you have nothing to worry about. There's only one person in my life and that's you kitten. My batteries died on me so I wasn't able to answer your calls. But I hear from Paul that you've been frantically looking for me. Couldn't stay away from me huh?"

"I miss you baby." He heard her whisper into the phone.

"I miss you too kitten. But I'm here tonight, helping out Paul at the bar. Will you be in?"

"Yeah, I'm having dinner with Willow and Tara now, and will come to the pub afterwards. I'll wait for you."

"Good, I'll let you go now then."

"I'll see you later baby, I love you."

"I love you too, kitten," he said, hanging up the phone and noticing a figure hovering in the doorway at the same time.

"Anyone there? Can I help you?" he called out. When he saw Riley step into the doorway he frowned.

"Sorry, I heard talking and thought Buffy might be in."

"No, Buffy's having dinner with her friends," Spike replied cautiously.

"I know, she told me. Sorry for bothering you, see you around."

"Yeah, see you…" Spike wasn't sure what to think of this. Why would Riley just come round for a visit? Buffy told him he had nothing to worry about a few weeks before when he questioned her on their encounter, and he trusted her. But after his deceitful relationship with Cecily he still felt his insecurities about these things crawl back to him. Finding his first love in bed with another man had left him with deep scars. Even though he knew Buffy would never do that to him, he knew he would never feel 100 secure.

With a sigh he got up from his chair and walked back downstairs.

XXXXX

"Hey Buffy!"

Buffy turned around and saw her two friends sitting at a table near the back of the restaurant.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late. Spike called me on my way over. I hadn't spoken to him in a few days." She smiled at her friends; it was good to see them.

Tara smiled softly at her. "So how are you guys doing?"

"Things are going great. Life's just been really busy. The pub needs a lot of my attention and Spike's really busy with his ideas." She unconsciously let out a loud yawn.

"Buffy, you alright? You look exhausted," Willow told her gently.

"Thanks Willow." Buffy chuckled at her friend. "I'm ok. It's been a bit tiring lately, but I've been so busy with everything that I haven't given myself enough rest. Don't worry."

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure," Buffy said. "Now let's order. I'm starving."

XXXXX

The 'Dingoes' were playing their socks off and the dance floor was filled with people. Buffy made her way over to the bar and saw how busy Spike and Paul were. She went behind the bar and wrapped her arms around Spike giving him a quick squeeze before releasing him.

"Hey baby, I couldn't wait any longer, missed you," she said while standing on her tiptoes and giving him a quick kiss before pulling back.

Spike put down the two beers on the bar he was serving and pulled her back into his arms. "And I missed you. I will see you tonight right?"

"You can count on it." She disentangled herself from his embrace to let him get back to work and walked up the stairs towards her office.

When she got there she couldn't help but smile when she saw the single red rose lying on her desk. She sniffed it and went in search for a little vase to put it in. Not finding any she opted for a glass instead and put the rose in it on her desk.

"I see you've received the rose. Do you like it?" she heard someone say from the doorway.

She looked up she saw Riley standing there she frowned slightly.

"I was up here earlier, but I couldn't find you," Riley told her softly.

"I'm here now… can I help you with anything?" she asked quietly, not sure what to think.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing, and tell you that I've really enjoyed our talks of late." He was walking closer towards her and Buffy got up from her chair to stand beside her desk.

"Riley, that's really nice of you. I enjoy our talks as well, but…"

He didn't let her finish though. "And I also wanted to say that I think you are a remarkable woman."

She saw his hand reach up towards her face. Ok, so this was absolutely not of the good.

"Riley, wait, I'm sorry, I'm not…"

Buffy's eyes widened as she felt Riley lips on hers and his tongue make his way into her mouth. His grip on her was too tight and she couldn't get loose from his embrace. When she saw a shadow in the doorway she recognised the person immediately. She would recognise that body anywhere. Finally, being released from the tight grip she brought her hand up to her mouth and stared at the man she was deeply in love with. Though his stare was returned with one of icy cold anger and before she could react he was out of the door again.

"Spike!"


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27: Why don't you believe me

**Chapter 27: Why don't you believe me?**

Buffy stared at the empty door frame trying to process what had just happened. It went all so fast, she was having a hard time getting her brain around it.

"What was that?" Riley asked.

"I'm sorry, Riley!" she said and then she ran out the door. She needed to catch up with Spike.

She ran down the stairs and looked around the pub. That's when she saw him disappear out the back entrance. "Spike! Spike! Please listen to me. It's not what you think." She ran outside and saw him standing by his car. He looked up and saw her, and before she could say anything else he pulled open the car door and got in.

"Please, Spike, no! Please listen to me!" She was frantic now, tears of fear and frustration ran down her cheeks as she ran to the car.

"Leave me alone, Buffy. If you know what's good for you, you will LEAVE ME ALONE!" he yelled and then slammed the door shut. He started the engine and sped off into the night.

Buffy watched as the taillights of the Desoto disappeared around the corner. She couldn't move. She didn't understand what had just happened. She didn't even notice at first that it had started raining, how convenient. Feeling numb she turned around and walked back inside. She gave Paul a weak smile when he looked at her, concern clearly on his face, but she didn't say anything to him. She walked slowly up the stairs back to her office.

Riley was standing at the same spot she'd left him when she'd ran out of the room. "I'm so sorry Buffy, I didn't know."

"I know. I never told you about my relationship with Spike. We've been together for a while now, even before I started working here. I should have told you," she whispered hoarsely feeling more tears burning in the back of her eyes. "I'm sorry, but I need to go. I need to find him."

"Buffy, wait. I know I'm not in the position to say this now, seeing as I have caused this in the first place, but I think you should let him cool off for a little while," Riley said softly.

Buffy looked at him, the tears now freely flowing down her face. "I can't lose him," she whispered in defeat.

"Hopefully you won't."

XXXXX

Spike drove around as the tears cascaded down his cheeks. It had happened again, the woman he was in love with was cheating. His girl… his Buffy! He couldn't take it anymore and stopped the car at the side of the road. Silent sobs wracked his body as he felt the true pain of her actions deep in his heart.

She had yelled that it didn't mean anything, that it wasn't what it seemed. It was crystal clear to him. She'd been kissing another guy. End of story. The guy being the one person he'd had his suspicions about ever since that first night he'd seen them coming down the staircase didn't help either. She had lied to him then as well, telling him it was nothing to worry about.

He couldn't deal, not again. He started the car again and drove off. His destination? The nearest liquor store.

XXXXX

Buffy tried to put the key in the lock. Her hands were shaking so much it wasn't an easy task. Finally getting the job done she slowly walked into the dark apartment.

"Spike?" she called out softly. There was no response; the entire apartment was deadly quiet. She checked all the rooms and found no signs that Spike had been here. She dropped her keys on the table and sat down on the sofa. Tears started again as she thought of the moments they'd shared on that sofa. Moments of love and passion, comfortable silences, watching movies or just talking.

She crawled further on the sofa resting her head on the armrest, intending to wait for Spike's arrival whenever that may be.

She must have fallen asleep, because when she woke up she saw a very pissed off and very drunken Spike hovering above her. Cold blue eyes stared into her green ones and she was suddenly slightly afraid of him.

"What the hell are you doing here? Didn't I tell you the leave me alone?"

She sat up. "Spike, I'm here to explain. Please, listen to me."

"You don't need to explain anything to me, Buffy. It's all perfectly clear. Now, I'm telling you to leave!" he yelled at her again.

Buffy felt tears running down her face, a mix of fear and sadness. She'd clearly hurt him, but he wouldn't even listen to her explanation. How could she make him realize nothing was going on if he wouldn't even let her talk?

"Spike, no, please. I'm sorry."

"Shut up, bitch. I don't want to hear any of your excuses."

She looked at him, her eyes wide in shock. The venom in his words was more then she could take, she got up and walked to the door. "I'll come back tomorrow," she whispered softly as she walked out of his apartment.

"Don't bother coming back again, Buffy. It's over."

Before she could say anything else, the door was slammed in her face. She slid down the wall, no longer able to hold off the gut-wrenching sobs that had been threatening the entire time. His words repeating over and over in her head.

'It's over.'

She put her hand against his door and whispered his name.

XXXXX

The days went by slowly. Buffy kept trying to contact Spike, but either he slammed down the phone or didn't even pick up. She went to work as every other day and avoided most of the people there. She couldn't avoid Paul though, and as she made her way over to him he gave her a sympathetic smile. She sat down on one of the chairs near the bar.

"How are you holding up Buffy?" he asked her gently.

"Not so good. He won't even listen to me. How can I explain to him that it meant nothing?" She looked up at Paul with watery eyes. It was like she couldn't stop them whenever she thought of Spike. "What am I going to do?"

"I don't know Buffy." She felt him put his arm around her and she willingly went into his embrace. "He hasn't been in these last few days. He's probably trying to avoid any confrontation. I can try and talk to him, get him to at least listen to you."

Buffy looked up at him hopefully. "Would you do that for me?"

"Course Buffy. I don't enjoy seeing you like this. And I know you never meant to hurt him, but remember he's my friend too, and I won't start taking sides in this matter. I will talk to him, but don't expect me to try and explain this to him, that is up to you."

"Thank you, Paul." She smiled at him, the first genuine one she had in days. "I better go back up to finish some stuff." As she got up from her chair she was assaulted by a dizzy spell. One hand went towards her head while the other tried to reach for something near. Luckily for her, Paul was still standing within arms reach and he caught her before she could fall.

"Ho there! Are you ok?"

She took a few deep breaths before she got herself back under control and stepped away from him. "I'm fine now… thanks. I guess it's all been a bit too much lately."

She walked away then, still feeling slightly dizzy.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28: Suspicions come true

**Chapter 28: Suspicions come true**

"Spike! Open up, man."

Spike opened his eyes slowly as he was awakened by loud banging. Raising his head slowly, he groaned in pain, the alcohol he'd consumed the night before clearly making itself known. Remembering why he'd once again drunken himself into oblivion, the pain in his heart returned as well.

"Spike, I know you're in there. Open the door!" Spike knew the constant banging wouldn't go away any time soon. Picking himself up from his sofa, he stumbled towards the door and pulled it open roughly.

"What?" he barked out. He was staring straight in the eyes of his first barman. And he knew Paul well enough to know that he wouldn't back down. The two stood in silence and eventually Spike sighed and sidestepped so he could let Paul walk into his home.

Bottles were spread around the place everywhere. The curtains were drawn and the apartment was cloaked in darkness. The heady smell of alcohol was thickening the air and remnants of pre-package food items were scattered amongst the bottles and spread out all over the floor

Paul pulled open the curtains and Spike groaned at the bright light filling the room.

"What are you doing here, Paul?"

"I could ask you the same thing. You haven't been in work in days. It doesn't get done by itself you know."

Spike scowled at him knowing fully well how things were. "I've been busy," he growled.

"Yeah, drinking yourself into oblivion. It's not helping you solve your problems."

"Yeah well, it helps make me forget."

"It doesn't go away though, the moment you realize it's true, the same feeling comes back to you." Paul looked at him pointedly to which Spike just glowered.

"You don't know what happened, you weren't there."

"No, I don't. But I do see a very distressed woman come to the pub every day with hope in her eyes that you might be there."

Spike looked away from Paul when the image of Buffy formed in his head.

"Spike… you have to talk to her. Give her the chance to explain herself."

A disbelieving look crossed Spike's face. "You're taking her side?"

"I'm not taking anyone's side, Spike, but I hate seeing both my friends in pain."

They were both silent after that.

"Give her a chance."

And with that he walked out of the door.

XXXXX

Buffy was still in bed. When she'd come home the day before, she'd been so exhausted that she'd fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She'd only just had had the energy to strip off her clothes and crawl into bed, but now it was time to get up.

As she walked into the bathroom, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her tired eyes looked back at her. She sighed and turned on her shower to get ready for another day at work.

An hour later, she walked into the pub looking around to see if any of the staff were around. As expected, Paul was already at his bar.

"Hey Buffy, how are you feeling?"

She smiled tiredly at him. "I'm ok thanks, just a bit tired."

"You' take it easy. All right?" He smiled at her.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine," she said, making her way towards the stairs.

Hours later, she came back down after having finished the things she needed to do. She walked over to the back to check on the staff.

"Hey Buffy."

Buffy turned around and saw Riley walk towards her. Ever since the incident he'd been very kind towards her. He'd apologized for his actions and had never attempted anything since. Knowing that it hadn't been his fault, Buffy had accepted his apology and told him she'd like to still be friends, but that she needed some time at first. And so he had given it to her.

"Hey Riley," she said giving him a tired smile.

"Hey, are you ok?" he asked concern lacing his voice.

Buffy sighed. "Why does everyone keep asking me that? It's driving me insane! I'm fine!"

Riley put up his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry. You just look tired is all."

Buffy rubbed her eyes at that and looked at him wearily. "I think everything's making me tired and I think I may have a bug or something. I've been feeling a bit off lately, but it's nothing for you guys to worry about. I promise. Now, I actually have to find Paul to tell him I won't be in tomorrow. Have you seen him?"

"I think I saw him go down to the lower level earlier."

"Ok, thanks. I'll see you around."

As she turned around she was hit by another dizzy spell, though this time it was a lot stronger than the ones she'd had before. She grabbed her head and squeezed her eyes shut trying to rid herself of the dizzy feeling, but it was no use. She just managed to call out to Riley softly as she felt blackness overtake her.

"Buffy? Buffy, can you hear me? Buffy?" she heard a voice call to her. "Riley, get some wet towels please."

Buffy slowly opened her eyes and found herself lying on the floor somewhere near the back entrance.

"Buffy?" she heard someone call again. And as she looked up she saw a very worried Paul looking down at her.

"Paul? What happened? What am I doing on the floor?"

"You fainted Buffy. You gave us a quite a scare."

Looking around confused she reached out to Paul to help her sit up just as Riley was coming back into the room with some towels. He handed them to Paul.

"Hey Buffy, you ok?" he asked her gently.

"I feel so embarrassed. I can't believe I fainted!" She felt Paul put one of the cold wet towels to her head. "Thanks."

"I can't get away from the pub now, but let Riley take you home. I don't want you to go home on your own now ok?" Paul looked at her worriedly.

"Ok thanks, Paul."

"And go see a doctor!"

She got up from the ground and let herself be guided towards the back door of the pub to Riley's car. As they drove off towards her apartment, she let her head rest against the window and felt her eyes getting heavier by the minute.

"We're here." She woke up as he softly touched her arm.

"Hold on, I'll help you get out of the car." She took his offered hand and carefully got out, still a bit groggy from her short sleep during the ride home.

"Don't take this the wrong way Buffy, but you're really not fit."

She looked at him confused. "What do you mean?" But before she knew what was happening, she was being lifted into a pair of strong arms. She felt silly being carried, but also very grateful, so she let herself be carried to the stoop of her apartment.

He sat her down, and after she opened the door he helped her go into her apartment.

XXXXX

Spike was just about to get out of his car when he saw an unfamiliar car pull up in front of her building. . The anger rose in him like the water coming to a boil in a pot of tea when he saw Riley . What the hell was that wanker doing?

His question was soon answered when the passenger's door was opened and he watched as Riley helped Buffy out of the car. He was astonished to see Buffy being lifted into the guy's arms and being carried toward her front door.

He sat there for a while, shocked beyond words. He wasn't aware of the tears forming in his eyes, but now he knew that he really had lost her.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29: Positive thinking

**Chapter 29: Positive thinking?**

"Miss Summers?"

Buffy looked up from her magazine and saw the medical assistant holding open the inner office door.

"The doctor is ready to see you now," the assistant said.

Buffy got up from her seat and walked into the doctor's office.

"Hi Buffy. I haven't seen you in a while, how are you doing?"

She shook hands with him and sat down in the extra chair next to the examination table. "Hi Sam, I haven't been feeling well lately."

"Right, let's see what we can do about that. Lisa took a blood and urine sample when you came in, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Good, we'll probably know the results of your urine test within the next few minutes. Why don't you tell me how long you've been feeling under the weather?"

"It's only been the last few weeks. I thought it was just the stress of a new job and other things in my life, but I've been getting dizzy a lot and yesterday it got so bad that I actually fainted. The guys at work won't let me come back until I see a doctor," she said, letting out a small giggle. "They're kinda over-protective."

"Sounds like they care to me. Is there anything else apart from the dizziness?" Sam inquired.

"Hmm, not really, I've been really tired as well, but I guess that has to do with the dizziness."

A beeping sound went off and Sam pressed a button on the machine in front of her.

"The results of the urine sample are ready," a voice said.

"Thanks, you can bring them in," Sam replied.

Buffy waited anxiously, fiddling with the hem of her shirt as the results were brought in. What she didn't expect to see was Sam looking up to her giving her a warm smile.

"Buffy, when was the last time you had your period?"

"Well, I've always been kinda irregular, but I guess the last time was maybe 2 months ago? But it was only a light bleeding," she said, with mixed emotions. She was worried, but the smile on Sam's face told her she shouldn't be.

"There's a perfectly normal explanation for the symptoms you've been having."

Buffy looked at Sam expectantly. "Whatl?" Buffy asked, although she was starting to suspect what Sam was going to tell her.

"Buffy, according to these tests, you're pregnant." Sam smiled at her.

Buffy was still shocked to hear it actually said out loud. Her mouth fell open and she unconsciously brought her hand to her stomach. "What?"

"You're pregnant. And thinking back to what else you told me I would say you're about two and a half, three months along."

Buffy stayed silent, trying to process the information.

"Buffy, are you alright?" Sam asked with a worried look on her face.

Buffy raised her head to look into Sam's eyes. Tears were threatening to spill. How could this happen to her now? "I'm sorry. I… I need to go." Buffy hurriedly stood up and picked up her handbag.

"Buffy, hold up. It would be wise to schedule an appointment with a gynaecologist. I can recommend you one if you like."

Buffy stopped short at the door and turned back to Sam smiling weakly. "Thanks Sam, I'll call you back. I just need to… I need to go." She turned back to the door when Sam called out to her again. She stopped not turning back right away.

"Are you ok?"

"I don't know," she whispered. "I really don't know."

XXXXX

"Tara?"

"Yes baby?"

"Buffy just called, she's coming over right away. She seemed upset." Willow walked into the kitchen where Tara was making some tea. Tara gave her a worried look and handed Willow a mug before they made their way into the living room.

There was a knock on the door and Willow went over to open it. Before she could even say anything, her arms were full with a sobbing Buffy. Willow and Tara exchanged worried glances.

"Buffy?" Willow called out to her soothingly, but there was no response.

They both slid slowly to the floor as Buffy continued to sob holding on for dear life. Willow ran her hands over Buffy's back, whispering words of comfort.

"Oh Willow, what am I going to do?"

"Buffy, please tell me what's wrong." Willow asked her softly. She felt Buffy extract herself from her embrace. Her face was completely tearstained and her eyes looked back at her with a pained expression.

"Willow… I'm pregnant."

Willow looked at Buffy shocked, completely blown away by the news. "Buffy, are you sure?"

Tara kneeled down next to the pair handing Buffy a tissue to blow her nose.

"I went to the doctor today. They did some tests and they told me I'm about two and a half, maybe three months pregnant."

There was silence again.

"How can I be pregnant and not know, Willow?" More tears were rolling down her cheeks.

Willow looked at her friend, feeling sorry for her. Everything she'd been going through the last few weeks, and now this.

"Let's get off the floor ok?" Tara told them softly helping Buffy to her feet.

"Thanks."

When they sat down on the sofa Willow turned back to Buffy.

"Does Spike know yet?"

The look on her face told Willow all she needed to know.

"Oh, I'm so sorry sweetheart."

"He won't talk to me Willow. I've tried to call him and went to his house, but he won't answer me." She was sobbing again and Willow took her back in her arms.

"Tara, could you please ready the guest bedroom. I don't want her to be home alone now."

"Of course not, she shouldn't be alone, I'll get the room ready."

Willow felt Buffy pull back and she ran her hands over Buffy's tearstained cheeks.

"Thank you guys. I didn't know where else to go."

"Don't worry Buffy. We'll always be here for you. What else are friends for huh?" Willow gave her a reassuring smile.

XXXXX

Buffy walked into the pub with only one goal: finding Paul.

"Paul?" she called out. When no one responded she walked to the lower level of the club to look for him there. What she didn't expect to find was the man that was now standing in front of her.

"Spike…"

"Buffy." He looked shocked and agitated at the same time.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, not knowing what to say else. She hadn't even gotten the chance to talk to him and now that he was there she was at a loss for words.

"Well, I work here, and I heard the place needed some attending."

"Right, I'm sorry."

They were both silent after that. But Buffy couldn't take it any longer.

"Spike, I love you." She blurted out.

Spike's face changed from agitation to anger.

"Well, you have a strange way of showing it."

"I tried calling you, I… you never gave me any chance to explain. Nothing happened, I didn't do anything wrong. Riley was there, and he didn't know I was seeing you. And I couldn't stop him. I…"

"Don't worry Buffy. I saw you with him again." At her confused look he continued. "I saw you with him a few days ago; he was carrying you to your building. I came over to give you a chance to explain, but what I saw pretty much sealed-the-deal. You don't have to explain." He was walking away from her then and she grabbed his arm to stop him.

"No Spike, it wasn't anything. I wasn't well, he was just helping me. Please, you have to believe me." She was almost begging him, her hormones getting the better of her as tears formed in her eyes.

"Spikey?"

Buffy whirled around and was faced with a blonde woman who was wearing an extremely short skirt and a top cut so low, her boobs were almost falling out.

"Harmony?" Buffy asked.

"Buffy? Oh my god, is that really you? How have you been?"

"I've been better. How are you? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Spikey was just showing me around. Do you know Spike?"

Buffy looked at Spike in disbelief. "I have to go."

Buffy fled from the room tears now running freely.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30: I need to go

**Chapter 30: I need to go**

Buffy sat on her bed staring into space. After she'd run into Spike the previous day she'd gone straight home. She'd crawled into bed, holding a pillow close to her and softly cried herself to sleep. She picked up the phone from its cradle and punched in a number.

"Hello, this is Paul?"

"Paul? It's Buffy."

"Buffy, how are you doing? Are you ok? I never saw you at the pub yesterday."

"Hi Paul. I'm sorry I can't talk to you in person, I tried to find you in the pub, but I ran into Spike and things got a bit complicated."

"You talked to Spike? Did he finally come to his senses and hear you out?"

Buffy was surprised to hear him say that. "What do you mean?"

"I spoke to Spike the other day like you asked me to and told him to at least give you a chance to explain yourself. Did he not go to you?"

"I… I haven't spoken to him until I saw him yesterday. He was with someone…"

There was a silence on the other side.

"Listen Paul, I need to talk to you about the pub. I need to get away for a bit. I can't stay here right now. I need some time to think. I'll keep in touch and try and do most of the work from LA."

"Buffy, what's going on? You're not sick are you?"

"No, I'm not sick. But there's a reason why I've been feeling ill."

There was once again a silence, which told her that Paul was waiting for her to continue. "Paul, I'm pregnant." Buffy sighed. "I couldn't tell Spike. I… I need some time. I'm sorry."

"Buffy, Spike has a right to know."

"I know, and he'll get to know. Just… I just can't face him right now. I'm sorry."

XXXXX

Spike paced the small office in Little London. He was waiting for Buffy to arrive. After the strange meeting yesterday he felt the need to explain himself. The look on her face had torn him apart, though at the time he rejoiced in the fact that he'd made her feel the same way she'd made him feel when he'd seen her with Riley.

That feeling hadn't lasted long. She'd looked pale, and it looked like she hadn't much sleep lately. Something in him had him worried and he couldn't stand it. As soon as Buffy had fled the building, Spike had ditched Harmony, no longer in the mood to be around the annoying bint.

"Spike man, what are you doing here?"

Spike whirled around and saw Paul walking into the small office.

"I'm waiting for Buffy. Where is she anyway? She should be here," he asked his first barman.

"She's not coming in today. She's been feeling under the weather lately and decided to stay home."

"Is she ok?" Spike asked, in a worried tone. When he looked at Paul he noticed the discomfort in his stance. "Paul? Tell me what is wrong."

"I'm sorry, Spike. I swore I wouldn't tell anyone, including you."

Spike didn't know what was happening, but something was obviously very wrong and it scared him to death. "You better tell me what the HELL is going on, cuz I'm not sure if I can take any more of this."

"Spike…"

"Tell me now!"

"She's pregnant, Spike."

There was a long silence and Spike walked over to the chair in front of the desk slowly sitting down, a look of disbelief on his face.

"Is it mine?"

This time it was Paul's turn to look at Spike in disbelief. "Jeezus Spike, first of all, this is not the conversation you should be having with me, and second of all, how on earth can you ask that? I've never seen a girl so much in love before, and it's none of my fucking business what's going on between you two, but I sure as hell can kick your ass for being such an idiot!"

"Well, what am I supposed to know? I'm being kept out of the bloody loop here with everything! Where is she Paul? She told you, but she didn't feel the need to tell me? If it was mine shouldn't she have come to me first?" Spike felt rage building up again.

"Yeah, but then again you already found another bimbo to play around with, haven't you?"

Spike looked stoic when he heard that.

"You really think she wanted to tell you, when she saw you with Harmony?"

Spike's face fell. She'd wanted to tell him…

XXXXX

Buffy walked into her mother's gallery. After her conversation with Paul, she'd called up her mom and told her the news. Her mother had only shown support and was happy to have Buffy stay with her for as long as she needed.

"Mom?"

"Buffy!" Her mother called out walking straight over to her and enveloping her into a tight hug. "How are you my darling?"

Buffy pulled back from the embrace and gave her mother a soft smile. "I'll be fine. I'm just glad I could get away for a little while."

"Who knows you're here?"

"I told Paul , Willow and Tara."

"All right, let's go home and spoil you a bit. You deserve some pampering I would say," Joyce replied and escorted Buffy outside.

XXXXX

"I need to see her." Spike stood up from the chair and walked towards the door.

"You probably won't find her at home," Paul called out to him as he was about the leave the office. Spike turned around with a raised eyebrow.

"What do you mean she won't be home? Where'd she go?"

"She needed to get away for a while. So she went to stay with someone else."

Spike was getting agitated again. "Right, and you also promised her not to tell me where that would be?"

Paul looked at him sheepishly.

"You know I'll find her, so you might just as well tell me."

"Where do you think Buffy would go to get away from all this?"

Thinking back of her little run away act earlier he knew his answer.

"Joyce."

XXXXX

The two women were sitting on the sofa enjoying a cup of hot cocoa after a nice dinner. Joyce was now completely filled in on what had happened the last few weeks and she'd been very supportive, but had also tried to tell Buffy Spike's point of view.

Buffy had looked at her mother as if she'd lost her mind, telling her once again that the kiss hadn't meant anything. But she did understand where Spike was coming from.

They'd talked some more until both agreed they'd had enough serious talk. So now they were both sitting down relaxed and sated, enjoying a random movie on TV, when there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it." Buffy got up from her seat and walked towards the front door. When she swung the door open, she saw the last person she'd expected to see.

"Spike?"


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31: Promises

**Chapter 31: Promises**

Before she knew what was happening she was enveloped in a tight manly embrace.

"Oh Buffy."

Buffy was stunned to say the least. "Spike?"

"Buffy, I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry."

She felt hot tears leaking onto her shirt and realised he was crying.

Her mother walked into the hallway and Buffy saw the apprehension on her face. Buffy gave her an encouraging smile and before walking toward the kitchen, her mom gave her an encouraging one back.

Buffy tried to pull herself out of Spike's embrace but he wouldn't have any of it. "Spike, please let me go."

"No, Buffy, I'm so sorry. Please don't tell me to go."

"I'm not, but your death grip is making it a bit hard to breathe." She felt him immediately loosen his hold, but still didn't let go of her. "Why are you here?"

He pulled back then and looked her in the eyes. The emotions were clear in his crystal blue eyes.

"And how did you know I was here? I specifically told everyone not to tell you." She felt her heart contract when she saw the hurt in his eyes. "I'm sorry, but you never gave me a chance to explain, and now I needed some time for myself."

"I'm sorry," was all he said.

"Stop saying you're sorry! It's the only thing that's come from your mouth since you got here and I'm still not sure why you're even here in the first place." She was definitely getting more agitated and the fact that she didn't know how to handle this situation didn't help her either.

She was mad at him for not listening to her, but also happy that he was finally there. But then she remembered seeing him with Harmony and felt the piercing pain in her heart. She pushed him away from her and managed to disentangle herself from his grip.

The emotions in his eyes spoke volumes of his feelings. Not wanting to be affected by it, she looked away and walked back into the living room, needing some extra space between them. She sat down in one of the chairs and saw Spike do the same.

He stared at his hands and said nothing. The silence continued and Buffy felt herself grow even more uncomfortable. Not being able to stand it anymore she opened her mouth to say something, but was cut ff by his voice filling the air.

"I never meant for you to see her there." He wasn't looking at her, so he missed the look of disbelief cross her face.

"You didn't mean for me to see her? You mean to say that she was a dirty little secret? Just another one of your bimbos to fall back on?"

His head shot up. "What? No, Buffy, I didn't mean it like that."

"So what did you mean Spike? Please, enlighten me!" She got up and started pacing the room. "Convince me that it wasn't what it looked like when I saw you with her. That it was just a way for you to get back at me." She turned to him and gave him a cold stare.

"I just needed someone around me. I couldn't take it being alone anymore."

"And you decided Harmony was a good replacement? Well, you know what Spike? You can go back to your little blonde substitute, because I really don't want to talk about it anymore."

She abruptly turned and marched out of the living room. She didn't get far though, because she was once again hit by one of her dizzy spells. She'd been warned to take it easy, but of course a situation like this didn't help that at all.

She moaned as she grabbed her head and felt her world go black.

XXXXX

Spike had followed behind her as she'd marched out of the living room. Though he hadn't expected her to crumble to the floor. He quickly shot out his arms to prevent her from connecting with the wooden surface.

He cradled her in his arms and looked with concern at her white face. "Joyce!" he called out immediately.

It didn't take long for her to speed into the hallway, having heard the urgency in his voice.

"She just collapsed. I didn't mean this to happen, I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"Shh, Spike, I know you didn't. Let's put her on the sofa, she'll probably come to in a few minutes."

Spike lifted her up in his arms, made his way back to the living room and slowly set her down on the sofa, her eyes already fluttering open again. He kept holding her close and brushed a kiss to her temple.

"Spike?" he heard her ask groggily.

"Shh pet. It's ok. Everything's going to be ok."

"What happened?"

"You fainted in the hallway. I was just in time to catch you before you hit the floor."

"I really need to stop doing that." She tried to sit up, but he didn't let go. He wasn't ever going to let her go again.

"No Buffy. I know I haven't been fair to you. But first we're going to talk about what just happened, because it's clear that this is not the first time."

Buffy looked away from him then. "It's nothing for you to worry about."

Spike was hurt by her answer. She didn't want to tell him the reason she'd been feeling less than 100.

"So, you want to tell me there's no specific reason that you just faint like that."

"I never said that, I told you it's nothing for you to worry about."

"Well sweetheart, that's where you're wrong. Because when the woman I love keeps fainting, it is something for me to be concerned about."

Buffy stayed silent after his proclamation.

"So? Are you going to be honest with me and tell me what's wrong, or do you think you can keep this from me forever?" The double meaning of his words were obviously not lost to her, because she turned in his arms and looked into his eyes suspiciously. He knew there'd come a time when there would be no way she could conceal her growing stomach.

"You know…"

"Know what Buffy? That you're carrying my child? Yes, I know." He told her firmly.

"I specifically told them not to say anything. It was for me to tell you." She wasn't looking him in the eye and he could tell she was upset that he had found out.

"I want you to be able to tell me everything."

She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "You were with another woman, Spike. I couldn't tell you. You have to understand that."

"I know Buffy. I know…"

They were both silent.

"I guess we have a lot to talk about," she said.

"I guess we do."


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32: Steps Forward

**Chapter 32: Steps Forward**

They sat in front of each other at the kitchen table, a cup of hot cocoa in front of them. Little marshmallows were floating in the brown substance as they occasionally stirred their cups.

As soon as Buffy had been back on her feet, Joyce had made them the hot cocoa and then she had gone back upstairs to leave the two to talk. It was clear there were a lot of unresolved issues.

"Did you sleep with her?" Buffy asked, looking him straight in the eye.

"No, I didn't."

"Were you going to?"

He looked away momentarily and Buffy felt a piercing pain in her heart.

"It's not what you think Buffy. I didn't go looking for her. She ran into me on my way over to the pub, and I invited her in to give her a bit of a tour."

Buff looked at him warily. "Your ex 'girlfriend', who you can't stand, runs into you and you just decide to give her a tour?"

"She's not my ex-girlfriend, it only happened once."

"Well, it was obviously going to happen again if I hadn't messed up your plans!"

"No, Buffy, I really hadn't planned on anything. You have to believe me."

"But it could have happened…" she said.

They were both quiet and it was clear by Spike's silence that she was right about her suspicions.

"I'm not sure how to make this work, Spike." Buffy felt the tears in her eyes.

"I want to be with you Buffy. I love you." His voice was rough with emotion.

"If you love me, how could you have even thought of having sex with another woman?"

"I… I don't know," he whispered.

"I never slept with Riley, or did anything else with him. You walked in on something that wasn't anything at all. You must believe me when I tell you I'm not like her. I'm not Cecily."

"I know. I just… when I saw Riley kissing you it all came back to me, the heartbreak. I couldn't breath and had to get out of there. A voice in me kept telling me it wasn't anything, but the pain was too strong. I'm sorry for not letting you explain."

They were both silent again contemplating what was going to happen next.

"I don't think I can be with you if you can't trust me. You told me, when we first met, that I should try and talk to someone about my insecurities." Buffy looked Spike straight in the eyes. "If this could ever work again, I want you to talk to someone. I can't be with someone if I know he has issues that could lead us to heartache."

When he didn't say anything, she felt her heart drop. She quietly got up from her chair and walked away.

"I'll do it."

The words made her stop in her tracks.

"I'll do anything to be with you, Buffy."

She saw him get up from his chair and walk slowly towards her. He stopped right in front of her and they stared into each others eyes.

"I'm going to show you how much I love you, and that I'm the one for you."

"Thank you," she replied softly and then he pulled her into a tight hug.

"I love you, Buffy," he whispered in her ear and she felt a lone tear slip from her eye.

"I love you too, Spike."

She disentangled herself from him and made her way to the living room.

"I'll go get some blankets so you can sleep on the sofa." She wasn't ready for them to share a bed yet. They still had a lot to talk about to clear the air, but at least now they'd made a start.

"Thanks."

She nodded and walked out to get his sleeping gear. When she came back, Spike was sitting in one of the chairs holding a picture of her, his fingers tracing her face. She made his temporary bed and stood waiting when she was done, not sure if she should just leave or not.

"I'll see you in the morning." She was turning around when she felt his hand on her arm. She looked up in his crystal clear eyes.

"Thanks for letting me stay," he said sincerely.

She smiled at him then. "Don't thank me just yet."

One of his hands reached up towards her face and she rested her head slightly against it. She felt the change in the air and when she felt his lips softly ghost over hers she stood where she was, not yet responding, but not pulling away. It wasn't time yet for full passionate kisses, but the comfort and promise of this brief kiss spoke volumes of what was to come.

She felt him pull back and saw the look of insecurity on his face. She gave him a soft smile and turned towards the staircase. "Goodnight, Spike."

XXXXX

When Spike walked into the kitchen Joyce was already reading the morning newspaper while enjoying a cup of coffee. She looked up when he entered and gave him a warm smile.

"Good morning, Spike. I hope you had a pleasant sleep."

"Thanks, Joyce. I slept well. And thank you for not kicking my ass out of the house yesterday."

"Don't be silly. Just because you and my daughter are not in a 100 secure relationship right now and have a lot of things to discuss, doesn't mean I would just turn my back on a man I know is right for my baby girl."

Spike smiled at her then and sat down in front of her. "Thanks for that. It means a lot to me to know that you approve of what we have. I just hope I can make it right."

"Just work hard and grovel. You'll get far by just doing that."

Spike grinned at that. "I think I can manage that."

"Can manage what?" Buffy walked into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee, all the while giving Spike a questioning look.

"Living off your exquisite cooking." Spike grinned at her.

Buffy raised an eyebrow, telling him she didn't believe a word he was saying.

"I called Tara this morning. I'm going to see her this afternoon. I'd like you to come with me."

'Not beating around the bush,' Spike thought to himself, the message clear that they weren't in the stage of jokes and laughter yet. "Sure pet, I'll come with you."

"Well you two, I've got to go to work. Will you call me if you're not coming here tonight?" Joyce asked her daughter.

"Of course mom, have a good day at work."

When Joyce left the kitchen Spike looked over at Buffy.

"Thanks for agreeing to come with me today," Buffy said.

"Don't thank me. I told you I would do anything to make this work. And I will prove to you it's all worth it."

XXXXX

They walked into Tara's office in silence. They hadn't really spoken a lot since they left Joyce's house to go to Buffy's therapy session. Well, it wasn't so much Buffy's therapy session now since Spike was there, and they were bound to talk about what they'd both been going through the last weeks.

"Hey Buffy, Hey Spike. I'll be back in a sec. You can take a seat of course. Either of you want something to drink?"

Both shook their heads. Silence settling upon them again as Tara left the office.

Buffy looked pale and Spike reached for her hand. She looked up a bit startled, clearly having been lost in thought.

"Are you ok, love? You look a little pale. You're not going to faint again, are you?"

"I'm just nervous."

He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand and it comforted and made her feel uncomfortable at the same time. He looked down at it when she retracted her hand. Spike felt a twinge in his heart. 'If he hadn't bollixed things up, he could have taken her in his arms at any given moment. She wouldn't have extracted herself from him. She wouldn't…"

"Spike?"

He looked up and saw the worry in her eyes. The thoughts in his head had caused his eyes to glaze over slightly and a pained frown had set on his forehead.

"I'm sorry, Buffy," he whispered hoarsely.

Her hand came up to his face to graze it slightly and he placed his own hand on top of it, leaning his head into the caress.

"I know you are Spike. And coming here with me means so much to me. If we can get through this…"

"We will Buffy. We will." He sounded a lot more forceful and to emphasize the power behind his words he pulled her into a hug, needing to feel her warm and soft body against his as reassurance.

XXXXX

Just as Spike pulled back again, Tara walked into the office. She saw the emotion on their faces. She knew from just looking at the two that the love for each other was great, but they had a lot to work through.

When she'd talked to Buffy for an 'emergency' meeting, Buffy had stated her concern about Spike's own trust issues. She was convinced that he was holding on to what was done to him in the past. And even how hard she'd tried to convince him that she wasn't like that, he'd still made his own conclusions when he saw her with Riley.

And now it was time to do some serious talking. In time things would be better. She just hoped it would be well before the baby was born.

She walked over to her chair and sat down.

"Well guys, let's get started."


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33: Tell me your story

**Chapter 33: Tell me your story**

"So, let's get started," Tara smiled at them. "Why did you decide to come to this session, Spike?"

"Because Buffy asked me to. And because I want to show her how much I love her."

"Is there any other reason why you think it would be good to have therapy sessions?"

Spike was silent for a moment. "I'm not sure."

"Buffy, what do you think?" Tara asked her.

Spike saw Buffy turning towards him and he looked at her expectantly. "I already told you before that I think it's good for you to talk about your own insecurities. I know that what happened between me and Riley wasn't something you would want to see your girlfriend do, for whatever reason. But you never gave me a chance to explain what had really happened, clearly thinking the worst of me without hearing me out."

Spike stayed silent, his own inner battle clear making it impossible for him to respond right away. It wasn't until he felt Buffy's hand on his that he was roused from him thoughts.

"Spike? Are you ok?"

"It hurts…"

"What hurts Spike?" Tara asked softly.

Spike looked her way slightly confused, he had forgotten she was there.

"I… I can't. I…"

"Spike, please." Buffy grasped his hand and squeezed it tightly. They had discussed his previous relationship with Cecily a few times, but never in detail. He'd always made it clear that he didn't want to go into the subject further. All she knew was that the girl cheated on him and had hurt him badly.

"Please." Buffy whispered urgently, triggering something in him because he looked back up at her, his mouth slightly open in preparation to talk.

"She… she used me. I was nothing to her. I thought she loved me, but… I was beneath her." The last bit was whispered softly, as he was clearly embarrassed to admit this.

"Who said you were beneath her?"

"Tell us what happened exactly Spike," Tara asked him quietly.

Spike looked up into two pairs of supporting eyes, and knew the only way to deal with this was to share his burden. He looked back down, not able to look at them while telling his tale.

"It was about four months after we moved in together. Things had been great and I gave Cecily all the love a man could give. I bought her gifts and cooked her simple dinners which we ate in front of the fireplace. The normal romantic things you do when you want to show the woman you love how much you actually care." He felt Buffy move closer to him as he spoke. She gave him strength by just being there and listening to him.

"I'd been thinking about it for a while. We'd been together for over 2 years by that stage and I felt we were ready for a next step after moving in together. So I went to our local jewellery store and picked out a nice ring."

Spike took a deep breath after that, the memories getting clearer in his head.

"You were going to propose to her." It was more a statement than a question that came from Buffy's mouth, but he nodded all the same.

"I thought we were at the point in our relationship that we could commit to each other to always love and cherish what we had."

"So what happened?"

"Well, I bought the ring and wanted to surprise her with something nice. So I bought some flowers and food. When I came home I started making dinner and arranging the place. It wasn't until half an hour later that I heard noises down the hall. At first I didn't realise what was going on until I heard soft moaning and an increasing thumping. I couldn't help myself, I marched straight to our bedroom door and opened it. The sight…"

He squeezed his eyes shut, wanting the haunting images to leave him alone. Buffy squeezed his hand and brought him back. He looked at a pair of pleading and supporting eyes.

"I saw them together. Cecily had tied up some guy and was riding him and moaning. She was having sex with some guy in our bed. The bed we shared and loved each other in. Nothing mattered anymore. It was all tainted. I remember standing there, completely frozen in place."

He took a deep breath before continuing. "Cecily hadn't noticed me at first, but something caught her attention because she looked at me. The expression on her face told me that I had no right to be there, that I wasn't wanted. Then the look of hate changed. She began smiling. She was smiling at me as if it were the most normal thing in the world."

Spike didn't realize that his voice had gone monotone.

"I couldn't look at her then and turned around and walked back into the kitchen, throwing away the food and blowing out all the candles I had lit. I sat down on the sofa, waiting for her to appear. I had jewellery box in my hand. Don't ask me why I picked it up off the counter. I knew I wasn't going to give her the ring, but I wasn't going to just walk away without her realising what she'd done."

He stared off into the distance, projecting himself back into that time and place. "She hadn't even bothered to get dressed. She just walked in still naked. When she sat down in a chair near me I looked at her and told her I loved her and thought she loved me. All she did was smile at me. I showed her the little box in my hand with the ring inside."

He stood up and began pacing around the room. "She laughed right in my face." His voice was bitter now, surpassing his anger and hurt while talking. "'Oh Spike, did you really think I would marry you. I'm sorry darling, but you're beneath me. There are things I want in this life and you'll never be able to give them to me.'"

He looked at Buffy. "That's what she said. I was hurt and confused. The woman I loved and had thought I would spend the rest of my life with had played me, used me at her convenience."

He was quiet after that. He felt ashamed for being so stupid and letting himself be played like that. When no one said anything for a few moments he looked up to gage their reaction. Buffy's face was wet with her tears and Tara looked at him with an understanding gaze.

"Thank you Spike, you did well." Tara smiled at him softly.

He just nodded. He felt strangely better, having shared this story with them. But he knew he still had a long way to go. Telling them this, didn't mean he was now cured, but it sure was a step in the right direction.

"How do you feel?" He heard Buffy ask quietly.

"I feel a lot better. Thank you for bringing me here."

He pulled her into a big hug. He knew that this was a good start to making their relationship work again.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34: Taken care off

**Chapter 34: Taken care off**

Buffy woke up and made a dash for the toilet. For the last few weeks her morning sickness had kicked in big time and she was experiencing the full effects of it right this very moment.

As she was slumped over the toilet, someone pulled back her hair from her face. She saw a glass of water out of the corner of her eye.

"Thanks," she said, taking it and she sat it down on the counter.

"No worries luv. It's what I'm here for," Spike said, stroking her back.

Things were going a lot better between them. He had had several more sessions with Tara, and had waited on Buffy hand and foot every day for the last few weeks. He would go out in the middle of the night to buy chocolate chip ice cream for her. And he'd joined her at her first doctor's appointment. The evidence of their creation was now pinned to Buffy's refrigerator.

"I suppose the little bit is letting us know it's still there. It's a comforting thing to know," he said and brushed a kiss to her cheek.

"Yeah, very comforting if you're not on the receiving end of it, hunched over a toilet seat," she growled, standing up.

"Now, don't be like that. I'm sure the little bit's not doing it on purpose."

Buffy grumbled something under her breath before splashing some cold water over her face. She turned around and saw Spike looking at her with adoration in his eyes. She looked at him questioningly.

"Do you have any idea how adorable you are, and how gorgeous you look?" he asked.

She looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. She just got out of bed, her hair was tangled all over the place and she wearing her fluffy pyjamas, her now slightly rounded belly sticking out in front of her and to top it all off, she had just finished puking.

"I just got out of bed and look like I'm carrying a small watermelon in my stomach. Where do I get off looking gorgeous?"

Spike grinned at her and stepped forward to take her in his arms and she let him.

"You're pregnant with my child. You are the most beautiful woman in the world. Even when you just get out of bed you know how to light up the room with your presence. You're one hell of a woman, Buffy."

She couldn't hold in the tears that wanted to slip from her eyes. Her emotions running high these days, she held on to him tightly and let the tears soak his shirt. It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to her.

Spike pulled back from her. "Hey now, I didn't mean to make you cry."

She sniffed and smiled up at him. "It's ok. It happens really easily these days. What you said was just so beautiful."

Spike beamed up at her and she couldn't help but giggle at the boyish expression on his face.

"Could I get some juice to drink now? The taste in my mouth is still all gross, and I'd like to get rid of it."

"Course luv, let's get you taken care off."

She let him take her hand and guide her to the kitchen where she sat down on one of the kitchen chairs. A moment later she took the glass of orange juice that he offered to her.

"Thanks." She took a sip and watched Spike rummaging through her kitchen. He'd been staying over a lot lately, taking care of her, and doing his best to show her he wanted this to work. She was grateful for his help and told him so many times.

Besides a few kisses and caresses nothing had happened between them. Buffy at first had been hesitant, but she was now craving his touch. Though it seemed Spike was very intent of showing her he loved her without any physical demonstrations. It worried her a little bit.

She slowly got up from her seat and walked up to where Spike was cleaning the kitchen counter. She placed her hand on his back and moved herself in between his body and the counter. She rested her chin on his chest and looked at him. She felt him wrap his arms around her and stood there gazing back at her.

"Hello there, cutie. There's nothing wrong, is there?"

She could hear the concern in his voice and smiled slowly at him. "Everything's been fine, great even," she smiled at him. "You've been absolutely wonderful."

"Well, I try."

"Don't you think you deserve something for being so good to me?" she asked with a naughty glint in her eye.

"Your acceptance of letting me be here is enough for me," he answered her, and she couldn't help but frown. It was clear she had to be more forceful in this. She of all people, who started off as the shy virgin that had to be seduced, was now taking control over the situation and trying to seduce the man she loved to get intimate with her.

"I think you deserve a lot more than that," she whispered as she pulled his face down for a soft kiss, tongues played gently with each other. She felt him pull back slightly and tried to soothe him by running her hand up and down his back in a tender manner. It wouldn't last long though, as Spike pulled back eventually resting his forehead against hers.

"Buffy, we shouldn't."

"Shh, who says we shouldn't? You've been here with me for the last week, taking care of me, but never trying anything. You say I'm beautiful, but won't dare to touch me intimately."

"I just… I don't deserve it yet. And I'm worried it won't be good for the baby," he answered her softly.

"Spike, look at me." He did so and she looked steadily back at him.

"Don't think you don't deserve it. I think that's mainly up to me to decide. And I'm telling you, you deserved it. Both of us made mistakes. You're not the only one. This is something for us both. You've shown the good man I know you are. I trust you and I hope you trust me."

She looked at him as she said the words. The expression on his face was blank at first, and then she saw a look of disbelief cross his face as her words came through to him.

"I trust you," she said again with a more forceful voice.

She didn't wait for his reaction again, just pulled his head down for a passionate kiss. She felt him respond within seconds, all the pent up emotion and sexual tension running wild. His hands ran over her body and she shivered under his touch. Her own hands weren't idle and ran over the planes of his chest, pulling the shirt out of his jeans.

"Buffy, luv, wait," she heard him pant through her daze. "Are you sure this is ok? I mean for the baby?"

She smiled at his concern. "It's more than ok. I think your two babies need some very careful and intimate attention," she huskily answered. She squealed when he growled, grabbed her buttocks and lifted her up on the counter to stand between her legs, all the while never breaking their kiss.

She moaned as he gently cupped her now very full breasts. "Spike…"

She saw him look up at her concerned.

"Take me to bed please."

He smiled at her, running his tongue behind his teeth, making a wave of wetness pool out of her. She was easily lifted off the kitchen counter and then he carried her to her room.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35: New beginnings

**Chapter 35: New beginnings**

Spike placed her on the bed carefully, kissing her gently and moving his hands over her body. He hovered over her as he continued his exploration over her body. She was making those delicious little sounds in the back of her throat which drove him completely crazy.

He carefully kneaded her breast until her nipple stood up craving for more attention. He realized how much fuller her breasts had gotten while preparing for nurturing their child.

"You're so beautiful, baby. You glow with life," Spike whispered to her as he started peppering kisses all over her face. He felt her hands trying to push up his shirt. He rose up a bit and helped her unbutton his shirt, both of them taking it off.

XXXXX

Spike woke up the next morning, his limbs entangled with Buffy's. He took in the sight of her. She was beautiful, lying there, the sheet that had meant to cover them in their sleep had slipped away and her full breasts and stomach were visible to his eyes.

He let his hand trail over her swollen stomach and waited for her eyes to flutter open. Once they did, green eyes locked onto his blue ones and he bent down to brush his lips over hers.

"Good morning," he whispered as her pulled back towards him.

He watched as she stretched her body from sleep. "How long have you been watching me?" she asked.

"A few minutes. I only just woke up myself. Someone wore me out last night." He grinned down at her.

"Well, I think we had a lot of time to make up for." She smiled at him cheekily and he could only laugh out loud at that.

"That we did, love."

"So, any plans for today? Don't you have to go to the pub?" she asked.

Spike sighed. "I do indeed. Things have gotten a bit stressful with the new section on the pub opening soon. Things have gotten in a whirlwind the last few weeks, and the opening is in three months time already."

"So I better not get in your way then." He felt her hand travelling over his chest and stomach making its way to his lower section. He growled at her and grabbed her hand before it could reach his already hard erection.

"You better watch where that hand is going," he said., lifting her leg up and pulling it over his thigh so they were facing each other, his erection prodding her folds.

"You have to go," she Whispered into his ear, the feel of it sending chills out over his entire body.

"I can go later," he whispered to her as he slid slowly inside her, her warmth surrounding him.

"I love you, Buffy."

Her response was whimpering from beneath him. He rolled them over to get better leverage and her pregnant belly did make it more difficult to find a good position, but he managed to get the hang of it.

Her increased movements told him she was getting close to coming and he wormed his hand between their bodies to rub her swollen nub. It triggered her orgasm right away and she screamed out her release, triggering his own as her walls clamped down around him.

"God, you're so amazing," he whispered in her ear.

"Hmmmm."

He looked at her as her eyes were already closing, sleep coming over her. He grinned and then placed a soft kiss on her lips before he slipped from the bed and began getting ready for work.

XXXXX

Buffy woke up to find her room flooded with sunshine. She rolled over searching for a body beside her when she realised she was in bed alone. She sat up and looked around the room. That's when she saw the small note on the pillow next to her. A smile soon engulfed her face.

The message she read out loud. "Didn't want to wake you, love, but I had to go to work. Will see you in a few hours. Love you always, Spike."

Tears leaked from her eyes as she read it. "Ahh, I have to stop being so emotional!" she grumbled to herself as she rubbed the tears away with the back of her hand.

Getting out of bed, she walked into the bathroom to grab a shower. She wanted to go out and do some shopping, and she might have to go to the pub to see how things were going, even though they weren't expecting her at all.

She had finished getting ready and was about to walk out the front door when her cell phone rang.

"Buffy speaking."

"Hey Buffy, it's Willow."

"Hey Willow, how are you doing?" Buffy asked cheerfully closing the door behind her.

"I'm good thanks, and it sounds like you're doing well yourself. What has gotten you so chipper?"

"Oh well, things are just going so well at the moment. It's just not possible not to be chipper. I was actually on my way to the mall the do some shopping before I go to the pub. Do you want to meet up for a coffee?"

"Well, that was actually why I was calling. You were reading my mind. I can meet you at around noon. We could get something to eat as well if you haven't eaten yet?"

"Sure Willow, that sounds good too. Meet you then." She clicked her phone shut and got in the car to go to the mall.

XXXXX

"Yo Spike, where's this go?" someone called from the staircase leading to the lower section of the pub.

"Far end against the back wall," he called back.

Most of the furniture for the section was arriving today and it was a bit of a chaos. Luckily the pub was going to be closed to give them time to do what they had to do. Thankfully they didn't need to worry about having everything cleaned up before opening time.

A low murmuring caught his attention as he made is way up to the small office that Buffy used when she was working. He hadn't allowed her too much work anymore when he found out she was pregnant. She had argued with him at first telling him he was acting crazy and that she could still do her job as normal, but with some persuading she'd agreed she was going to take things a little easier.

As he walked in he saw his girl hunched over the desk with Paul standing next to her, reading through some papers.

"What the hell is going on here?" he almost barked at them.

Both faces shot up and looked at him with surprise.

"Spike, you scared me!" Buffy scolded at him.

He raised his eyebrow at her still waiting for an answer. He was just teasing her, and he knew she was aware of that.

"Now don't be like that, Spike." Paul started, but stopped when Buffy put her hand on his arm.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, her face showing all innocence.

Now it was Spikes turn to scowl.

"You know damn well to stay away from my woman." Spike stated turning towards Paul who was starting to look rather frightened.

"Man, there's nothing going on. I didn't…"

Buffy started giggling like mad and Spike's face turned into a big smile.

"Oh boy, you're easy," Spike said while walking up to the pair and slapping his hand on Paul's back.

"What? I'm not easy, you're just damn scary when it comes to you and Buffy." Paul spoke up.

"We were only joking around. I know you'd never dare do anything with my girl," he grinned and took Buffy's hand in his squeezing it softly.

"Like I would let anything like that happen," she responded.

He gave her a quick peck on the lips to reassure her he knew. Their talks about what had happened, had helped build their trust.

"So, what exactly are you doing here?" he asked her suspiciously. "Did I not tell you not to work anymore? You have to take it easy and enjoy our pregnancy."

"I know you did, but you can't stop me. And I was in town anyway. I went shopping and met up with Willow for coffee. You know there's enough work to do before the new section of the pub opens. Before you know it, those few months will have flown by. I can't just sit still and do nothing."

"I know… I just want you to be careful ok?" he told her softly, the concern clear in his voice.

"Uh, guys, not to disturb this lovely moment here, but I think I should continue with some work, so if you'll excuse me…" Paul was already walking out of the office before they could reply.

"I think we may have scared him a little with that act we put up." Buffy giggled to him.

"Yeah, we might have given him a bit of a fright. I'll go talk to him later."

"Now come here, I haven't even gotten a chance to give you a kiss." And he covered her mouth with his, not giving her a chance to say anything.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36: Grand opening

**Hi all, so sorry for the lack of updates. This is the final chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed the story!**

--

**Chapter 36: Grand opening**

_3 months later_

Buffy made her way to the pub to finish some last minute stuff. The opening of the new underground area was tonight and Spike wanted everything to be perfect. He'd been working really hard to get everything the way he wanted it to be, but had been very attentive to her at the same time.

Even though she really shouldn't be working anymore, she'd supported him as much as she could, She still managed most of the the pub area with help from Paul.

"Hello there Big Mama!" she heard someone yell from behind her as she made her way to the stairs towards her office. She turned around and gave Paul a big smile.

He'd been teasing her about her swollen stomach every chance he got, and she didn't mind. She knew she'd always been a skinny thing, but she looked like she'd swallowed a watermelon whole.

"Hello, Paul. I hope you're ready for tonight. You know Spike, he wants everything to be absolutely perfect."

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Though I'm not sure if a pregnant woman like yourself should be working as hard as she is."

"Don't worry about me,Paul. I'm doing just great. I think the little one is having cravings for its daddy, because it gets very restless when I just sit at home doing nothing. Besides, you know I'm not going to let Spike do this all by himself," she answered with a smile.

"I know you won't. It was worth a shot though. Getting you away from here." He winked at her. "If you're looking for Spike, he's downstairs," he said, turning to the bar and started to finish setting things up.

"He knows where to find me. I need to finish some work before the big night myself. I'll be in my office if anyone needs me," Buffy said.

She made her way to her office and sat down in her chair. Oh, it was good to sit down. Her feet and ankles were swollen and it hurt when she'd stood up too long. This little bugger was one weight to carry, but she wouldn't have it any other way. She stroked her belly absently to soothe the baby inside and went over her last minute paperwork.

An hour later she hard someone tap on the door before they walked into the office. She raised her head from her work and saw Spike making his way over to her.

"Hey," she replied with a lazy smile.

"Hello kitten, how are you doing?" he said while kneeling down and giving her a soft kiss on the lips. She didn't get a chance to respond though because he'd already moved his head southwards towards her belly where he lifted her shirt to graze her naked skin there.

"Hello little bit. How are you doing in there?" he whispered.

Buffy rolled her eyes but felt 'the little bit' kick. "Fine, go ahead. Communicate with each other, I'll sit and pretend I'm not even here," she teased.

Spike gave her a brilliant smile though and lifted her up from the chair, sat down and then put her on his lap. "I think someone's feeling neglected."

She felt him nuzzle her neck with his nose and leave peppery soft kisses in its trail. Buffy sighed and let herself relax in his embrace.

"I'm tired Spike. Take me home?" she requested and moved her head to the side to look at his beautiful face.

She was still surprised sometimes when she realised what a wonderful man she'd managed to catch for herself. Even with all the little bumps in the road they'd had, she knew he was the one for her.

She was put on her feet as Spike got out of the chair and she straightened her shirt.

"Let's go love, you can have a little nap before the big night. Everything's ready," he said, taking her hand and leading her out of the building.

XXXXX

Spike peeked into the bedroom and saw Buffy sleeping. She must have been pretty tired, she'd been out as a light within seconds. He couldn't help but stare at her for a few minutes. She was so beautiful. Her belly filled with his baby, and she had a glow about her that he was sure only pregnant women had.

He walked to the bed and stripped down to his boxers and joined her on the bed. He pulled her towards him and wrapped his hands around her swollen belly. He felt some movement and made small circles on the spot where he'd felt the soft kick trying to soothe the baby back to sleep. He didn't want it to wake Buffy just yet.

He kissed Buffy's shoulder and let one hand move from her belly towards her now full breasts. He loved her breasts as they were, but the idea of them being food for their child made him admire them even more. He softly caressed them and rubbed his thumb over her nipples. They turned into hard little nubs and he felt Buffy start to wake. She moved in his embrace and turned her head to look into his eyes. Her eyes fluttered open and he saw

the brilliant green orbs stare back at him.

"Hey there kitten. Did you sleep well?" he whispered into her ear.

"Hmm."

Spike chuckled and ran his hand over her cheek slowly and moved his mouth towards hers. Their lips met in a soft and gentle kiss, tongues stroking each other in a dance of their own. Buffy turned in his embrace and he let his hands trail over her back towards her bottom.

"Hmm Spike, please."

"Buffy, are you sure? What did Doctor O'Malley say?"

"It's ok Spike. We just have to be careful and gentle. Please make

love to me."

He didn't give her a chance to say anything else because he crushed his lips against hers. There was nothing more beautiful then making love to the woman who was full of your child.

He quietly undressed her and stripped off his own boxers. He couldn't lie on top of her so he spooned behind her, putting her leg over his hip and slowly entered her from behind.

"God Buffy, you're so tight still, so wet. I love you baby, love you so much," Spike whispered in her ear as he started pumping slowly in and out of her, keeping his strokes shallow as to not hurt her and the baby.

He kept it soft and gentle and he felt his own climax approaching as he made love to her. He felt she was getting closer as well and moved his hand towards her clit. He flicked it gently with his thumb and he felt her walls contract around his cock immediately, taking him with her.

They lay in each others arms enjoying the afterglow of their lovemaking.

"We need to get ready," he heard Buffy whisper in a drowsy voice.

He chuckled and crawled out of the bed holding his hand out to her. "Come on now love, let's take a shower. We better be there on time."

Buffy took his hand and he let her towards the bathroom to get them both cleaned up.

XXXXX

"Spike man, how are you doing?" Xander asked. After Xander had made things up with Buffy, the two males had come to like each other which neither of them had expected. They weren't the best of buds, but they no longer had any grudges against each other.

"Things are going great. Everybody seems to be enjoying themselves and that's the most important thing. Of course having the most beautiful lady by my side doesn't hurt," Spike said squeezing Buffy's shoulders.

"Yeah, things are looking fantastic," Xander said.

It was obvious Xander was trying to stay away from the topic of Buffy. It wasn't that Spike didn't trust him, it was more about the woman standing beside him that had him wrapped around her little finger, and he clearly didn't want to upset her with comments about the gorgeousness of Buffy.

"Hey Buffy, you look radiant tonight!" Cordy said.

"Thanks Cordy, you're looking good yourself," Buffy replied with a smile.

"I know."

Buffy couldn't help but giggle. She pulled Spike toward the dance floor. "Come on you, let's dance."

She let herself be wrapped in his embrace and laid her head on his chest. "I'm glad things worked out well today."

"Me too, kitten. It's a success, and I have a lot of that to thank you for. I love you, Buffy."

He held her gaze and she felt tears come to her eyes. She was so damn emotional these days! "I love you too, Spike," she whispered and pulled his head down for a loving kiss.

They continued their dance and just as they were about to walk off, Xander tapped Spike on his shoulder to cut in.

"Oh, alright then, but be careful with her. She's precious cargo." Spike winked at Buffy and stood aside to let the two dance.

"I'm glad things worked out with you and Spike. And I'm also glad we worked out," Xander said.

"Me too Xander. You're a good friend, and I hope that will stay for a long, long time."

They were silent for a short while when Buffy spoke up again.

"So you and Cordy huh?"

"Hehe yeah. It turns out she finally saw the light and wanted to be with me. Of course I'm not easy to resist." He smirked at her.

Buffy swatted his chest. "You're a good guy Xander. You've got to have faith in yourself."

"I know. And thank you for saying that."

"You're welcome." Buffy pulled him in for a hug and Xander responded by taking her in his arms, closing his eyes in the process.

"Hey now mate, I know you are not trying to get your hands on my soon bride to be!" Spike punched Xander in the arm to break the two apart.

He looked at Buffy and saw the look on her face. 'Bloody hell…"

**The end**


End file.
